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| Posted on Sunday, October 20 @ 00:00:15 PDT |
We begin this week with a dirigible, an Airbnb, and a pair of tickets to a blueblood football classic.
This year the College Football Hall of Fame inducted the Goodyear blimp as its first non-human inductee, in can be only a matter of time before some of the animal mascots earn an invite.
To celebrate that honor, Goodyear has partnered with Airbnb by offering three separate one-night stays inside the blimp, which will be located inside the hangar in Mogadore, Ohio overlooking Wingfoot Lake, the one bedroom with bathroom includes food, drinks, transportation, and a pair of two-tickets to the Notre Dame Michigan game on October 26th, all for the reasonable price of $150 a night.
Goodyear spokesperson Julianne Roberts said, “We felt it was an exciting way to engage fans, and we felt it was a good year (pun intended I’m sure) to showcase the blimp.â€
This weekend, let’s see which teams play so well it leaves its fans floating out of the stadium, and which so poorly, it leaves its faithful looking skyward for some help from a higher power.
No. 16 Michigan at No. 7 Penn State (Ch.5, 7:30 p.m.) This is the classic measuring stick where we’ll find out if the “Sons of Tom Harmon†aka the Michigan Wolverines are contenders or, with apologies to Jackson Browne, “The Pretender.
â€â€œâ€¦Where the ships bearing their dreams sail out of sight.â€
An upset Big Blue victory in Happy Valley will keep the Wolverines chugging along on the “yellow brick road†pointed toward Indianapolis, with a chance, albeit with a Himalayan sized Scarlet and Grey obstacle in its path, for its first Big Ten Championship since the final year of W’s first term – 2004.
But a loss virtually ends that dream, and “Mr. Khaki†will need more than a national laundry commercial to hold off the Ann Arbor pitchfork brigade. (Is that Jerry Jones on the phone?!)
Here are some soiled ill-fitting khakis that have occurred during the Harbaugh tenure: Michigan is 0-7 as an underdog, 1-6 on the road against ranked teams, 1-9 versus top ten opponents, and oh yeah, 0-4 against the Buckeyes.
This season was heralded with Caesar-like fanfare when Michigan’s new offensive coordinator Joe Gattis installed what he referred to as a “speed in space†offensive attack with the intention of exploiting its plethora of “explosive†talent.
Unfortunately for the ram-helmeted faithful, that attack has been as frozen as the head of Ted Williams.
The fumbilitis (17-fumbles – 9 lost) Wolverines, who lose the ball more than Chico in the Marx Brothers 1932 classic “Horse Feathers†sit a bottom feeding 84th on offense, and have been as listless and stagnant as the visage of Mitch McConnell, or a speech on the environment by Senator Ed Markey.
Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh and his QB Shea Patterson confer
QB Shea Patterson (9 TDs -3 Ints – 57%) is director of this snooze-a-thon and a poster-boy of inconsistency, who has yet to string together four quarters of quality football.
The former Ole Miss signal caller is assisted by a pair of rapidly improving tailbacks Hassan Harkins and Zach Charbonnet, and if his GPS is in working order chooses from a Cardinal-like convocation of wideouts; Ronnie Bell, Donovan Peoples-Jones, Tarik Black, Nico Collins and Nick Eubanks all of whom have the ability to severely stress a defense.
But the biggest ponderable for the faithful of the “Sons of Dan Dufek,†and on a par with the Holy Trinity remains the performance of d-coordinator Don Brown’s tattered eleven.
Can this group, anchored by backers Jordan Glasgow, and ends Kwity Paye, and Josh Uche (combined 14 tfls-9 sacks) ranking as the nation’s fifteenth (17 pts.
– courtesy of Rutgers, Iowa, and Illinois) stingiest squad, arise to the clarion call from the spirit of Bo and shutdown a quality opponent, and “keep,†as Barak Obama often spouted, “hope alive.â€
[Note: Dufek ‘76 played both football and hockey at Michigan, is in the Hall of Honor, played 8-years for the Seattle Seahawks, and was also drafted by the NHL, and WHA.]
In Happy Valley, its official, coach James Franklin’s Nittany Lions, who feed off their coach’s edgy cockiness, have performed in symphonic fashion on both sides of the ball, and have morphed into legitimate Big Ten title challenger, and dare I say, a national playoff contender.
Penn State QB Sean Clifford is dangerous on the run
The “Sons of Lenny Moore,†the nation’s ninth highest (42 pts.) scoring squad, are directed by its fearless dual-threat sophomore QB Sean Clifford (13-TDs 2 Ints -2 rushing) with assists from his punishing steamrolling tailback Noah Cain, and a trio of big-play field-stretchers; Jahan Dotson, K.J. Hamler, and Massachusetts (Merrimac, Brooks School) native, tight end Pat Freirermuth, who have combined for an impressive total of 11-TDs
On D, the “Sons of Mike Reid,†the nation’s second (8 pts.
)stingiest, and fourth overall, anchored by end Yetur Gross-Matos (8.5 tfls-5.5 sacks), backer Micah Parsons, and tackles PJ Mustipher, and Robert Windsor, hit harder than a Thomas Hearns right, and fly to the ball with the same intensity as a seagull zeroing in on a freshly discarded french fry at Sullivan’s parking lot at Castle Island.
This virtual Big Ten East elimination game for the Ann Arbor eleven, and one that will have more cracking and smacking than a Roller Derby Championship, but we just don’t have faith that Donnie Brown’s matador “Ole†D will be able to hold up against the Lions. As Penn State’s “white out†keeps the Michigan faithful on its seemingly endless Diogenes-like search for answers after another lost season. (Sorry Scott!)
No. 12 Oregon at No. 25 Washington (Ch.5, 12:30 p.m.) In the great Northwest, when these two teams of mirror images collide, it is known simply as; “Hate Week.â€
If the Ducks, who have won 18 of the last 24 of these tong-wars, sip from the cup of victory, it will have virtually clinched up the Pac-12 North title.
But surprisingly for the Green of Eugene faithful, instead of watching a continuous Charles River Hatch-like July 4th offensive explosion, it has been its D, the nation’s third (8.
7 pts) stingiest, which has been quacking the loudest this season at “Phil Knight University.â€
The “Sons of Dave Wilcox,†who hit with the pounding power of a smithy forging a shoe, have limited its last five opponents to single digit totals for the first time since the second term of Dwight Eisenhower -1958, when the sticker price for a brand new Cadillac Eldorado Seville was all of $7500, and the Billboard 100 No.1 song was; “It’s all in the game,†by Tommy Edwards.
First year d-coordinator Andy Avalos, and headman Mario Christobal are the maestros who have created that that attacking D mentality, which is second in interceptions (12), a plus 9 in turnover margin and backboned by a trio of backers; Troy Dye, Isaac Slade-Matautia, and Mase Funa, who have pursue the opposition with the same intensity as the Turks invading the Syrian Kurds, or a subpoena issued by the chairman of the House intelligence committee Adam Schiff.
Ducks QB Justin Herbert locks onto his target
With the defense earning top marquee billing in Eugene, the Ducks offense, despite the performance of its stellar future Sunday afternoon performer, QB Justin Herbert (17 TDs – 1 Int -69%), who’s bazooka arm can hit a target with the same accuracy as Putin’s Russian Air Force MiG 29’s taking out a Syrian hospital, has been as inconsistent as the foreign policy decisions emanating from the Oval Office of “Two-Scoops†aka the POTUS.
(That’s for u Tuck!)
Cocooned by a seasoned offensive line, the Ducks gunslinger, who has NFL scouts drooling, is assisted by a pair of jitterbugging turbo-charged tailbacks; CJ Verdell, and Travis Dye, while receivers Jaylon Redd, and Johnny Johnson (starry tight end Jacob Breeland, who leads them in receiving yards and TDs is out for season) along with Penn State transfer Juwan “Butterfingers†Johnson, have the capability to score faster than Robert Redford in his prime at a Sundance shindig, but has yet to achieve its starring role.
In the “Emerald City,†the offense of UW coach Chris Petersen’s Huskies has had periods when it has vanished nearly as often as audience members at a magic show by David Copperfield, or the husbands of Elizabeth Taylor.
Washington QB Jacob Eason spots his target
Georgia transfer QB Jacob Eason (13 TDs-3 Ints-66%) is the director of the “Sons of Warren Moon,†with assists from a trio of pedestrian tailbacks; Salvon Ahmed, Sean McGrew, and Richard Newton.
And when its field general takes to the grey, damp Seattle skies, wideouts Aaron Fuller, Hunter Bryant, Andre Baccelllia, Puka Nacua, and tight end Cade Otton, are solid enticing targets.
The Huskies D has also been the best in show, led by backer Ryan Bowman, end Benning Potoa’e (6 tfls-4 sacks), and safety Asa Turner, but won’t cause, with apologies to Tom Hanks, any “Sleepless in Seattle†nights for opposing d-coordinators.
We think “Hate Week†turns into a love-fest for the Ducks faithful, as Oregon sews up the Pac-12 North division, and in a similar fashion to Alberto Salazar, infuses an extra dose of oxygen improving Oregon’s than life-support chance of earning a playoff invite.
No. 17 Arizona State at No. 13 Utah (FS1, 10 p.m.) Who’s laughing now? When the “Sons of Danny White†stepped outside the box and hired alum, and former NFL coach Herm Edwards, the snickering was louder than the conveyer belt at the Mars factory where the iconic Snickers bar is manufactured.
Arizona State coach Herm Edwards exhorts his troops onward
But with the Wildcats wrapped up in a four-way battle for the top spot in the Pac-12 South, and sporting a top-twenty ranking, those snarky catcalls, if they still exist, are softer than a whisper at a funeral service.
The Cats 92nd rated offense is directed is its dynamic dual-threat t-freshman QB Jayden Daniels (8 TDs-1 Int -63%) with assists from tailback Eno Benjamin (7 TDs), and wideouts Brandon Aiyuk (21-yds-5 TDs), and Kyle Williams, on a group that has been as ineffective as the presidential campaign of Beto O’Rourke or the United Nations dealing with the humanitarian crisis in Yemen.
On D, “The Sons of Curley Culp†featuring end Jermayne Lole, backer Darien Butler, and safety Evan Fields stones runners, and despite a pass defense that ranks as high (102) as the fever of a fluish patient, has managed to stand high-cotton tall in defending the red zone, surrendering a miniscule 16-points a game.
Utah coach Kyle Whittingham angered over a call
Embarking on his 16th season as the headman at Utah, coach Kyle Whittingham, and his stellar 125-62 resume, is the best coach in America that nobody knows, and could be a poster boy for the federal witness protection program.
The “Sons of Lee Grosscup†are commanded by its starry dual-threat QB Tyler Huntley (9 TDs-0 Ints-75%) who hits his target with the same success that Pretty-Boy Floyd hit and robbed a bank.
Protected by an o-line that has allowed only three skinny sacks, the Utes are anchored by its tone setting piston-driving tailback Zack Moss (nearly 8-yards a carry – 6 TDs), who rumbles over a defense with the same intimidating force as a shiny spinning ball rolling from the hand of Hall of Famer bowler Dick Webber.
And when the Utes QB takes to the gorgeous skies over the Wasatch Mountain range, wideouts Demari Simpkins, Jaylen Dixon, and Bryan Thompson are solid chain moving targets.
Defense is the buzzword for the Salt Lake City “Beehive State†eleven.
These “Sons of Manny Fernandez,†the nation’s eighth (13) stingiest D, and tenth overall, anchored by backers Francis Bernard, Devin Lloyd, and end Bradlee Anae surrenders an eye-popping average of only five second-half points per game, and has allowed a seasonal aggregate total of; 79-points, a performance that is reflective of the steely resolve of its underrated coach.
We have always been a strong booster of Whittingham, and would love to see him get an opportunity to run the show of a major glamour program. That said, we think there will be a post-game Snickers celebration as the Utes take a huge leap toward the Pac-12 South crown.
No. 9 Florida at South Carolina (ESPN, Noon) In the shadow of the 150th celebration of the South Carolina State Fair, Coach Dan Mullen and his visiting Gators need to quickly hit the reset button and focus on a suddenly dangerous, and reenergized, bunch of Gamecocks.
Florida QB Kyle Trask and coach Dan Mullen
The “Sons of Steve Spurrier†are under the command of backup QB Kyle Trask (10 TDs-3 Ints-68%) who amazingly never started a game in high school, but since taking over for the injured Feleipe Franks has exhibited the swashbuckling confident swagger of Cary Grant and has kept the Gators in the hunt for the SEC East.
The Florida signal caller, (who takes the occasional breather when his rotating relief-pitcher, dual-threat QB Emory Jones (6-yds a rush) takes a series) is assisted by a pair of talented tailbacks; Lamical Perine and Dameon Pierce, who have been hamstrung all season by a neophyte and still maturing offensive line.
While the heavy artillery selection for the red-shirt junior, a battalion of sky-scrapping field-stretching wideouts; Van Jefferson, Freddie Swain, Trevon Grimes, and tight end Kyle Pitts, have shown better hands than Allstate and are capable of breaking open a game at any moment. On D, the “Sons of Wilber Marshall†the nation’s tenth (14 pts) stingiest, anchored by end Jabari Zuniga (ankle), and backers Jonathan Greenard (ankle – 6.5 tfls-4 sacks)and David Reese, leads the SEC in interceptions with a dozen, and hits harder than a planned power outage by California’s PG&E.
Gamecock coach Will Muschamp walks off victorious with his wife by his side
In Columbia, after last week’s Teutonic shifting upset, “Professor†(new glasses) Will Muschamp’s Gamecocks have been infused like the Russian Olympic team, with a renewed purpose and direction and has its faithful eagerly anticipating how its beloved Cocks will respond to its stunning lottery-winning good fortune.
The Cocks have never beaten top-10 teams in consecutive weeks, but the faithful of the “Sons of Joe Morrison†are already getting their “Cockabooses†ready in anticipation of this showdown.
QB Ryan Hilinski (6 TDs-3 Ints-62%) who is expected to be back under center (knee sprain), is assisted by a pair of hard-charging tailbacks Rico Dowdle, and Tavien Feaster, along with a wideout trio: Bryan Edwards, Shi Smith, and Kyle Markway on an offense that is as uninspiring (72nd scoring 28-pts.) as the entire field of Democrat presidential candidates, except of course Mayor Pete..
On D, the Gamecocks led by its tackling machine backer Ernest Jones, his partner T.J. Brunson, and end D.J. Wonnum (6.5 tfls-3.5 sacks) has in recent weeks tightened like the pressure on the Turks, but like the quixotic campaign of Bill Weld, continues to struggle defending (98) against the pass, which is a poisonous formula against the Gators.
In a game that will have more bruises than a Macintosh orchard after a two-day October Nor’easter, we think it will be the Gators, in a close hard fought game survive, and begin to prepare for its Armageddon upcoming showdown against the Bulldogs of Georgia.
Temple at No. 19 SMU (ESPN, 3:30 p.m.) The Temple Owls, who in 2004 were kicked to the curb from the late and lamented Big East Conference, have like Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz,†found a home in the AAC (American Athletic Conference), and are currently tied atop its East Division, and on the cusp of an AP top-25 ranking, which would be its first since the second term of the Reagan Administration – 1986.
Temple QB Anthony Russo in action
On offense, the leader of the “Sons of Bucko Kilroy†is its dual-threat leather toughened QB Anthony Russo (13 TDs-6 Ints-59%) who along with tailbacks Re’Mahn Davis, Jager Gardner and wideouts Jaden Blue, Isaiah Wright, and Braden Mack are often as “dynamic†(39th overall) as the performance of Julian Castro on the Democrat presidential debate stage.
Temple’s D, anchored by its starry tackle Ifeanyi Maijeh, (9.5 tfls-6 sacks) backer Shaun Bradley, and Baylor transfer, corner Harrison Hand, is solid in all phases surrendering a respectable 19-points a game.
The phrase “like father like son†is reported to have first appeared in a book of proverbs in 1615 during the reign of British King James VI.
That phrasing most assuredly applies to SMU coach Sonny Dykes, the son of former Texas Tech coach Spike, who was considered an offensive innovator when he roamed the sidelines in Lubbock for 14-years as the headman of the Red Raiders.
For the Mustangs, who are 6-0 for the first time since the “Pony Express†era of Eric Dickerson and Craig James, it’s been a long climb from the self-inflicted Dante-esque abyss of the legendary “pay for play†and gifted Trans Am’s days of the old SWC (Sure We’ll Cheat) Conference, and the death penalty sentence SMU received killing the football program for two-years; 1987-88. [No one will ever receive such a penalty again – too much money involved.]
SMU QB and Texas grad-transfer Shane Buchele locks onto his target
The unimpeachable (not you Donald) leader of this “Air-Raid†renaissance, is former Texas grad-transfer, senior QB Shane Buechele (12 TDs-5 Ints-67%) who is one of the 23 players from other Division 1 programs on the Mustang roster.
The cocksure field-general of the nation’s sixth highest scoring (44) offense, is assisted by a pair of touchdown making wideouts; James Proche (7 TDs), and West Virginia transfer Reggie Roberson, who averages 16-yards a grab, while Xavier Jones, who has 12 rushing TDs, is line busting tailback.
Unfortunately the D of the “Sons of Lamar Hunt,†featuring backers Patrick Nelson (6.5 tfls-5.5 sacks), Richard McBryde, and end Delonte Scott (8.5 tfls-3.5 sacks), has more exposure (99th defending the pass, 78th in scoring D) than the bikinis strolling the beach of Monte Carlo, or the people living in and around the lead infested Paris neighborhood of Notre Dame Cathedral.
This is a tough game to get a handle, but we’ll stay with the Mustangs to continue its transition, with a tip of the cap to CBS sports Dennis Dodd who described them the following way, “from cheaters to world beaters.â€
Last week: 4-1 Season record: 22-14
That’s it from cyber-space. We’ll be up and running with week 10 Wednesday night. Until then, Peace, and more than ever, listen to the music. PK Paul Kenney has written about national college football for 15 years. He lives in Milton.. Never miss a story
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