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| Dance group | | wvnews.com |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (5 reads) | |
|
Dance group
as featured on
buckhannon, w.Va. (Wv news) — even with temperatures soaring into the upper 80s friday eveni…
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teen jailed after 136 mph police pursuit on i-79 in harrison, lewis counties2 accused of stealing almost 100 items by going through self-checkout lane at clarksburg walmartthousands attend clarksburgs fourth of july celebration featuring wheeling symphony, liberty market and fireworksfireworks, food, live music: a look at july 4 events happening in lehigh valleywa board considers parole for ‘hillside strangler’ convicted of 1970s murdersseveral charged in multi-county vape shop investigation in buckhannon (west virginia)arrests made in multi-county thc sale probe centered on vape shopsholzer therapist sheds light on pelvic pain: treatment, causes, and hope for recoverybonnie clarks journey from wvu to mlb power playeraccident to celebrate annual 4th of july homecoming
commented
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| CSS_5145.JPG | | wvnews.com |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (4 reads) | |
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teen jailed after 136 mph police pursuit on i-79 in harrison, lewis counties2 accused of stealing almost 100 items by going through self-checkout lane at clarksburg walmartthousands attend clarksburgs fourth of july celebration featuring wheeling symphony, liberty market and fireworksfireworks, food, live music: a look at july 4 events happening in lehigh valleywa board considers parole for ‘hillside strangler’ convicted of 1970s murdersseveral charged in multi-county vape shop investigation in buckhannon (west virginia)arrests made in multi-county thc sale probe centered on vape shopsholzer therapist sheds light on pelvic pain: treatment, causes, and hope for recoverybonnie clarks journey from wvu to mlb power playeraccident to celebrate annual 4th of july homecoming
commented
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[thousands attend clarksburgs fourth of july celebration featuring wheeling symphony, liberty market and fireworks](https://www.Wvnews.Com/news/wvnews/thousands-attend-clarksburgs-fourth-of-july-celebration-featuring-wheeling-symphony-liberty-market-and-fireworks/article_474f155d-4d0d-4472-b89d-c45d559a9c14.Html) -
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| Stonestreet Band with Upshur Courthouse in background | | wvnews.com |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (4 reads) | |
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Stonestreet band with upshur courthouse in background
as featured on
buckhannon, w.Va. (Wv news) — even with temperatures soaring into the upper 80s friday eveni…
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trending stories
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teen jailed after 136 mph police pursuit on i-79 in harrison, lewis counties2 accused of stealing almost 100 items by going through self-checkout lane at clarksburg walmartthousands attend clarksburgs fourth of july celebration featuring wheeling symphony, liberty market and fireworksfireworks, food, live music: a look at july 4 events happening in lehigh valleywa board considers parole for ‘hillside strangler’ convicted of 1970s murdersseveral charged in multi-county vape shop investigation in buckhannon (west virginia)arrests made in multi-county thc sale probe centered on vape shopsholzer therapist sheds light on pelvic pain: treatment, causes, and hope for recoverybonnie clarks journey from wvu to mlb power playeraccident to celebrate annual 4th of july homecoming
commented
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| Delivering for the Merrimack Valley |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (6 reads) | |
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A state budget grounded in values
by: ma state senator pavel payano
6-25
the state budget isn’t just a document of numbers and line items—it’s a reflection of our values. It’s where we show, in concrete terms, who and what we’re willing to fight for. And as the massachusetts senate passed our version of the fiscal year 2026 budget, i fought to ensure that our values as a region—equity, opportunity, and community—were front and center.
too often, our communities are told to wait. However, i don’t believe we should wait to invest in young people. I don’t believe we should wait to address hunger or underfunded schools or broken housing systems. Our families can’t afford to wait—and this budget reflects that urgency.
how the budget process works in massachusetts
every year, the massachusetts budget process starts with a revenue estimate. This is how much the state expects to collect in taxes and fees. Then, different parts of the state government propose how to spend that money. The governor gives an initial budget proposal. Then the house of representatives and the senate each debate and revise their own versions.
after both chambers pass their versions, they work out the differences in a joint committee. Once they agree, the final budget is sent back to both chambers for approval and then to the governor for signing.
this budget will guide how the state spends money from july 1, 2025, through june 30, 2026.
key budget takeaways
• no new taxes and a full rainy-day fund
the senate budget does not raise taxes and avoids dipping into the state’s “rainy day fund,” which stands at a record $8.1 billion. That fund is crucial for protecting the state during economic downturns.
• local control over liquor licenses
the budget gives cities and towns more control over issuing liquor licenses.
local governments will no longer need state approval to decide how many restaurants or bars can operate in their communities.
• focus on responsible budgeting
despite a $3.7 billion increase in overall spending—mostly due to health care costs—the senate based its plan on realistic revenue projections and avoided deficit spending.
over $527 million for our cities
in total, the senate budget includes over $527 million for lawrence, haverhill, and methuen—including historic levels of chapter 70 education aid, general government aid, and over $1 million in direct investments i secured for local programs.
• lawrence: $317.6 million in school aid (11.08% increase) and $24.7 million in general aid
• haverhill: $94.2 million in school aid (7.27% increase) and $12.4 million in general aid
• methuen: $71 million in school aid (3.6% increase) and $6.8 million in general aid
these aren’t abstract numbers—they are the dollars that will help keep teachers in classrooms, programs running, and essential city services moving forward.
investing in local organizations that make a difference
i was proud to file and advocate for over $1 million in direct funding for local and regional organizations doing transformative work in our communities. These aren’t outside institutions—they’re trusted, local leaders solving problems from the ground up. Here’s how that funding breaks down:
• merrimack valley food bank – $500,000 (regional): supports over 40 food distribution partners across methuen, lawrence, and haverhill, helping offset the loss of 400,000 meals due to federal cuts. This ensures thousands of families continue to access nutritious food.
• methuen arlington neighborhood, inc. – $100,000: expands entrepreneurship, neighborhood revitalization, and community self-sufficiency.
• elevated thought – $75,000: provides arts-based youth engagement and supports young people as creators and community leaders.
• sí, se puede inc. – $75,000: builds youth organizing and leadership development programs rooted in justice and empowerment.
• debbie’s treasure chest – $50,000: offers critical resources for families in crisis, ensuring no child goes without basic necessities.
• greater lawrence community boating program – $50,000: funds youth jobs, environmental learning, and water safety training in an inclusive, outdoor space.
• makeit haverhill – $50,000: expands job training and digital literacy programs for underserved residents.
• team haverhill – $50,000: supports neighborhood beautification, climate resilience, and civic pride through grassroots initiatives.
• somebody cares new england – $50,000: helps meet growing demand at its food pantry, ensuring families have access to healthy meals.
a statewide vision aligned with our local needs
our wins didn’t stop at the district line. I supported major statewide initiatives that will benefit families across the merrimack valley, including:
• $120 million for universal free community college, including access to emt and paramedic training
• $475 million for child care providers through the c3 grant program
• $600,000 for the massachusetts downtown initiative (through my amendment) to help cities plan for long-term economic revitalization
these are the kinds of structural investments that move us toward a commonwealth where a child in lawrence or methuen has the same opportunity as one in any other zip code.
governing with responsibility and purpose
this budget passed with bipartisan support. It avoids new taxes, protects our $8.1 billion rainy day fund, and reflects both fiscal discipline and moral clarity. It responds to the moment we’re in, while preparing for the future we deserve.
in politics, it’s easy to say what you stand for. Budgets show what you’re willing to stand up for. I’m proud that this budget stands up for food access, education, youth opportunity, and local leadership.
and i’m deeply grateful to the residents of lawrence, methuen, and haverhill for allowing me to carry your voices to the senate chamber.
this budget bill will now move into conference committee negotiations. During this time i will continue fighting to make sure these investments remain in the final budget signed by governor healey. Because our communities can’t wait—and neither will i.
you can email senator payano at
pavel.Payano@masenate.Gov |
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| Cherry Hill Arts and Music Waterfront Festival honors July 4th with a hint of ch |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (6 reads) | |
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Fireworks, live music, street activations, and an innovative drone show lit up baltimores skyline friday night as residents gathered across the city to celebrate independence day with a uniquely local flair.
from inner harbor to south baltimores cherry hill neighborhood, thousands turned out to mark the holiday with food, entertainment, and patriotic spirit. Among the standout events was the cherry hill arts & music waterfront festival, which featured small business vendors, food trucks, and live performances, all leading up to the evenings grand finale.
this year, we not only have the fireworks display in the harbor, but were also doing a drone show for the first time ever, said linzy jackson, director of the mayors office of arts, culture & entertainment. Everyones involved, everyone feels like theyre a part of it — and i think thats why were seeing what were seeing today.
the drone display, produced in collaboration with the cherry hill festival, added a high-tech twist to the citys traditional pyrotechnics. It was part of a 10-minute show set to begin around 9 p.M., Visible from various points across the city.
meanwhile, in curtis bay, local pyrotechnics company image engineering finalized preparations for the fireworks show.
today we are taking what i designed in a software and putting it in place, said zach paul of image engineering. Its such a large effect and so heavily seen and impactful. Its easy to leave an impression with people with fireworks.
emergency operations on standby city officials emphasized that the days events were designed to be inclusive and safe. Emergency operations remained on standby, and multiple city agencies were on site to provide support.
the city is prepared, jackson said. We have our emergency operations open tonight. We have all of our agencies, all of our partners — we have enough coverage for everything and enough to do for everyone.
mayor brandon scott, who planned to attend the cherry hill festival, curated the evenings soundtrack alongside dj no id. The playlist, which accompanied the drone display, was a nod to the mayors college days as a dj at st. Marys college of maryland.
jackson encouraged residents to grab your family, grab your friends, and come out and enjoy yourselves.
with clear skies and temperatures in the 80s, baltimoreans did just that. |
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| HUSTLE & HEART: Comedian Steph Tolevs Journey to Becoming Netflixs Filth Queen |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (6 reads) | |
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With her fearless delivery, raw honesty, and a stage presence that hits like a full-blown rock concert, steph tolev has carved out a lane all her own in the world of stand-up. But don’t mistake her netflix debut “filth queen” for an overnight success—tolev has spent years on the grind, from dingy clubs to packed-out festivals, building a reputation for her wild, no-holds-barred comedy and undeniable presence.
tolev first caught fire on “bill burr presents: friends who kill,” part of the netflix is a joke festival, and was named a comedian you should and will know by vulture, which hailed her as one of canada’s funniest exports. Her credits include comedy central’s “the ringers” and “unprotected sets,” a memorable role on “corporate,” and a starring appearance in the sarah silverman-produced “please understand me.” She headlines clubs across the country, draws acclaim at comedy festivals around the globe, and keeps fans laughing with her hit podcast “steph infection” on all things comedy . She also appears in the bill burr-written feature “old dads,” and stars in season two of netflix’s “tires” alongside some of comedy’s brightest stars, including shane gillis and stavros halkias.
now, one of the most inspiring comedians in the game is taking her biggest swing yet. In this candid conversation, she takes us behind the scenes of her rise—sharing the blood, sweat, and spit that went into building her brand of brutally hilarious comedy. From embracing the chaos to finding her voice, this is steph tolev unfiltered.
steph, i can’t thank you enough for taking time out to talk to me today. I’ve been a fan of the podcast and your social media content for quite a while, but i must say, you’ve truly hit it out of the park with your new netflix special, “filth queen.” I could go on and on…
please do! [Laughs] i’m kidding!
before we dive into the special, let’s rewind to the beginning. What was your initial exposure to the creative arts?
well, in my youth, i used to compete in highland dance. That’s the scottish dancing with the kilts and the bagpipes. Have you heard of this?
i have to say it’s not on my radar!
that’s okay! No one ever has, so i don’t have to explain it; just google “scottish dancing.” [Laughs] anyway, i did that my whole life. My mom is a dance teacher, so that’s how i got into it. Well, i was forced into it at the age of 3 and did that until i was about eighteen. So, i’ve always been around performing. When i was 12 or 13, i decided i wanted to be an actress, and that was my goal, and then that didn’t happen. I applied to be in the theater program at four schools in canada, and i got a big fat denial letter in the mail saying i was dog shit, so then i took a 2-year program at humber college, where there’s a comedy writing performance program — improv and sketch. You know, it’s literally clown college!
when did standup weasel its way into your life?
i did my first set when i was 17. I took improv classes when i was 16, and a year later, i was like, “i’m finally going to try my 1st set.” It was a really shitty bar show in scarborough, ontario, at a place called tommy cook’s. It was like a dive bar, and i got heckled so bad that i told the guy i was going to beat him up. And then, he waited for me in the parking lot!
wow! [Laughs] how did that work out?
i literally was like, “are you serious?” It was like, “oh, my god! This is crazy. You’re an older man, and i’m seventeen. Am i fighting an adult man right now?” It was crazy, and then i just left. For some reason, despite all that, i was like, “okay, here we go. Keep going!”
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to be honest, every one of my teachers and all of my friends told me i should do it because i was dog shit in every other class in school. So, i had a lot of people chirping in my ear to try it, so i finally gave it a go. Of course, the first time you do well on stage, you get that crazy rush. I think it was like 18 or 19, the first time i managed to kill on stage. That was the moment when i said, “oh! Now i see why people want to do this!”
it sounds like all it took was that little adrenaline hit, and you put the pedal to the floor!
yeah! I was doing a lot of sketch and improv when i first started, but i gravitated toward standup. At some point, i realized you don’t get any money from sketch or improv! Standup was paying something, even if it was in the form of beer tickets, so standup became the focus in my twenties.
the hard work paid off, as you’ve become one of the most unique voices in comedy. It’s hard to believe you’ve been at it for more than two decades!
yeah, it’s been twenty-three years now.
it’s safe to assume that those early sets were a lot different than what you bring today.
oh, it’s so bad! Actually, my teacher from humber college sent me a tape of one of the first sets i ever recorded with the school. I was like, “hey. If this leaks, i will haunt you!” It’s so bad. As a comic, it takes at least 7 to 10 years to find your voice. It’s not easy. It was like, “i’m like 17. I have nothing to say. I have no opinion. I don’t care!” But i was around twenty-four or twenty-five before i found it, and it wasn’t until i was around twenty-seven that i came into my own.
what lessons did you learn early on as a young standup that resonate with you today?
i learned that it doesn’t matter how many times someone tells you no; you have to keep going. It doesn’t matter how often people think you’re not funny, or if one person cannot find you funny, because the next day you could run into a bill burr, who does find you funny. It comes down to having the drive to continue, no matter how many obstacles come your way. If you truly believe you should be doing this and you genuinely believe you’re funny, then you have to push through all that negative stuff because it’s never going to stop. Even if you have a netflix special, people are still gonna say these things to you.
i admire your work ethic. Where did that end up in your dna?
both of my parents were super hardworking. Of course, my mom started her own highland dancing school when she was 19. She dropped out of school, and that’s all she did. She didn’t go the traditional route and started her own school, which is still doing very well. At the same time, my dad worked at the toronto hydro company, where he would work all day and then come home and watch us. Then, all weekend, he would do electrical work. He never stopped! So, i was lucky to be surrounded by a family of people who were always working nonstop. It was a very blue-collar family. I started babysitting at 12—that was my first job. I was shown right away by my family that i must work, and if i want anything, i must work very hard. Never let them know! [Laughs]
the world could use more of that today!
i think so. Yeah, i remember the first time i asked for a particular pair of jeans. I wanted them so badly, and they were $80. My parents said, ‘we’re buying you that.’ And i was like, “but everybody else is getting them!” They were like, “i don’t give a shit. Get your own job.” And i was like, “oh, okay. I guess i simply must go to work. So yeah, i’ve been working pretty hard for years!
one of the things i love about your work, both on and off stage, is your gift as a storyteller. How did it enter the picture?
i’m not entirely sure how the storytelling aspect came into play. What happened was that a lot of weird things happened to me as a kid. I just told a story on ari shaffir’s podcast about how i saved a woman’s life because she fell through the ceiling, and i had to take a shit. I was sitting down because i didn’t want to shit in public, and i literally saved her life because she landed on my body. That’s a weird thing for an 8-year-old girl to experience. I saved her life in this bizarre way. Ever since i was a kid, strange things have happened to me. Then, i would tell them to my friends in a comical way, which they’d find hilarious. From that point on, i knew i wanted to share with people the real things that have happened to me. They’re like, “oh, the hell’s wrong with your life!” And i’m like, “i don’t know! I actually don’t know. I don’t want to live like this, but here it is!
thankfully, we can live vicariously through you!
yeah. You’re all welcome! [Laughs]
your debut comedy special, “filth queen,” just debuted on netflix. Did you do anything to celebrate that day? I know this is years in the making. I hope you treated yourself!
yes, thank you! My manager flew to town. She took my boyfriend and me out for a fancy dinner. We went to craig’s. It’s like a fancy place where celebs go all the time. However, when i left, there were a bunch of paparazzi outside, but no one took my photo. I was like, “i’m on netflix!” It was very embarrassing because no one knew who i was. But yeah, we went to a nice dinner and had some great food. I’m a foodie. That’s all i want — to be with the good people in my life and just snack!
i’ve never met anyone more relatable!
tonight, i’m having a massive party! We’ve rented out the viper room. It’s like a classic staple for the rock scene in los angeles. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.
absolutely! What a perfect spot to choose. That definitely complements the rock ‘n’ roll flavor of the special itself! I’ve heard you talk a little bit on your podcast, but tell us a little about how that rock influence injected itself into the mix.
it started because my dad was a huge grunge head. We would go on long car rides with my dad, and he would blast alice in chains, stone temple pilots, and stuff like that. There’s a video of my sister and me when i was six and she was three, where we’re both singing every word of ozzy osbourne’s “no more tears.” We were literally just playing with dolls and singing ozzy osbourne, which is insane. My dad had a huge record collection and knew every guitarist of every rock band ever made, so he would always be pushing us toward it. I went to my first concert when i was 15 years old. I started going all the time, and i was a huge mosh head.
in my special, i featured this band called death from above 1979 ; they’re a rock duo from toronto. I’ve seen them about 20 times now, and they’re one of my favorite bands of all time. I’ve seen them in toronto, here, there, and everywhere. I’ve seen them so many times, and i’ve kept all my ticket stubs. It’s crazy! I was a rocker. My boyfriend bought me an electronic drum set that i’ve used twice. You know, it’s that whole thing where all comedians want to be rock stars! Except. I really want to be a rock star. I would love to be a rock star! I mean, i already have a mullet. I could be a drummer in a punk band!
before we dive into some specifics, tell us about how the ball got rolling on this special.
it was all through all things comedy because i do a lot with bill burr , and my podcast is on their platform. They had made a deal with netflix for ten specials, and i was kind of in the rotation to be one of them that got made. I pushed from there, and then i was picked, and now here we are!
what was it like for you when you finally got the call?
i bawled my eyes out! You see, i was at a weird, crazy party one night, and i actually talked to ted sarandos, who’s the guy who runs netflix. I told him to his face that i wanted to do a special with them. He was like, “oh, okay.” It was blunt of me to ask. And then, literally, two days later, mike borlina from all things comedy called me. He says, “umm, what did you say to ted sarandos…” in a sullen voice. Full disclosure, i was drunk at the party, and i was like, “oh, my god! Oh, my god. What did i say?!” I started panicking, and he’s like, “you’ve got yourself a netflix special.” I was at the airport on a layover when i got the call. I remember i couldn’t even get to the united lounge because it was so fucking packed, and i just started sobbing because i was so happy.
did you already have the material ready to go for what would become “filth queen”?
i’ve been ready for years. I’ve been a road dog. I’ve been headlining since i was twenty-five years old. So, there were like four jokes where i felt, “okay, this is the first time a lot of people are going to be seeing me, so i’m putting the greatest hits in here!” These are things i don’t ever do live anymore. It’s just a nice homage to be like, “bye-bye, jokes!” So i figured, ‘well, you’ve gotta retire them somehow!’—Like the tuna joke and the cat puking bit.
great bits, but it was all great material. I’m not overselling it. “Filth queen” takes you on a great ride from start to finish. Just like a rock show!
good!
i can’t imagine how satisfying this must have been after two decades of hard work. What were the highlights of putting this thing together?
finding the location to shoot was the coolest. I knew i wanted to do boston because those crowds are crazy. The first place we looked was the paradise rock club. I flew out there just to see it, and as soon as i stepped inside, i felt this energy. I was the one who said i wanted to look like a van halen concert. So, if you watch anything old on youtube, you’ll see van halen, those lights, and the trellises, right?
yeah, totally. The glory days of rock, long before everyone had movie-quality pyro and led screens.
right! I ripped that right from one of their live shows because i thought it looked so fucking cool!
nailed it!
and, because i wear jumpsuits all the time, i incorporated that too. I have this amazing stylist who works with artists like beyoncé. She designed this like an angus young-looking jumpsuit, tailored from an actual men’s suit. I remember putting it on for the first time, and it literally fit me like a glove because i had taken so many measurements to make sure i wasn’t self-conscious. I didn’t want anything hanging out. Putting it on for the first time felt incredible!
i was heavily involved in all of the look and the editing. With every edit, i was like, “can we change this?” The editor, kelly lyon, was amazing, but i was still there every step of the way. There were many things i wanted to include, such as the long fall. I wanted to include that because it was the premise for one of my first viral videos, where i fell for a very long time. People seemed to really enjoy it, so that was the perfect way to segue into getting bill burr in there because, you know, you need people to know who i am. I need bill burr in there to be like, “she’s fuckin’ funny!” Otherwise, people might say, “i don’t know. I guess i’m going to watch teenage girls wearing bikinis…” or whatever the fuck that cheerleading show is on netflix! I need people to be immediately into the special before anything starts. When it comes to the making of the special, the opening was probably the best part.
i loved the attention to detail, especially the “tolev” logos on the speaker cabinets. Great touch!
that’s one thing i didn’t do. That was john campbell, who was the dp of the special. He did an amazing job, and i even kept one of those logos. I just wanted something from the special that was nostalgic.
i’m sure you kept the romper around as well.
oh, yeah! But! That romper stinks! I have to get it cleaned, but i assure you it’s here… and it was very wet.
like i said, ‘filth queen’ is great from start to finish. How does the final product compare to what you would envision in your head for all those years?
it’s actually pretty much exactly what i want to look like. I still can’t believe it. I worked with the best people who listened to everything. Sometimes, you work with people who don’t see your vision, and it can be challenging. Take the opening, for example. When i first told my director about what i wanted to do, she said, “what are you talking about?” I’m like, “trust me! I’m going to fall this time; this dummy is going to go flying. Trust me.” We had this whole vision, and it came together so nicely! I’m extremely happy with how it turned out. All came out.
you’re no stranger to being on stage or taping your sets. You’ve even been featured on “bill burr presents: friends who kill” on netflix. Can you tell us a little about the mindset you get into when taping something like this? Are there butterflies, or is this all old hat at this point in the game?
it was a combination of things. Knowing i only had two takes to do it, i knew i had to be focused. I knew that the crowds were gonna be good, and i knew the jokes were good. It’s not like i was bringing in a brand-new joke, and i was worried that something weird was going to happen. I also had a lot of good people in my corner. My parents came, my sister came, and three of my best friends flew in from toronto. I had people fly from winnipeg to support me in a way that just made me feel so loved. Honestly, it just felt as if i were just doing these jokes for my friends who hadn’t seen them before. My boyfriend, who was extremely supportive, was also there. He did the teleprompter for me! Having everyone there was just so nice, and it just felt incredibly good.
wow! It’s really cool to see things come full circle like that. I’m sure you’re over the moon for you right now!
i am! It doesn’t feel real. Like the party tonight. I looked at the guest list, and it says tommy lee is coming. What the fuck is happening right now! It doesn’t make any sense. Tonight’s the night it’s going to finally sink in, and i’ll probably be a big emotional mess, but…
you earned it, girl! Now that it’s finally in the can, and you’re able to celebrate! What’s your biggest takeaway from the experience?
the main thing is that i’m just happy that i stuck to my guns about some things. I was really vocal about sharing my two cents, especially during the editing process. I know some people are like, “do whatever you want?” But that ain’t me! These are jokes i’ve been doing for 23 years. While in the editing process, i might see something like the camera angle being to the side. I spoke up and said, “no, no, no. The act-out has to be at the front for this one!” I learned that you’ve really got to stick to your guns. Also, learned that the work is not done once the special is filmed! The amount of press i’ve been doing now is insane, but i’m not complaining. I’m having a blast doing all of this! I’m talking about myself. It’s easy stuff, but the workload never ends. So, if people are looking into doing this, they gotta really be hands-on if they want it to be exactly how they want it!
what’s the writing process like for you these days?
that all comes from watching myself. Writing-wise, it happens mostly on stage. I might have a riff with the crowd, and then i’m like, “oh, that could be something. When i do weekends, it’s typically two shows a night, so two hours of shows. I give myself about 30 minutes at the top to do new stuff and riffs, and then i’ll get into the new jokes i’m working on!
what’s a day in the life like for you these days as a creator? I mean, you’re a standup first and foremost, but you’re also a podcaster, content creator, and the list goes on. It’s a whole grind!
yes! Thank you so much for recognizing that, because that is what it is! It’s literally every single day! I can show you how insane it is! Look at this! [Holds up a notepad riddled with notes, timelines, and to-dos] i’m an insane person! Every single morning, i have my to-do list. I have a post schedule with everything! This is everything i am going to post, which includes what form of social media and what time every fucking week! I also edit all my own podcasts and clips. So, every single day, when i wake up, i either record one or two podcasts. Thank god i record at my house now, or i would have lost my mind! Then, i edit clips before rushing off to do 2 to 3 shows a night when i’m home, or i fly out on thursday night and do a weekend of shows. So it’s like every time, that’s all i do. I wake up, i work out. I walk my dog, and it’s on to the other stuff. My boyfriend and i are like, “are we having sex today? We have to do it now, or else there’s too much going on!” I’m practically scheduling my sex life on my to-do list! It’s crazy!
if people are discovering you, they will definitely want to check out your podcast, “steph infection.” What are some of the highs and lows you’ve experienced as a podcaster?
the lows are that i make absolutely no money. Every episode, i’m in the hole of $250 to my editor. So, the low is that i’ve made not one cent off the podcast, but the high is that in my meet-and-greet lines, that’s the main thing that people thank me for! They’re like, “it’s just such a refreshing thing to hear comedians not talking the same fucking stories you hear in every goddamn podcast!”
it’s been a great way for people to feel like they’re not alone. We all have weird bodies, and everyone has something gross. Whether it’s shitting yourself, having a hemorrhoid, a weird rash, or an ingrown toenail, everybody has these things! So, the high for me has been that it’s a nice way for people to relate to something and not feel alone. Through the podcast, i was actually diagnosed with something called “toad hands.” No doctor could figure out what i had, but i talked about it so much that someone sent me a link, and now i know what i have! I found the answer through my podcast, which is crazy!
see, you are getting paid! You got some free health care! [Laughs]
yeah! [Laughs] i should look at it like that. Yes.
in addition to the special and the podcast, people can catch you on season 2 of shane gillis’ series, ‘tires.’ Are you aiming to focus more on the craft of acting as you move forward?
yeah. When i first got into comedy, i wanted to be a comedic actress, but then standup just kind of started rollercoastering. I’m not complaining, but i love being on set. As i mentioned, i’ve been on the road for years, so i’d like to be here with my dog and my boyfriend. I have some material that i’m about to pitch, so hopefully, something gets made, allowing me to showcase my writing and acting together, as the road takes a toll. The shows are not the bad part. Anyone who comes out to see me live is always saying, “oh, my god, you’re so much funnier live!” I’m like, “every comic is funnier live! Get off your fucking phones and go to a live show! It’s killing me!
be sure to catch the unwavering intensity of steph tolev in shane gillis’ hilarious comedy series, ‘tires,’ now streaming on netflix! What kinds of projects or materials are you most drawn to now?
simply anything! I will play a goblin under a bridge! [Laughs] put me in water! I will play a dock toll. I don’t care! I like acting, and everyone’s always saying, “you’re a good actor. You should act more.” I’m trying. I mean, i should act more. I’m auditioning for things, but because of my look, i get very specific roles. I’m about to do an audition right now, actually, for a lesbian mechanic. Yeah, that’s me! But sometimes, i will get “the girl next door.” I’m not the girl next door. I’m a man next door! I have a mullet, and i look like a lesbian. It has to be something relatable. So, i’m excited for something like that. It’s easier for me that way. Take the barb role on “tires,” for example. That’s me! This is me picturing my boyfriend cheating on me. Was it acting? I don’t know. I don’t know if that was acting or very method! I like stuff along those lines, and obviously, i also want it to be funny!
you’ve got a growing platform, and with bill burr giving you a boost early on, are there any comics you think people need to be watching right now?
yes, kelly ryan . She opens up for anthony jeselnik, and she’s an absolute killer. She works at the store, and she’s unbelievably funny, for sure. I’m sure you’ll know who chris fleming is. He’s makes me laugh like crazy on the internet. Audrey stewart is a local la comedian who always kills! I would say check those 3 out if you haven’t yet.
looking back on your journey in comedy, how do you feel you’ve most evolved along the way?
i think the biggest evolution came when i finally didn’t give a shit on stage. I used to be extremely self-conscious and would constantly worry about what other people thought about me. Doing that was so freeing when it came to my comedy. I realized i’m not for everybody. No comic is. So, the people who are going to like me will really like me, and others… not so much. That’s simply it. There’s not one comic on the planet that everyone is going to like. Some people hate jerry seinfeld! Once i realized that being on stage was so much more freeing.
what’s the best lesson we can take from your journey so far?
just work your goddamn ass off. It doesn’t matter who says you’re not funny or you’re not good. Whatever job you’re doing, if you work hard for 23 years, all this could be yours! [Laughs] you gotta do everything yourself. You can’t trust anybody. You gotta work your ass off if you want something.
you’re living proof! “Filth queen” really kicks ass, steph. Thanks for giving us an inside look. You’re going places, and i look forward to seeing what comes next.
thank you. Tell that to my trolls! [Laughs] talk to you soon!
will do! Thanks for everything! Take care!] |
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latest revision as of 01:21, 5 july 2025
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a production code is an identity for each, and every simpsons episode assigned by the production team to help identify it from its respective season/episode number. Episodes are often broadcast by their production order i.E. In numerical order. This is a list of the simpsons episodes by production order, along with their broadcast season/episode numbers, and their original broadcast dates.
for the list of episodes by date, see here and for the list of episodes in alphabetical order, see here.
production codes
prod. Code | prod. Season | episodes | holdovers | |
---|---|---|---|---|
7g |
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23456789101112131415[16](/wiki/season_16)[17](/wiki/season_17)[18](/wiki/season_18)[19](/wiki/season_19)[20](/wiki/season_20)[21](/wiki/season_21)[22](/wiki/season_22)[23](/wiki/season_23)[24](/wiki/season_24)[25](/wiki/season_25)[26](/wiki/season_26)[27](/wiki/season_27)[28](/wiki/season_28)[29](/wiki/season_29)[30](/wiki/season_30)[31](/wiki/season_31)[32](/wiki/season_32)[33](/wiki/season_33)[34](/wiki/season_34)[35](/wiki/season_35)[36](/wiki/season_36)[37](/wiki/season_37)notes
- the simpsons uses the same production code format as other 20th century fox-produced shows. It has received three revisions over the shows run:
[[1]](#cite_note-1)- the first, used before 1990, was formatted ssxx: ss denoting the randomly-chosen season identifier for any show, usually consisting of a number and letter, with xx being the order in which the episode was produced. Season 1 of the simpsons was given the identification 7g, which was used as an in-joke by
[james l. Brooks](/wiki/james_l._brooks)by having[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson)work in sector 7g at the[springfield nuclear power plant](/wiki/springfield_nuclear_power_plant). - The second, used from 1990 until 1998, was formatted ysxx: y was the identifier for the television season that it was produced for (i.E. 7 for the 1990-91 tv season until 5 for 1997-98), s being the letter given to the show in question (e.G. F for the simpsons, x for the x-files) and xx being the order in which the episode was produced. The simpsons used this code format from seasons 2 until 9, including season 4s 9f being succeeded by season 5s 1f. The number 6 was not used as this format was replaced after the digit 5 was available.
- the third and most recent has been used since 1998. It is currently formatted as 0sssxx, with 0 being the season identifier from 1 to z (excluding i because it can be confused with numerical digits and u for unknown reasons), sss is the three-letter identifier for the show in question (e.G. Shows held over from the previous tv season had their existing identifier prefixed with ab, meaning the simpsons uses abf) and xx being the order in which the episode was produced. The simpsons started using this code at season 10, so it was given the digit a. Regarding discrepancies, season 18 used the letter j, following season 17s h, which is also true for seasons 22 and 23s n and p, and seasons 26 and 27s t and v.
- season 24 additionally skipped the letter q and instead used r. After season 31 concluded with z, the originally-unavailable q was assigned to season 32.
- season 33 has been assigned the originally-unavailable u.
- season 34 has been assigned the originally-unavailable o.
- season 35 has been given 35abf as the production code.
- the first, used before 1990, was formatted ssxx: ss denoting the randomly-chosen season identifier for any show, usually consisting of a number and letter, with xx being the order in which the episode was produced. Season 1 of the simpsons was given the identification 7g, which was used as an in-joke by
- the 3g production code refers to the supplemental set of episodes produced within the 7th production season under
[al jean](/wiki/al_jean)&[mike reiss](/wiki/mike_reiss)(previously showrunners for seasons 3 and 4) as showrunners, despite that[bill oakley](/wiki/bill_oakley)&[josh weinstein](/wiki/josh_weinstein)were the main showrunners of seasons 7 and 8. Four episodes were produced from 3g01-04, the springfield files, lisas sax, simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious and simpson tide, respectively. 3g01 and 3g03 were both aired in season 8 while 3g02 and 3g04 were both aired in season 9.
- holdovers are episodes that eventually air on a succeeding season that was produced within an earlier production season, e.G. Season 4 has the code 9f, but the two episodes at the start of the season use 8f as they were initially produced for season 3. The 35th production season has the most number of holdovers, as eleven episodes from the season aired during the 36th broadcast season.
7g - [season 1](/wiki/season_1)
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
7g01 | 1 - 113 | may 13, 1990 |
|
[bart the genius](/wiki/bart_the_genius)[homers odyssey](/wiki/homer%27s_odyssey)[theres no disgrace like home](/wiki/there%27s_no_disgrace_like_home)[bart the general](/wiki/bart_the_general)[moaning lisa](/wiki/moaning_lisa)[the telltale head](/wiki/the_telltale_head)[simpsons roasting on an open fire](/wiki/simpsons_roasting_on_an_open_fire)[the call of the simpsons](/wiki/the_call_of_the_simpsons)[homers night out](/wiki/homer%27s_night_out)[life on the fast lane](/wiki/life_on_the_fast_lane)[krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted)[the crepes of wrath](/wiki/the_crepes_of_wrath)7f - season 2
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
7f01 | 14 - 204 | november 1, 1990 |
|
[simpson and delilah](/wiki/simpson_and_delilah)[bart gets an f](/wiki/bart_gets_an_%22f%22)[treehouse of horror](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror)[dancin homer](/wiki/dancin%27_homer)[bart the daredevil](/wiki/bart_the_daredevil)[bart vs. Thanksgiving](/wiki/bart_vs._thanksgiving)[dead putting society](/wiki/dead_putting_society)[itchy & scratchy & marge](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_marge)[bart gets hit by a car](/wiki/bart_gets_hit_by_a_car)[one fish, two fish, blowfish, blue fish](/wiki/one_fish,_two_fish,_blowfish,_blue_fish)[the way we was](/wiki/the_way_we_was)[homer vs. Lisa and the 8th commandment](/wiki/homer_vs._lisa_and_the_8th_commandment)[barts dog gets an f](/wiki/bart%27s_dog_gets_an_f)[principal charming](/wiki/principal_charming)[oh brother, where art thou?](/Wiki/oh_brother,_where_art_thou%3f)[old money](/wiki/old_money)[brush with greatness](/wiki/brush_with_greatness)[lisas substitute](/wiki/lisa%27s_substitute)[the war of the simpsons](/wiki/the_war_of_the_simpsons)[three men and a comic book](/wiki/three_men_and_a_comic_book)[blood feud](/wiki/blood_feud)[when flanders failed](/wiki/when_flanders_failed)[stark raving dad](/wiki/stark_raving_dad)8f - season 3
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
8f01 | 38 - 302 | september 26, 1991 |
|
[treehouse of horror ii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_ii)[bart the murderer](/wiki/bart_the_murderer)[homer defined](/wiki/homer_defined)[like father, like clown](/wiki/like_father,_like_clown)[lisas pony](/wiki/lisa%27s_pony)[saturdays of thunder](/wiki/saturdays_of_thunder)[flaming moes](/wiki/flaming_moe%27s)[burns verkaufen der kraftwerk](/wiki/burns_verkaufen_der_kraftwerk)[i married marge](/wiki/i_married_marge)[radio bart](/wiki/radio_bart)[lisa the greek](/wiki/lisa_the_greek)[homer at the bat](/wiki/homer_at_the_bat)[homer alone](/wiki/homer_alone)[separate vocations](/wiki/separate_vocations)[bart the lover](/wiki/bart_the_lover)[dog of death](/wiki/dog_of_death)[a streetcar named marge](/wiki/a_streetcar_named_marge)[colonel homer](/wiki/colonel_homer)[black widower](/wiki/black_widower)[the otto show](/wiki/the_otto_show)[barts friend falls in love](/wiki/bart%27s_friend_falls_in_love)[brother, can you spare two dimes?](/Wiki/brother,_can_you_spare_two_dimes%3f)[kamp krusty](/wiki/kamp_krusty)9f - season 4
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
9f01 | 62 - 403 | october 8, 1992 |
|
[lisa the beauty queen](/wiki/lisa_the_beauty_queen)[itchy & scratchy: the movie](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy:_the_movie)[treehouse of horror iii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iii)[marge gets a job](/wiki/marge_gets_a_job)[new kid on the block](/wiki/new_kid_on_the_block)[mr. Plow](/wiki/mr._plow)[lisas first word](/wiki/lisa%27s_first_word)[homers triple bypass](/wiki/homer%27s_triple_bypass)[marge vs. The monorail](/wiki/marge_vs._the_monorail)[selmas choice](/wiki/selma%27s_choice)[brother from the same planet](/wiki/brother_from_the_same_planet)[i love lisa](/wiki/i_love_lisa)[duffless](/wiki/duffless)[last exit to springfield](/wiki/last_exit_to_springfield)[the front](/wiki/the_front)[so its come to this: a simpsons clip show](/wiki/so_it%27s_come_to_this:_a_simpsons_clip_show)[whacking day](/wiki/whacking_day)[krusty gets kancelled](/wiki/krusty_gets_kancelled)[marge in chains](/wiki/marge_in_chains)[homers barbershop quartet](/wiki/homer%27s_barbershop_quartet)[cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare)1f - season 5
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
1f01 | 84 - 504 | october 21, 1993 |
|
[homer goes to college](/wiki/homer_goes_to_college)[marge on the lam](/wiki/marge_on_the_lam)[treehouse of horror iv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_iv)[barts inner child](/wiki/bart%27s_inner_child)[boy-scoutz n the hood](/wiki/boy-scoutz_%27n_the_hood)[the last temptation of homer](/wiki/the_last_temptation_of_homer)[$pringfield (or, how i learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling)](/wiki/$pringfield_(or,_how_i_learned_to_stop_worrying_and_love_legalized_gambling))[homer the vigilante](/wiki/homer_the_vigilante)[homer and apu](/wiki/homer_and_apu)[bart gets famous](/wiki/bart_gets_famous)[lisa vs. Malibu stacy](/wiki/lisa_vs._malibu_stacy)[deep space homer](/wiki/deep_space_homer)[homer loves flanders](/wiki/homer_loves_flanders)[bart gets an elephant](/wiki/bart_gets_an_elephant)[burns heir](/wiki/burns%27_heir)[lisas rival](/wiki/lisa%27s_rival)[sweet seymour skinners baadasssss song](/wiki/sweet_seymour_skinner%27s_baadasssss_song)[the boy who knew too much](/wiki/the_boy_who_knew_too_much)[secrets of a successful marriage](/wiki/secrets_of_a_successful_marriage)[lady bouviers lover](/wiki/lady_bouvier%27s_lover)[bart of darkness](/wiki/bart_of_darkness)2f - season 6
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
2f01 | 106 - 604 | october 2, 1994 |
|
[sideshow bob roberts](/wiki/sideshow_bob_roberts)[treehouse of horror v](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_v)[barts girlfriend](/wiki/bart%27s_girlfriend)[lisa on ice](/wiki/lisa_on_ice)[homer badman](/wiki/homer_badman)[grampa vs. Sexual inadequacy](/wiki/grampa_vs._sexual_inadequacy)[fear of flying](/wiki/fear_of_flying)[homer the great](/wiki/homer_the_great)[and maggie makes three](/wiki/and_maggie_makes_three)[barts comet](/wiki/bart%27s_comet)[homie the clown](/wiki/homie_the_clown)[bart vs. Australia](/wiki/bart_vs._australia)[homer vs. Patty and selma](/wiki/homer_vs._patty_and_selma)[lisas wedding](/wiki/lisa%27s_wedding)[who shot mr. Burns? (Part one)](/wiki/who_shot_mr._burns%3f_(part_one))[radioactive man](/wiki/radioactive_man)[two dozen and one greyhounds](/wiki/two_dozen_and_one_greyhounds)[the pta disbands](/wiki/the_pta_disbands)[who shot mr. Burns? (Part two)](/wiki/who_shot_mr._burns%3f_(part_two))[the springfield connection](/wiki/the_springfield_connection)[lemon of troy](/wiki/lemon_of_troy)[a star is burns](/wiki/a_star_is_burns)[round springfield](/wiki/%27round_springfield)[another simpsons clip show](/wiki/another_simpsons_clip_show)3f/3g - season 7
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
3f01 | 131 - 703 | october 1, 1995 |
|
[bart sells his soul](/wiki/bart_sells_his_soul)[lisa the vegetarian](/wiki/lisa_the_vegetarian)[treehouse of horror vi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_vi)[king-size homer](/wiki/king-size_homer)[mother simpson](/wiki/mother_simpson)[marge be not proud](/wiki/marge_be_not_proud)[sideshow bobs last gleaming](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming)[two bad neighbors](/wiki/two_bad_neighbors)[team homer](/wiki/team_homer)[scenes from the class struggle in springfield](/wiki/scenes_from_the_class_struggle_in_springfield)[bart the fink](/wiki/bart_the_fink)[lisa the iconoclast](/wiki/lisa_the_iconoclast)[homer the smithers](/wiki/homer_the_smithers)[a fish called selma](/wiki/a_fish_called_selma)[the day the violence died](/wiki/the_day_the_violence_died)[bart on the road](/wiki/bart_on_the_road)[22 short films about springfield](/wiki/22_short_films_about_springfield)[raging abe simpson and his grumbling grandson in the curse of the flying hellfish](/wiki/raging_abe_simpson_and_his_grumbling_grandson_in_%22the_curse_of_the_flying_hellfish%22)[much apu about nothing](/wiki/much_apu_about_nothing)[homerpalooza](/wiki/homerpalooza)[summer of 4 ft. 2](/wiki/summer_of_4_ft._2)[you only move twice](/wiki/you_only_move_twice)[el viaje misterioso de nuestro jomer (the mysterious voyage of homer)](/wiki/el_viaje_misterioso_de_nuestro_jomer_(the_mysterious_voyage_of_homer))[the simpsons 138th episode spectacular](/wiki/the_simpsons_138th_episode_spectacular)[the springfield files](/wiki/the_springfield_files)[lisas sax](/wiki/lisa%27s_sax)[simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious](/wiki/simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed_grunt)cious)[simpson tide](/wiki/simpson_tide)4f - season 8
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
4f01 | 160 - 807 | december 15, 1996 |
|
[treehouse of horror vii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_vii)[the homer they fall](/wiki/the_homer_they_fall)[a milhouse divided](/wiki/a_milhouse_divided)[burns, baby burns](/wiki/burns,_baby_burns)[bart after dark](/wiki/bart_after_dark)[hurricane neddy](/wiki/hurricane_neddy)[the twisted world of marge simpson](/wiki/the_twisted_world_of_marge_simpson)[grade school confidential](/wiki/grade_school_confidential)[mountain of madness](/wiki/mountain_of_madness)[homers phobia](/wiki/homer%27s_phobia)[the itchy & scratchy & poochie show](/wiki/the_itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_poochie_show)[my sister, my sitter](/wiki/my_sister,_my_sitter)[brother from another series](/wiki/brother_from_another_series)[homer vs. The eighteenth amendment](/wiki/homer_vs._the_eighteenth_amendment)[the canine mutiny](/wiki/the_canine_mutiny)[the old man and the lisa](/wiki/the_old_man_and_the_lisa)[in marge we trust](/wiki/in_marge_we_trust)[homers enemy](/wiki/homer%27s_enemy)[the simpsons spin-off showcase](/wiki/the_simpsons_spin-off_showcase)[the secret war of lisa simpson](/wiki/the_secret_war_of_lisa_simpson)[the city of new york vs. Homer simpson](/wiki/the_city_of_new_york_vs._homer_simpson)[the principal and the pauper](/wiki/the_principal_and_the_pauper)[lisa the simpson](/wiki/lisa_the_simpson)5f - season 9
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
5f01 | 184 - 905 | november 2, 1997 |
|
[treehouse of horror viii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_viii)[bart star](/wiki/bart_star)[the two mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons](/wiki/the_two_mrs._nahasapeemapetilons)[lisa the skeptic](/wiki/lisa_the_skeptic)[realty bites](/wiki/realty_bites)[miracle on evergreen terrace](/wiki/miracle_on_evergreen_terrace)[bart carny](/wiki/bart_carny)[trash of the titans](/wiki/trash_of_the_titans)[the last temptation of krust](/wiki/the_last_temptation_of_krust)[das bus](/wiki/das_bus)[dumbbell indemnity](/wiki/dumbbell_indemnity)[this little wiggy](/wiki/this_little_wiggy)[the trouble with trillions](/wiki/the_trouble_with_trillions)[girly edition](/wiki/girly_edition)[king of the hill](/wiki/king_of_the_hill)[lost our lisa](/wiki/lost_our_lisa)[natural born kissers](/wiki/natural_born_kissers)[when you dish upon a star](/wiki/when_you_dish_upon_a_star)[lard of the dance](/wiki/lard_of_the_dance)[the wizard of evergreen terrace](/wiki/the_wizard_of_evergreen_terrace)[bart the mother](/wiki/bart_the_mother)[the joy of sect](/wiki/the_joy_of_sect)[all singing, all dancing](/wiki/all_singing,_all_dancing)aabf - season 10
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
aabf01 | 208 - 1004 | october 25, 1998 |
|
[doh-in in the wind](/wiki/d%27oh-in%27_in_the_wind)[lisa gets an a](/wiki/lisa_gets_an_%22a%22)[homer simpson in: kidney trouble](/wiki/homer_simpson_in:_%22kidney_trouble%22)[mayored to the mob](/wiki/mayored_to_the_mob)[viva ned flanders](/wiki/viva_ned_flanders)[wild barts cant be broken](/wiki/wild_barts_can%27t_be_broken)[sunday, cruddy sunday](/wiki/sunday,_cruddy_sunday)[homer to the max](/wiki/homer_to_the_max)[marge simpson in: screaming yellow honkers](/wiki/marge_simpson_in:_%22screaming_yellow_honkers%22)[im with cupid](/wiki/i%27m_with_cupid)[make room for lisa](/wiki/make_room_for_lisa)[maximum homerdrive](/wiki/maximum_homerdrive)[simpsons bible stories](/wiki/simpsons_bible_stories)[mom and pop art](/wiki/mom_and_pop_art)[the old man and the c student](/wiki/the_old_man_and_the_%22c%22_student)[monty cant buy me love](/wiki/monty_can%27t_buy_me_love)[they saved lisas brain](/wiki/they_saved_lisa%27s_brain)[e-i-e-i-doh](/wiki/e-i-e-i-d%27oh)[thirty minutes over tokyo](/wiki/thirty_minutes_over_tokyo)[guess whos coming to criticize dinner?](/Wiki/guess_who%27s_coming_to_criticize_dinner%3f)[brothers little helper](/wiki/brother%27s_little_helper)[beyond blunderdome](/wiki/beyond_blunderdome)babf - season 11
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
babf01 | 231 - 1104 | october 31, 1999 |
|
[hello gutter, hello fadder](/wiki/hello_gutter,_hello_fadder)[eight misbehavin](/wiki/eight_misbehavin%27)[little big mom](/wiki/little_big_mom)[take my wife, sleaze](/wiki/take_my_wife,_sleaze)[faith off](/wiki/faith_off)[grift of the magi](/wiki/grift_of_the_magi)[the mansion family](/wiki/the_mansion_family)[saddlesore galactica](/wiki/saddlesore_galactica)[alone again, natura-diddily](/wiki/alone_again,_natura-diddily)[missionary: impossible](/wiki/missionary:_impossible)[pygmoelian](/wiki/pygmoelian)[bart to the future](/wiki/bart_to_the_future)[days of wine and dohses](/wiki/days_of_wine_and_d%27oh%27ses)[last tap dance in springfield](/wiki/last_tap_dance_in_springfield)[kill the alligator and run](/wiki/kill_the_alligator_and_run)[insane clown poppy](/wiki/insane_clown_poppy)[its a mad, mad, mad, mad marge](/wiki/it%27s_a_mad,_mad,_mad,_mad_marge)[behind the laughter](/wiki/behind_the_laughter)[a tale of two springfields](/wiki/a_tale_of_two_springfields)[treehouse of horror xi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xi)[hom?](/Wiki/hom%d0%af)cabf - season 12
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
cabf01 | 253 - 1204 | november 19, 2000 |
|
[the computer wore menace shoes](/wiki/the_computer_wore_menace_shoes)[the great money caper](/wiki/the_great_money_caper)[homer vs. Dignity](/wiki/homer_vs._dignity)[pokey mom](/wiki/pokey_mom)[skinners sense of snow](/wiki/skinner%27s_sense_of_snow)[tennis the menace](/wiki/tennis_the_menace)[worst episode ever](/wiki/worst_episode_ever)[hungry, hungry homer](/wiki/hungry,_hungry_homer)[day of the jackanapes](/wiki/day_of_the_jackanapes)[bye bye nerdie](/wiki/bye_bye_nerdie)[new kids on the blecch](/wiki/new_kids_on_the_blecch)[simpson safari](/wiki/simpson_safari)[trilogy of error](/wiki/trilogy_of_error)[im goin to praiseland](/wiki/i%27m_goin%27_to_praiseland)[children of a lesser clod](/wiki/children_of_a_lesser_clod)[simpsons tall tales](/wiki/simpsons_tall_tales)[a hunka hunka burns in love](/wiki/a_hunka_hunka_burns_in_love)[treehouse of horror xii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xii)[homer the moe](/wiki/homer_the_moe)[the blunder years](/wiki/the_blunder_years)[the parent rap](/wiki/the_parent_rap)dabf - season 13
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
dabf01 | 275 - 1307 | january 6, 2002 |
|
[she of little faith](/wiki/she_of_little_faith)[sweets and sour marge](/wiki/sweets_and_sour_marge)[half-decent proposal](/wiki/half-decent_proposal)[jaws wired shut](/wiki/jaws_wired_shut)[the bart wants what it wants](/wiki/the_bart_wants_what_it_wants)[the lastest gun in the west](/wiki/the_lastest_gun_in_the_west)[tales from the public domain](/wiki/tales_from_the_public_domain)[the old man and the key](/wiki/the_old_man_and_the_key)[blame it on lisa](/wiki/blame_it_on_lisa)[weekend at burnsies](/wiki/weekend_at_burnsie%27s)[gump roast](/wiki/gump_roast)[i am furious (yellow)](/wiki/i_am_furious_(yellow))[the sweetest apu](/wiki/the_sweetest_apu)[little girl in the big ten](/wiki/little_girl_in_the_big_ten)[the frying game](/wiki/the_frying_game)[poppas got a brand new badge](/wiki/poppa%27s_got_a_brand_new_badge)[large marge](/wiki/large_marge)[treehouse of horror xiii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xiii)[bart vs. Lisa vs. The third grade](/wiki/bart_vs._lisa_vs._the_third_grade)[helter shelter](/wiki/helter_shelter)[how i spent my strummer vacation](/wiki/how_i_spent_my_strummer_vacation)eabf - season 14
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
eabf01 | 297 - 1406 | december 15, 2002 |
|
[special edna](/wiki/special_edna)[the dad who knew too little](/wiki/the_dad_who_knew_too_little)[the strong arms of the ma](/wiki/the_strong_arms_of_the_ma)[barting over](/wiki/barting_over)[pray anything](/wiki/pray_anything)[im spelling as fast as i can](/wiki/i%27m_spelling_as_fast_as_i_can)[a star is born-again](/wiki/a_star_is_born-again)[mr. Spritz goes to washington](/wiki/mr._spritz_goes_to_washington)[c.E. Doh](/wiki/c.E._d%27oh)[scuse me while i miss the sky](/wiki/%27scuse_me_while_i_miss_the_sky)[three gays of the condo](/wiki/three_gays_of_the_condo)[dude, wheres my ranch?](/Wiki/dude,_where%27s_my_ranch%3f)[old yeller-belly](/wiki/old_yeller-belly)[brake my wife, please](/wiki/brake_my_wife,_please)[the bart of war](/wiki/the_bart_of_war)[moe baby blues](/wiki/moe_baby_blues)[my mother the carjacker](/wiki/my_mother_the_carjacker)[the fat and the furriest](/wiki/the_fat_and_the_furriest)[the president wore pearls](/wiki/the_president_wore_pearls)[treehouse of horror xiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xiv)[the regina monologues](/wiki/the_regina_monologues)fabf - season 15
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
fabf01 | 319 - 1506 | december 7, 2003 |
|
[tis the fifteenth season](/wiki/%27tis_the_fifteenth_season)[marge vs. Singles, seniors, childless couples and teens and gays](/wiki/marge_vs._singles,_seniors,_childless_couples_and_teens_and_gays)[i, (annoyed grunt)-bot](/wiki/i,_(annoyed_grunt)-bot)[diatribe of a mad housewife](/wiki/diatribe_of_a_mad_housewife)[margical history tour](/wiki/margical_history_tour)[milhouse doesnt live here anymore](/wiki/milhouse_doesn%27t_live_here_anymore)[the ziff who came to dinner](/wiki/the_ziff_who_came_to_dinner)[smart and smarter](/wiki/smart_and_smarter)[co-dependents day](/wiki/co-dependent%27s_day)[the wandering juvie](/wiki/the_wandering_juvie)[my big fat geek wedding](/wiki/my_big_fat_geek_wedding)[the way we werent](/wiki/the_way_we_weren%27t)[catch em if you can](/wiki/catch_%27em_if_you_can)[simple simpson](/wiki/simple_simpson)[midnight rx](/wiki/midnight_rx)[bart-mangled banner](/wiki/bart-mangled_banner)[fraudcast news](/wiki/fraudcast_news)[sleeping with the enemy](/wiki/sleeping_with_the_enemy)[alls fair in oven war](/wiki/all%27s_fair_in_oven_war)[fat man and little boy](/wiki/fat_man_and_little_boy)[she used to be my girl](/wiki/she_used_to_be_my_girl)[treehouse of horror xv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xv)gabf - season 16
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
gabf01 | 342 - 1607 | january 30, 2005 |
|
[homer and neds hail mary pass](/wiki/homer_and_ned%27s_hail_mary_pass)[pranksta rap](/wiki/pranksta_rap)[theres something about marrying](/wiki/there%27s_something_about_marrying)[on a clear day i cant see my sister](/wiki/on_a_clear_day_i_can%27t_see_my_sister)[goo goo gai pan](/wiki/goo_goo_gai_pan)[mobile homer](/wiki/mobile_homer)[the seven-beer snitch](/wiki/the_seven-beer_snitch)[the father, the son and the holy guest star](/wiki/the_father,_the_son_and_the_holy_guest_star)[dont fear the roofer](/wiki/don%27t_fear_the_roofer)[the heartbroke kid](/wiki/the_heartbroke_kid)[future-drama](/wiki/future-drama)[a star is torn](/wiki/a_star_is_torn)[thank god its doomsday](/wiki/thank_god_it%27s_doomsday)[home away from homer](/wiki/home_away_from_homer)[the girl who slept too little](/wiki/the_girl_who_slept_too_little)[treehouse of horror xvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xvi)[the bonfire of the manatees](/wiki/the_bonfire_of_the_manatees)[milhouse of sand and fog](/wiki/milhouse_of_sand_and_fog)[marges son poisoning](/wiki/marge%27s_son_poisoning)[see homer run](/wiki/see_homer_run)[the last of the red hat mamas](/wiki/the_last_of_the_red_hat_mamas)habf - season 17
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
habf01 | 364 - 1709 | december 18, 2005 |
|
[the italian bob](/wiki/the_italian_bob)[homers paternity coot](/wiki/homer%27s_paternity_coot)[were on the road to doh-where](/wiki/we%27re_on_the_road_to_d%27oh-where)[my fair laddy](/wiki/my_fair_laddy)[the seemingly never-ending story](/wiki/the_seemingly_never-ending_story)[bart has two mommies](/wiki/bart_has_two_mommies)[homer simpson, this is your wife](/wiki/homer_simpson,_this_is_your_wife)[million-dollar abie](/wiki/million-dollar_abie)[kiss kiss bang bangalore](/wiki/kiss_kiss_bang_bangalore)[the wettest stories ever told](/wiki/the_wettest_stories_ever_told)[girls just want to have sums](/wiki/girls_just_want_to_have_sums)[regarding margie](/wiki/regarding_margie)[the monkey suit](/wiki/the_monkey_suit)[the mook, the chef, the wife and her homer](/wiki/the_mook,_the_chef,_the_wife_and_her_homer)[marge and homer turn a couple play](/wiki/marge_and_homer_turn_a_couple_play)[treehouse of horror xvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xvii)[jazzy and the pussycats](/wiki/jazzy_and_the_pussycats)[moena lisa](/wiki/moe%27n%27a_lisa)[please homer, dont hammer em](/wiki/please_homer,_don%27t_hammer_%27em)[g.I. (Annoyed grunt)](/wiki/g.I._(annoyed_grunt))[ice cream of margie (with the light blue hair)](/wiki/ice_cream_of_margie_(with_the_light_blue_hair))jabf - season 18
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
jabf01 | 388 - 1809 | december 17, 2006 |
|
[the haw-hawed couple](/wiki/the_haw-hawed_couple)[the wife aquatic](/wiki/the_wife_aquatic)[little big girl](/wiki/little_big_girl)[revenge is a dish best served three times](/wiki/revenge_is_a_dish_best_served_three_times)[homerazzi](/wiki/homerazzi)[springfield up](/wiki/springfield_up)[rome-old and julie-eh](/wiki/rome-old_and_julie-eh)[yokel chords](/wiki/yokel_chords)[marge gamer](/wiki/marge_gamer)[the boys of bummer](/wiki/the_boys_of_bummer)[stop or my dog will shoot!](/Wiki/stop_or_my_dog_will_shoot!)[Crook and ladder](/wiki/crook_and_ladder)[24 minutes](/wiki/24_minutes)[you kent always say what you want](/wiki/you_kent_always_say_what_you_want)[treehouse of horror xviii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xviii)[husbands and knives](/wiki/husbands_and_knives)[the homer of seville](/wiki/the_homer_of_seville)[i dont wanna know why the caged bird sings](/wiki/i_don%27t_wanna_know_why_the_caged_bird_sings)[he loves to fly and he dohs](/wiki/he_loves_to_fly_and_he_d%27ohs)[midnight towboy](/wiki/midnight_towboy)[little orphan millie](/wiki/little_orphan_millie)kabf - season 19
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
kabf01 | 408 - 1908 | november 25, 2007 |
|
[eternal moonshine of the simpson mind](/wiki/eternal_moonshine_of_the_simpson_mind)[e. Pluribus wiggum](/wiki/e._pluribus_wiggum)[that 90s show](/wiki/that_%2790s_show)[love, springfieldian style](/wiki/love,_springfieldian_style)[the debarted](/wiki/the_debarted)[dial n for nerder](/wiki/dial_%22n%22_for_nerder)[smoke on the daughter](/wiki/smoke_on_the_daughter)[papa dont leech](/wiki/papa_don%27t_leech)[apocalypse cow](/wiki/apocalypse_cow)[any given sundance](/wiki/any_given_sundance)[mona leaves-a](/wiki/mona_leaves-a)[all about lisa](/wiki/all_about_lisa)[double, double, boy in trouble](/wiki/double,_double,_boy_in_trouble)[lost verizon](/wiki/lost_verizon)[treehouse of horror xix](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xix)[sex, pies, and idiot scrapes](/wiki/sex,_pies,_and_idiot_scrapes)[dangerous curves](/wiki/dangerous_curves)[homer and lisa exchange cross words](/wiki/homer_and_lisa_exchange_cross_words)[mypods and boomsticks](/wiki/mypods_and_boomsticks)[the burns and the bees](/wiki/the_burns_and_the_bees)[lisa the drama queen](/wiki/lisa_the_drama_queen)labf - season 20
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
labf01 | 430 - 2010 | february 15, 2009 |
|
[how the test was won](/wiki/how_the_test_was_won)[no loan again, naturally](/wiki/no_loan_again,_naturally)[gone maggie gone](/wiki/gone_maggie_gone)[wedding for disaster](/wiki/wedding_for_disaster)[eeny teeny maya, moe](/wiki/eeny_teeny_maya,_moe)[the good, the sad and the drugly](/wiki/the_good,_the_sad_and_the_drugly)[father knows worst](/wiki/father_knows_worst)[four great women and a manicure](/wiki/four_great_women_and_a_manicure)[waverly hills, 9-0-2-1-doh](/wiki/waverly_hills,_9-0-2-1-d%27oh)[in the name of the grandfather](/wiki/in_the_name_of_the_grandfather)[coming to homerica](/wiki/coming_to_homerica)[homer the whopper](/wiki/homer_the_whopper)[treehouse of horror xx](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xx)[bart gets a z](/wiki/bart_gets_a_%22z%22)[the great wife hope](/wiki/the_great_wife_hope)[the devil wears nada](/wiki/the_devil_wears_nada)[pranks and greens](/wiki/pranks_and_greens)[rednecks and broomsticks](/wiki/rednecks_and_broomsticks)[once upon a time in springfield](/wiki/once_upon_a_time_in_springfield)[the simpsons 20th anniversary special – in 3-d! On ice!](/Wiki/the_simpsons_20th_anniversary_special_%e2%80%93_in_3-d!_on_ice!)Mabf - [season 21](/wiki/season_21)
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
mabf01 | 450 - 2108 | december 13, 2009 |
|
[thursdays with abie](/wiki/thursdays_with_abie)[million dollar maybe](/wiki/million_dollar_maybe)[postcards from the wedge](/wiki/postcards_from_the_wedge)[boy meets curl](/wiki/boy_meets_curl)[the color yellow](/wiki/the_color_yellow)[stealing first base](/wiki/stealing_first_base)[american history x-cellent](/wiki/american_history_x-cellent)[chief of hearts](/wiki/chief_of_hearts)[the greatest story ever dohed](/wiki/the_greatest_story_ever_d%27ohed)[the bob next door](/wiki/the_bob_next_door)[to surveil with love](/wiki/to_surveil_with_love)[moe letter blues](/wiki/moe_letter_blues)[the squirt and the whale](/wiki/the_squirt_and_the_whale)[judge me tender](/wiki/judge_me_tender)[treehouse of horror xxi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxi)[loan-a lisa](/wiki/loan-a_lisa)[moneybart](/wiki/moneybart)[donnie fatso](/wiki/donnie_fatso)[lisa simpson, this isnt your life](/wiki/lisa_simpson,_this_isn%27t_your_life)[elementary school musical](/wiki/elementary_school_musical)[the fight before christmas](/wiki/the_fight_before_christmas)nabf - season 22
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
nabf01 | 472 - 2206 | november 21. 2010 |
|
[how munched is that birdie in the window?](/Wiki/how_munched_is_that_birdie_in_the_window%3f)[moms id like to forget](/wiki/moms_i%27d_like_to_forget)[flaming moe](/wiki/flaming_moe)[homer the father](/wiki/homer_the_father)[the blue and the gray](/wiki/the_blue_and_the_gray)[angry dad: the movie](/wiki/angry_dad:_the_movie)[the scorpions tale](/wiki/the_scorpion%27s_tale)[a midsummers nice dream](/wiki/a_midsummer%27s_nice_dream)[love is a many strangled thing](/wiki/love_is_a_many_strangled_thing)[the great simpsina](/wiki/the_great_simpsina)[the real housewives of fat tony](/wiki/the_real_housewives_of_fat_tony)[homer scissorhands](/wiki/homer_scissorhands)[500 keys](/wiki/500_keys)[the ned-liest catch](/wiki/the_ned-liest_catch)[the falcon and the dohman](/wiki/the_falcon_and_the_d%27ohman)[bart stops to smell the roosevelts](/wiki/bart_stops_to_smell_the_roosevelts)[holidays of future passed](/wiki/holidays_of_future_passed)[treehouse of horror xxii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxii)[the food wife](/wiki/the_food_wife)[replaceable you](/wiki/replaceable_you)[the book job](/wiki/the_book_job)pabf - season 23
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
pabf01 | 494 - 2307 | november 27, 2011 |
|
[the ten-per-cent solution](/wiki/the_ten-per-cent_solution)[politically inept, with homer simpson](/wiki/politically_inept,_with_homer_simpson)[the doh-cial network](/wiki/the_d%27oh-cial_network)[moe goes from rags to riches](/wiki/moe_goes_from_rags_to_riches)[the daughter also rises](/wiki/the_daughter_also_rises)[at long last leave](/wiki/at_long_last_leave)[how i wet your mother](/wiki/how_i_wet_your_mother)[exit through the kwik-e-mart](/wiki/exit_through_the_kwik-e-mart)[them, robot](/wiki/them,_robot)[beware my cheating bart](/wiki/beware_my_cheating_bart)[a totally fun thing that bart will never do again](/wiki/a_totally_fun_thing_that_bart_will_never_do_again)[the spy who learned me](/wiki/the_spy_who_learned_me)[lisa goes gaga](/wiki/lisa_goes_gaga)[ned n ednas blend](/wiki/ned_%27n_edna%27s_blend)[gone abie gone](/wiki/gone_abie_gone)[treehouse of horror xxiii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxiii)[adventures in baby-getting](/wiki/adventures_in_baby-getting)[penny-wiseguys](/wiki/penny-wiseguys)[the day the earth stood cool](/wiki/the_day_the_earth_stood_cool)[moonshine river](/wiki/moonshine_river)[a tree grows in springfield](/wiki/a_tree_grows_in_springfield)rabf - [season 24](/wiki/season_24)
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
rabf01 | 516 - 2408 | december 16, 2012 |
|
[homer goes to prep school](/wiki/homer_goes_to_prep_school)[a test before trying](/wiki/a_test_before_trying)[changing of the guardian](/wiki/changing_of_the_guardian)[hardly kirk-ing](/wiki/hardly_kirk-ing)[gorgeous grampa](/wiki/gorgeous_grampa)[love is a many-splintered thing](/wiki/love_is_a_many-splintered_thing)[what animated women want](/wiki/what_animated_women_want)[black-eyed, please](/wiki/black-eyed,_please)[dark knight court](/wiki/dark_knight_court)[pulpit friction](/wiki/pulpit_friction)[whiskey business](/wiki/whiskey_business)[the fabulous faker boy](/wiki/the_fabulous_faker_boy)[the saga of carl](/wiki/the_saga_of_carl)[the man who came to be dinner](/wiki/the_man_who_came_to_be_dinner)[treehouse of horror xxiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxiv)[dangers on a train](/wiki/dangers_on_a_train)[four regrettings and a funeral](/wiki/four_regrettings_and_a_funeral)[labor pains](/wiki/labor_pains)[homerland](/wiki/homerland)[brick like me](/wiki/brick_like_me)[yolo](/wiki/yolo)sabf - season 25
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
sabf01 | 538 - 2508 | december 15, 2013 |
|
[the kid is all right](/wiki/the_kid_is_all_right)[married to the blob](/wiki/married_to_the_blob)[yellow subterfuge](/wiki/yellow_subterfuge)[steal this episode](/wiki/steal_this_episode)[specs and the city](/wiki/specs_and_the_city)[the man who grew too much](/wiki/the_man_who_grew_too_much)[diggs](/wiki/diggs)[the winter of his content](/wiki/the_winter_of_his_content)[the war of art](/wiki/the_war_of_art)[you dont have to live like a referee](/wiki/you_don%27t_have_to_live_like_a_referee)[luca$](/wiki/luca$)[days of future future](/wiki/days_of_future_future)[what to expect when barts expecting](/wiki/what_to_expect_when_bart%27s_expecting)[pay pal](/wiki/pay_pal)[simpsorama](/wiki/simpsorama)[the wreck of the relationship](/wiki/the_wreck_of_the_relationship)[the yellow badge of cowardge](/wiki/the_yellow_badge_of_cowardge)[super franchise me](/wiki/super_franchise_me)[clown in the dumps](/wiki/clown_in_the_dumps)[treehouse of horror xxv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxv)[opposites a-frack](/wiki/opposites_a-frack)tabf - season 26
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
tabf01 | 560 - 2607 | november 16, 2014 |
|
[covercraft](/wiki/covercraft)[i wont be home for christmas](/wiki/i_won%27t_be_home_for_christmas)[the musk who fell to earth](/wiki/the_musk_who_fell_to_earth)[barts new friend](/wiki/bart%27s_new_friend)[walking big & tall](/wiki/walking_big_%26_tall)[my fare lady](/wiki/my_fare_lady)[the princess guide](/wiki/the_princess_guide)[sky police](/wiki/sky_police)[waiting for duffman](/wiki/waiting_for_duffman)[peeping mom](/wiki/peeping_mom)[the kids are all fight](/wiki/the_kids_are_all_fight)[lets go fly a coot](/wiki/let%27s_go_fly_a_coot)[every mans dream](/wiki/every_man%27s_dream)[bull-e](/wiki/bull-e)[mathletes feat](/wiki/mathlete%27s_feat)[cue detective](/wiki/cue_detective)[treehouse of horror xxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvi)[puffless](/wiki/puffless)[lisa with an s](/wiki/lisa_with_an_%22s%22)[friend with benefit](/wiki/friend_with_benefit)[halloween of horror](/wiki/halloween_of_horror)vabf - season 27
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
vabf01 | 582 - 2708 | december 6, 2015 |
|
[barthood](/wiki/barthood)[the girl code](/wiki/the_girl_code)[teenage mutant milk-caused hurdles](/wiki/teenage_mutant_milk-caused_hurdles)[much apu about something](/wiki/much_apu_about_something)[gal of constant sorrow](/wiki/gal_of_constant_sorrow)[love is in the n2-o2-ar-co2-ne-he-ch4](/wiki/love_is_in_the_n2-o2-ar-co2-ne-he-ch4)[lisa the veterinarian](/wiki/lisa_the_veterinarian)[the marge-ian chronicles](/wiki/the_marge-ian_chronicles)[the burns cage](/wiki/the_burns_cage)[how lisa got her marge back](/wiki/how_lisa_got_her_marge_back)[fland canyon](/wiki/fland_canyon)[simprovised](/wiki/simprovised)[to courier with love](/wiki/to_courier_with_love)[orange is the new yellow](/wiki/orange_is_the_new_yellow)[treehouse of horror xxvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvii)[the town](/wiki/the_town)[friends and family](/wiki/friends_and_family)[havana wild weekend](/wiki/havana_wild_weekend)[monty burns fleeing circus](/wiki/monty_burns%27_fleeing_circus)[trust but clarify](/wiki/trust_but_clarify)[there will be buds](/wiki/there_will_be_buds)wabf - season 28
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
wabf01 | 604 - 2808 | november 20, 2016 |
|
[the nightmare after krustmas](/wiki/the_nightmare_after_krustmas)[the last traction hero](/wiki/the_last_traction_hero)[the great phatsby](/wiki/the_great_phatsby)[pork and burns](/wiki/pork_and_burns)[fatzcarraldo](/wiki/fatzcarraldo)[the cad and the hat](/wiki/the_cad_and_the_hat)[kamp krustier](/wiki/kamp_krustier)[22 for 30](/wiki/22_for_30)[a fathers watch](/wiki/a_father%27s_watch)[the caper chase](/wiki/the_caper_chase)[looking for mr. Goodbart](/wiki/looking_for_mr._goodbart)[moho house](/wiki/moho_house)[dogtown](/wiki/dogtown)[whistlers father](/wiki/whistler%27s_father)[the serfsons](/wiki/the_serfsons)[treehouse of horror xxviii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxviii)[grampy can ya hear me](/wiki/grampy_can_ya_hear_me)[the old blue mayor she aint what she used to be](/wiki/the_old_blue_mayor_she_ain%27t_what_she_used_to_be)[singin in the lane](/wiki/singin%27_in_the_lane)[springfield splendor](/wiki/springfield_splendor)xabf - season 29
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
xabf01 | 626 - 2908 | december 3, 2017 |
|
[gone boy](/wiki/gone_boy)[haw-haw land](/wiki/haw-haw_land)[frink gets testy](/wiki/frink_gets_testy)[3 scenes plus a tag from a marriage](/wiki/3_scenes_plus_a_tag_from_a_marriage)[homer is where the art isnt](/wiki/homer_is_where_the_art_isn%27t)[no good read goes unpunished](/wiki/no_good_read_goes_unpunished)[fears of a clown](/wiki/fears_of_a_clown)[forgive and regret](/wiki/forgive_and_regret)[king leer](/wiki/king_leer)[lisa gets the blues](/wiki/lisa_gets_the_blues)[left behind](/wiki/left_behind)[throw grampa from the dane](/wiki/throw_grampa_from_the_dane)[flanders ladder](/wiki/flanders%27_ladder)[heartbreak hotel](/wiki/heartbreak_hotel)[treehouse of horror xxix](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxix)[my way or the highway to heaven](/wiki/my_way_or_the_highway_to_heaven)[baby you cant drive my car](/wiki/baby_you_can%27t_drive_my_car)[barts not dead](/wiki/bart%27s_not_dead)[from russia without love](/wiki/from_russia_without_love)[werking mom](/wiki/werking_mom)[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown_(episode))yabf - season 30
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
yabf01 | 648 - 3009 | december 2, 2018 |
|
[tis the 30th season](/wiki/%27tis_the_30th_season)[mad about the toy](/wiki/mad_about_the_toy)[the girl on the bus](/wiki/the_girl_on_the_bus)[the clown stays in the picture](/wiki/the_clown_stays_in_the_picture)[im dancing as fat as i can](/wiki/i%27m_dancing_as_fat_as_i_can)[101 mitigations](/wiki/101_mitigations)[i want you (shes so heavy)](/wiki/i_want_you_(she%27s_so_heavy))[e my sports](/wiki/e_my_sports)[bart vs. Itchy & scratchy](/wiki/bart_vs._itchy_%26_scratchy)[girls in the band](/wiki/girl%27s_in_the_band)[im just a girl who cant say doh](/wiki/i%27m_just_a_girl_who_can%27t_say_d%27oh)[the incredible lightness of being a baby](/wiki/the_incredible_lightness_of_being_a_baby)[doh canada](/wiki/d%27oh_canada)[woo-hoo dunnit?](/Wiki/woo-hoo_dunnit%3f)[crystal blue-haired persuasion](/wiki/crystal_blue-haired_persuasion)[thanksgiving of horror](/wiki/thanksgiving_of_horror)[treehouse of horror xxx](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxx)[the winter of our monetized content](/wiki/the_winter_of_our_monetized_content)[gorillas on the mast](/wiki/gorillas_on_the_mast)[go big or go homer](/wiki/go_big_or_go_homer)[the fat blue line](/wiki/the_fat_blue_line)zabf - season 31
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
zabf01 | 670 - 3110 | december 15, 2019 |
|
[marge the lumberjill](/wiki/marge_the_lumberjill)[livin la pura vida](/wiki/livin%27_la_pura_vida)[todd, todd, why hast thou forsaken me](/wiki/todd,_todd,_why_hast_thou_forsaken_me)[hail to the teeth](/wiki/hail_to_the_teeth)[the miseducation of lisa simpson](/wiki/the_miseducation_of_lisa_simpson)[frinkcoin](/wiki/frinkcoin)[bart the bad guy](/wiki/bart_the_bad_guy)[screenless](/wiki/screenless)[highway to well](/wiki/highway_to_well)[better off ned](/wiki/better_off_ned_(episode))[warrin priests (part one)](/wiki/warrin%27_priests_(part_one))[warrin priests: part two](/wiki/warrin%27_priests:_part_two)[the hateful eight-year-olds](/wiki/the_hateful_eight-year-olds)[the 7 beer itch](/wiki/the_7_beer_itch)[the way of the dog](/wiki/the_way_of_the_dog)[treehouse of horror xxxi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxi)[i, carumbus](/wiki/i,_carumbus)[undercover burns](/wiki/undercover_burns)[the road to cincinnati](/wiki/the_road_to_cincinnati)[now museum, now you dont](/wiki/now_museum,_now_you_don%27t_(episode))[podcast news](/wiki/podcast_news)
qabf - season 32
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
qabf01 | 692 - 3209 | december 6, 2020 |
|
[three dreams denied](/wiki/three_dreams_denied)[a springfield summer christmas for christmas](/wiki/a_springfield_summer_christmas_for_christmas)[the dad-feelings limited](/wiki/the_dad-feelings_limited)[diary queen](/wiki/diary_queen)[wad goals](/wiki/wad_goals)[yokel hero](/wiki/yokel_hero)[do pizzabots dream of electric guitars?](/Wiki/do_pizzabots_dream_of_electric_guitars%3f)[manger things](/wiki/manger_things)[uncut femmes](/wiki/uncut_femmes)[burger kings](/wiki/burger_kings)[panic in the streets of springfield](/wiki/panic_in_the_streets_of_springfield)[the man from g.R.A.M.P.A.](/Wiki/the_man_from_g.R.A.M.P.A.)[Mother and child reunion](/wiki/mother_and_child_reunion)[the last barfighter](/wiki/the_last_barfighter)[treehouse of horror xxxii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxii)[the star of backstage](/wiki/the_star_of_backstage)[barts in jail!](/Wiki/bart%27s_in_jail!)[The wayz we were](/wiki/the_wayz_we_were)[lisas belly](/wiki/lisa%27s_belly)[a serious flanders (part one)](/wiki/a_serious_flanders_(part_one))[a serious flanders (part two)](/wiki/a_serious_flanders_(part_two))uabf - season 33
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
uabf01 | 714 - 3308 | november 21, 2021 |
|
[mothers and other strangers](/wiki/mothers_and_other_strangers)[a made maggie](/wiki/a_made_maggie)[pixelated and afraid](/wiki/pixelated_and_afraid)[the longest marge](/wiki/the_longest_marge)[boyz n the highlands](/wiki/boyz_n_the_highlands)[you wont believe what this episode is about - act three will shock you!](/Wiki/you_won%27t_believe_what_this_episode_is_about_-_act_three_will_shock_you!)[Bart the cool kid](/wiki/bart_the_cool_kid)[pretty whittle liar](/wiki/pretty_whittle_liar)[the sound of bleeding gums](/wiki/the_sound_of_bleeding_gums)[my octopus and a teacher](/wiki/my_octopus_and_a_teacher)[girls just shauna have fun](/wiki/girls_just_shauna_have_fun)[meat is murder](/wiki/meat_is_murder)[poorhouse rock](/wiki/poorhouse_rock)[marge the meanie](/wiki/marge_the_meanie)[habeas tortoise](/wiki/habeas_tortoise)[not it](/wiki/not_it)[treehouse of horror xxxiii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxiii)[one angry lisa](/wiki/one_angry_lisa)[the king of nice](/wiki/the_king_of_nice)[lisa the boy scout](/wiki/lisa_the_boy_scout)[step brother from the same planet](/wiki/step_brother_from_the_same_planet)oabf- season 34
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
---|---|---|---|
oabf01 | 736 - 3407 | november 13, 2022 |
|
[when nelson met lisa](/wiki/when_nelson_met_lisa)[game done changed](/wiki/game_done_changed)[top goon](/wiki/top_goon)[my life as a vlog](/wiki/my_life_as_a_vlog)[the many saints of springfield](/wiki/the_many_saints_of_springfield)[carl carlson rides again](/wiki/carl_carlson_rides_again)[bartless](/wiki/bartless)[hostile kirk place](/wiki/hostile_kirk_place)[pin gal](/wiki/pin_gal)[fan-ily feud](/wiki/fan-ily_feud)[write off this episode](/wiki/write_off_this_episode)[homers adventures through the windshield glass](/wiki/homer%27s_adventures_through_the_windshield_glass)[the very hungry caterpillars](/wiki/the_very_hungry_caterpillars)[clown v. Board of education](/wiki/clown_v._board_of_education)[a mid-childhood nights dream](/wiki/a_mid-childhood_night%27s_dream)[treehouse of horror xxxiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxiv)[homers crossing](/wiki/homer%27s_crossing)[its a blunderful life](/wiki/it%27s_a_blunderful_life)[mcmansion & wife](/wiki/mcmansion_%26_wife)[thirst trap: a corporate love story](/wiki/thirst_trap:_a_corporate_love_story)[iron marge](/wiki/iron_marge)35abf- season 35
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
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35abf01 | 758 - 3510 | december 24, 2023 |
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[ae bonny romance](/wiki/ae_bonny_romance)[frinkensteins monster](/wiki/frinkenstein%27s_monster)[murder, she boat](/wiki/murder,_she_boat)[lisa gets an f1](/wiki/lisa_gets_an_f1)[clan of the cave mom](/wiki/clan_of_the_cave_mom)[night of the living wage](/wiki/night_of_the_living_wage)[the yellow lotus](/wiki/the_yellow_lotus)[cremains of the day](/wiki/cremains_of_the_day)[the tell-tale pants](/wiki/the_tell-tale_pants)[the tipping point](/wiki/the_tipping_point)[barts brain](/wiki/bart%27s_brain)[treehouse of horror xxxv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxv)[treehouse of horror presents: simpsons wicked this way comes](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_presents:_simpsons_wicked_this_way_comes)[barts birthday](/wiki/bart%27s_birthday)[shoddy heat](/wiki/shoddy_heat)[women in shorts](/wiki/women_in_shorts)[desperately seeking lisa](/wiki/desperately_seeking_lisa)[the past and the furious](/wiki/the_past_and_the_furious)[yellow planet](/wiki/yellow_planet)[o cmon all ye faithful](/wiki/o_c%27mon_all_ye_faithful)36abf- season 36
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
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36abf01 | 780 - 3608 | december 8, 2024 |
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[the man who flew too much](/wiki/the_man_who_flew_too_much)[homer and her sisters](/wiki/homer_and_her_sisters)[bottle episode](/wiki/bottle_episode)[the flandshees of innersimpson](/wiki/the_flandshees_of_innersimpson)[the last man expanding](/wiki/the_last_man_expanding)[p.S. I hate you](/wiki/p.S._i_hate_you)[abe league of their moe](/wiki/abe_league_of_their_moe)[stew lies](/wiki/stew_lies)[full heart, empty pool](/wiki/full_heart,_empty_pool)[estranger things](/wiki/estranger_things)[men behaving manly](/wiki/men_behaving_manly)[keep chalm and gary on](/wiki/keep_chalm_and_gary_on)[treehouse of horror xxxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxvi)[bad boys... For life?](/Wiki/bad_boys..._for_life%3f)[extreme makeover: homer edition](/wiki/extreme_makeover:_homer_edition)[yellow mirror](/wiki/yellow_mirror)37abf- season 37
prod. Code | episode no. | Airdate | title |
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37abf01 | 802 - 37?? | 2025/2026 |
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| Sideshow Bob |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (4 reads) | |
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*bobs brother cecil and their father [[robert terwilliger sr.]] Were played by david hyde pierce and the late john mahoney respectively, echoing the roles they played on frasier as frasiers brother niles and their father martin. Additionally, the arguments between bob and cecil in [[brother from another series]] are a homage to the arguments between frasier and niles in frasier. |
*bobs brother cecil and their father [[robert terwilliger sr.]] Were played by david hyde pierce and the late john mahoney respectively, echoing the roles they played on frasier as frasiers brother niles and their father martin. Additionally, the arguments between bob and cecil in [[brother from another series]] are a homage to the arguments between frasier and niles in frasier. |
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*in [[the simpsons arcade (mobile)|the simpsons arcade]], he appears in stage 5 and helped the simpsons fight mr. Burns goons by giving them food which he was carrying in a food tray. |
*in [[the simpsons arcade (mobile)|the simpsons arcade]], he appears in stage 5 and helped the simpsons fight mr. Burns goons by giving them food which he was carrying in a food tray. |
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? | * Despite not appearing in [[the simpsons movie]], kelsey grammer voiced bob in a deleted scene that is still unreleased for unknown reasons. According to the deleted scene, bob is among the angry townspeople heading towards the simpson residence, yelling out his intent to kill bart. However, moe reveals to bob that the townspeople actually want to kill homer for polluting the lake and forcing the epa (led by [[russ cargill]]) to contain springfield inside a large glass dome, prompting bob to leave in disappointment. |
+ | * despite not appearing in [[the simpsons movie]], kelsey grammer voiced bob in a deleted scene that is still unreleased for unknown reasons. According to the deleted scene, bob is among the angry townspeople heading towards the simpson residence, yelling out his intent to kill bart. However, moe reveals to bob that the townspeople actually only want to kill homer for polluting the lake and forcing the epa (led by [[russ cargill]]) to contain springfield inside a large glass dome, prompting bob to leave in disappointment upon being informed about this. |
*[[treehouse of horror xxvi]] marks his first appearance in a treehouse of horror episode. |
*[[treehouse of horror xxvi]] marks his first appearance in a treehouse of horror episode. |
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*he is the featured character on the [[season 17]] dvd/blu-ray box set. |
*he is the featured character on the [[season 17]] dvd/blu-ray box set. |
latest revision as of 01:39, 5 july 2025
general |
“ | ahh! Sideshow bob! | „ |
~
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“ | hello,
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bart simpson.“ | No! Thats german... For the bart, the. | „ |
~ terwilliger, testifying in court |
dr. Robert underdunk bob terwilliger jr., More commonly recognized by his stage name, sideshow bob, is a recurring antagonist in the simpsons. He was originally krusty the clowns sidekick, after sideshow raheem and before sideshow mel, before starting a life of crime that began with an attempt to frame krusty for armed robbery. His plots later revolved primarily around bart simpson, a child who despite their significant differences in age and intellect had thwarted him on numerous occasions.
bob is a self-proclaimed genius, member of the republican party, champion of high culture, former childrens entertainer-turned-criminal mastermind. He loves operettas, particularly gilbert and sullivan, and is also known for his gigantic feet, which have gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion. Though he often concocts elaborate schemes of vengeance against his perceived enemies, bob is not wholly irredeemable, and has on multiple occasions saved the lives of even his own victims.
biography
robert terwilliger began his career as sideshow bob, a non-speaking sidekick on krusty the clowns television show. His younger brother, cecil, was actually the one who was auditioning for the role; krusty was not impressed by the younger terwilliger, and saw bob as the ideal comic foil who would be ridiculous and never stand him up.[[6]](#cite_note-:1-6) sideshow bob endured perpetual derision and misery as a sidekick, such as being targeted with pies and shot out of cannons, as much to satisfy krustys sadism as attract viewers.
sideshow bob soon began to tire of these antics, and also realized that off-camera krusty was engaging in vulgar behavior such as illegal gambling and patronizing strip joints. Fed up with the abuse he endured for his employers perverse benefit, sideshow bob began plotting krustys downfall.[[7]](#cite_note-:0-7)
his first scheme of revenge was a far cry from his later, rube goldberg-esque plots: bob simply disguised himself as krusty and framed him for an armed robbery of the kwik-e-mart. After krusty was arrested, bob took control of the show, introducing children to elements of high culture. However, bobs reign was short-lived; bart simpson, with the help of his sister, lisa, exposed bobs treachery, securing krustys release.
homer had been present during the robbery, and had actually stepped on krustys oversized shoe, eliciting a cry from the impostor. Krustys feet were of an average size, and did not fill out his clown shoes in the same way terwilliger did. Footage of this chance revelation from the stores security cameras was enough to begin to unravel the scheme.
bart and lisa also knew that krusty had a pacemaker and in the security footage bob used the microwave, which the real krusty could not do because it would interfere with it. Finally, krusty was illiterate, and bob was reading a magazine in the kwik-e-mart right before committing the robbery. After the new evidence was brought forward, bob was subsequently convicted for the robbery and sent to jail, but not before swearing vengeance on bart.[[7]](#cite_note-:0-7)
during his time in prison, bob won an emmy award for his role on the krusty the clown show), but his award was confiscated by the prison guards. He also took some satisfaction in making nameplates for cars during this time since it allowed him to make subtle threatening messages against bart.
bob took part in a prisoner dating service and went into a relationship with selma bouvier, barts aunt. After he was released from prison, he proposed to and married selma, despite barts protests. As part of a scheme to inherit the money his new wife had invested in the stock market, bob attempted to kill selma by blowing up their hotel room during their honeymoon. However, bart again foiled the plan and sideshow bob returns to prison, exclaiming that as soon as the democrats were back in office, he and all his criminal buddies would be back on the streets.[[8]](#cite_note-8)
after being paroled from prison, bob targeted bart directly, threatening him repeatedly. His first scheme against bart involved mailing dozens of threatening letters written in bobs own blood. One of the letters was not actually written by sideshow bob— written in a sloppy, grammatically incorrect manner as well obviously not being written in blood– which was instead written by homer as revenge for bart tattooing his butt with wide load. Ironically, the production of these letters also caused bob health problems due to the volume of blood required.
the letters led bart to become extremely paranoid. Despite these outgoing letters, which any sensible prison staff would have screened given bobs volatility and them being sent to his most recurring victim, bob eventually managed to get parole due to manipulating the parole jury with his intellect and cultured nature. He then unveiled his release to the simpsons family in a movie theatre and proceeded to theatrically declare all the people he wont be killing, making sure to leave bart off the list.
his actions forced the simpsons to move to terror lake with the identity of the thompsons as part of the witness relocation program. Bob, however, anticipated their relocation and followed them to their new houseboat, although the actual journey proved painful for bob, having his head hit repeatedly by speed bumps, being scalded by coffee homer threw out of the car, and being subject to cacti after the family decided to drive through the cactus patches. After finally getting out of the car, bob remained true to his career as a clown by also repeatedly stepping on rakes.
despite these adversities, he eventually encountered bart underneath another car but ended up losing his quarry due to the arrival of a parade celebrating hannibal crossing the alps, complete with elephants, although not without bart noticing his presence. Eventually, he, after infiltrating the houseboat and subduing the family, prepared to kill bart. He allowed a final request, however, and bart asked to hear the entire score of h.M.S. Pinafore, bobs favorite operetta. Bob, compelled by his love of the classic comedy, complied with the request. This delaying tactic leads to bobs third arrest.[[9]](#cite_note-9)
fortune shined upon terwilliger once again, however, after bob was released from prison once again. Conservative commentator birch barlow convinced the public that bob was a political prisoner being held unjustly. After being released, bob ran for mayor of springfield on a republican party ticket on an ironic law and order platform. He won the election against liberal incumbent joe quimby by a landslide.
terwilliger then used his power as mayor to propose the demolition of the simpsons house to make way for an expressway, and as further reprisal, sent bart back to kindergarten. Despite these initial successes, bart and lisa later discover that bob rigged the election, and then manipulated him into confessing after implying he was simply a patsy, leading to yet another incarceration.[[10]](#cite_note-10)
during his prison sentence, he began to develop a growing dislike of television, calling it an omnidirectional sludge pump, droning and burping. While doing community service at an air force base before an annual air show, bob escaped from his work duty and snuck into a hangar in the base disguising his voice with the mannerisms of col. Leslie hap hapablap, where he made off with a nuclear device. During the air show, coincidentally being attended by the simpsons family, bob appeared on the television screens and threatened to blow up springfield with a nuclear bomb unless the city stopped broadcasting all television shows. When confronted by bart and lisa, the bomb was discovered to be a dud, and sideshow bob instead kidnapped bart and hijacked the wright flier, planning to crash the flier onto a shack where krusty was broadcasting an impromptu tv show. However, the plan failed, and bob was returned to prison.[[11]](#cite_note-11)
during this particular stint, bob became a member of the prisons christian outreach program and seemingly attempted genuine moral redemption. Reverend lovejoy declared him a changed man and recommended him for a work release opportunity. Despite his prior abuse of this program at the air show, bob was discharged from prison into the care of his brother cecil, who was springfields chief hydrological and hydrodynamical engineer at the time.
though bart constantly investigated bob and his job at the dam still made him show signs of bitterness and resentment, the elder terwilliger tried to be a good man. It was his own brother who undid him, however, still harboring resentment over bob usurping the position as krustys sidekick years before. Cecil sabotaged the springfield dam, framing his own brother for the crime.
reflecting his redeemed nature, bob worked with his former nemeses, bart and lisa, to rescue springfield. However, both bob and cecil were sent to prison despite bobs genuine innocence due to chief clancy wiggums steadfast insistence about bobs culpability. Though insistent contrary testimony was made by both bart and lisa, it was for naught, and bobs incarceration was resumed.[[6]](#cite_note-:1-6)
some time later, krusty announces his retirement due to low ratings, anf bob discovered from prison that krusty has erased all of the early shows featuring him and his character. Bob was released from prison yet again, and developed a plot to kill krusty as revenge for this slight.
furthermore, bobs perceived anger at the simpson children was resumed despite their advocacy for his innocence during their last encounter. As a result, bob planned to employ bart as part of his latest scheme. Using his new job as an intercom announcer at springfield elementary, he cornered bart in a shack off the school playground and hypnotized bart, planning to use him as a suicide bomber during krustys final retirement show.
however, when bob later overheard krusty express regret about mistreating him, bob decided to abort his plan, and although he is returned to prison for attempted murder, krusty thanked him due to the fact that his shows ratings soar back up every time bob tries to kill him. Sideshow bob, as a result of his attempted murder, was also originally going to be extrajudicially executed by guillotine, but bob reminded chief wiggum that he was supposed to get a trial, as guaranteed under law. The order for his execution was revoked, and he was sent back to prison again.[[12]](#cite_note-12) around this time, he also participated in marges prison art class and ended up having a papier-mâché sculpt made of his own face for unknown reasons.[[13]](#cite_note-13)
after an attempt was made on [homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson)s life, bob was temporarily released from prison to help find the culprit, much to the dismay and horror of [bart](/wiki/bart_simpson). To keep him from trying to hurt bart, the police attached a shock garter to bobs leg and gave the family a remote that shocked bob at the push of the button, which initially proved effective. However, the family, mainly bart, misused the remote, shocking bob just for being too smart.
during the course of the case, bob actually saved homer after a second attempt on his life.
bob returned to the simpsons home to murder bart. However, the would-be killer found that he was accustomed to barts face and could not do it.[[14]](#cite_note-:2-14) perhaps rattled by this revelation, bob ended the cycle of endless re-incarceration that had dominated his life for years, and departed for italy, unknown to those in springfield.
after gaining fame for his wine— his exceptionally large feet made him a perfect grape crusher— bob became the mayor of the town. Mirroring his prior election in springfield, this stint as mayor was one of genuine leadership and affection for his new home. He married a local woman named [francesca](/wiki/francesca_terwilliger), with whom he had a son named [gino](/wiki/gino_terwilliger).
some time later, the [simpson family](/wiki/simpson_family) encountered him by chance after coming to italy to retrieve a car for [mr. Burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns). Bob welcomed them with genuine hospitality on the condition that they do not reveal his felonious past; however, a drunken lisa soon jokes about bobs criminal deeds, eventually exposing his past and causing bob to be alienated from the towns citizens. Feeling deeply wronged and having lost the fruits of genuine redemption as a law-abiding citizen, bob, his wife and son swore a vendetta on the simpsons.[[15]](#cite_note-:3-15)
in a later attempt on [bart](/wiki/bart_simpson)s life, bob lured the simpsons family into a fake rib restaurant, and tied the entire family up, planning to kill them with the explosion of an overheating laptop next to a pile of tnt. After bob misquoted several lines on shakespeare, [lisa](/wiki/lisa_simpson) managed to trick him into checking a line from a shakespeare play on wikipedia, resulting in the laptop exploding in his hands.
during the trial, bobs father, [robert terwilliger, sr.](/Wiki/robert_terwilliger,_sr.), Testified on the stand, explaining that bob had a rare heart condition, and also suggests that sideshow bob is insane because of his long-standing feud with bart. This convinced springfield that in the long-run bart is ultimately to blame, and they turned against the boy.
as bart pleaded his innocence, bob took out a vial labeled nitroglycerin, which bart snatches and throws out the window, thinking it was an explosive. The vial was actually bobs heart medication and he collapsed on the floor, unconscious; he was swiftly pronounced dead. In reality, bob had actually faked his death and been put in a temporary death-like state, as his father had injected him with an anesthetic. The earlier transgressions by cecil at the dam apparently having been forgiven, all members of the terwilliger family were invested in this latest plot.
when a guilty [bart](/wiki/bart_simpson) visits his coffin while being led by cecil, bob revealed the scheme, leaping out of the coffin and trapping bart inside to be cremated. The simpsons family saved bart just in time by blinding bob with unclaimed ashes. Bobs entire family, including his italian wife and child, and his brother and parents, were sentenced to an 87-year prison term, and bob was put in a straitjacket.
sideshow bob was briefly seen escaping from prison and visited krusty the clown for the week. Bart and lisa traced sideshow bob to a cabin believing that he has kidnapped homer simpson (homer went missing at marges third wedding and thought sideshow bob was the culprit due to a clue, a keychain with the letters sb on it, being left in the grooms room.), Only to discover that he was actually trying to aerate a bust of krusty that he was sculpting. Krusty also explains that sideshow bob couldnt have kidnapped homer simpson because bob was with krusty the whole day. When lisa questions him about the key chain, he explains that, although its nice that they thought of him, the initials dont just pertain to him, and gives a list of people whom sb could refer to, including [selma bouvier](/wiki/selma_bouvier), the actual culprit.[[16]](#cite_note-16) eventually, he returns to jail again (exactly how is never explained), where he is bullied by snake.[[17]](#cite_note-17)
later, the town of springfield releases all minor offenders from the springfield prison as a result of budget cuts. Sideshow bob performs plastic surgery on his new cellmate, walt warren, one such offender, switching their faces (which he did in order to be released from prison early, as walt, so he can kill bart). He then buys the house next to the simpsons, planning to pose as their friendly neighbor while waiting for the chance to kill bart. However, while this disguise does fool the rest of the simpsons, bart easily sees through it, immediately recognizing bobs distinctive voice. Bob then planned to take bart over to the five corners so he could kill bart in one state while standing in another state, so that it would be legal for him to kill bart. However, the real walt manages to foil his plan and the police from all five states trap him.[[18]](#cite_note-:4-18) it is revealed he has been given back his normal face when he later speaks briefly during the town meeting to exile the simpson family,[[19]](#cite_note-19) and later on, when he attempts to kill bart while in new york city, only to be hit by a train.[[20]](#cite_note-20) bart also assumed his identity on an online poker game.[[21]](#cite_note-21) bob was later seen during bart simpsons trial, assuming the mantle of one of the unfriendly witnesses.
while still serving out his sentence at springfield penitentiary, sideshow bob was recruited as a human test subject by monsarno corporation. His original purpose was to ensure that the experiments wouldnt be too painful for the test monkeys. After publishing the results of the tests he was subjected to, he eventually rose up the ranks to become chief scientist at the monsarno research campus, where he created over 5000 patents. One day, the simpson family visits the lab to learn more about genetically modified organisms and are shocked to find sideshow bob working there. Bob swears that he has changed and that he truly is working to make a better world. During their visit, lisa learns that she and bob share a common passion for walt whitman, poetry, and art. Believing that a mind that thinks so much like hers could not possibly be completely evil, she begins visiting bob at the campus on a regular basis. Eventually, monsarno corporation allows bob an hour of freedom to spend with lisa at the springfield metropolitan museum. While there, a calder mobile almost falls on lisa, but bob saves her by catching the mobile and throwing it aside. When lisa demands to know how bob got the strength to lift the massively heavy sculpture, bob confesses that he had been altering his dna to give himself various superhuman abilities. Further, he admits that he had only come to the museum to collect dna from the personal effects of famous historical persons (such as george washington, albert einstein, and florence nightingale) and splicing them with his own so that he might become a superhuman dictator. Eventually, bart shows up at the museum and bob is provoked to attack the simpson children, due to dna from zombie ant fungus. During the chase scene that follows, bob demonstrates the abilities of grasshopper-like leaping, sonar, and cranial kinesis. He eventually corners the children at the springfield dam and intends to throw them off of it. However, when lisa recites a quote by whitman, bob finally realizes what kind of person he has become and attempts suicide by leaping from the dam himself. He survives on account of having given himself gills.[[22]](#cite_note-22)
when [krustys father](/wiki/rabbi_hyman_krustofsky) dies, bob makes a brief appearance at the funeral reception to offer his condolences to krusty (exactly how he was captured or if his abilities have been removed is never explained). He is then confronted by a drunken [sideshow mel](/wiki/sideshow_mel), who reveals that krusty is always telling him that he will never live up to bobs comedic genius. Mel goes on to say that all of krustys sidekicks have thought about killing him.[[23]](#cite_note-23)
bob also has a brief cameo in the simpsons/[family guy](/wiki/family_guy) crossover episode, as one of many of barts enemies that [stewie griffin](/wiki/stewie_griffin) kidnaps and tortures.[[24]](#cite_note-24)
later, bob meets [jack lassen](/wiki/jack_lassen), a sociopath who took a job as a prison guard at springfield penitentiary after bart gets him fired from his job as the new fourth-grade teacher at springfield elementary. Realizing that they both share a deep hatred of bart simpson, lassen offers to break bob out of prison so they can team up and take their revenge on the boy together. Bob ultimately rejects the deal as he does not want to have to take turns gutting bart.[[25]](#cite_note-25)
bob later did community service, although his hard work was wasted when the simpson family destroyed the garbage by running into it via their rental car. After learning that bart went missing, bob volunteered alongside his other prison inmates and shaquille oneal to find bart, obviously, so he could try to kill him. After hearing that bart was dead, he had trouble believing it, with his doubts being confirmed when bart called the simpson family and confirming he is alive. Bob then forces milhouse to show them where bart was located (being the only one who found the manhole bart fell into). Predictably, he then shoves milhouse down the manhole and prepares to use the military missile bunkers missiles to do away with his nemesis. However, he ultimately had a change of heart and spared them, presumably also bringing him to the surface. Bob subsequently returned to prison and underwent psychiatric help.[[26]](#cite_note-gone_boy-26) at some point afterward, he underwent parole again, and eventually joined a santa union at [santas village](/wiki/santa%27s_village) where he played santa to hear kids desires for christmas. This eventually led to a very awkward moment when his next customer ended up being his nemesis, bart, as well as trying to avoid the urge to strangle him due to needing to act in-character. After gift packages were reported to be stolen from porches across springfield, and lenny left a clue to the identity of the one responsible, bart assumed sideshow bob was responsible and went to santas village, only to discover that his plans referred to his life goals. Bob then offered to help bart catch the one responsible for the thefts, and hid in a package to draw out the culprits, who turned out to be smithers and mr. Burns, who did their actions because the latter had a horrible christmas as a child. Bob then tells him that he became strong during that christmas.[[27]](#cite_note-27)
comics
sideshow bob has appeared in various [simpsons comics](/wiki/simpsons_comics).
for example in issue 2 story cool hand bart where bart, nelson, jimbo, dolph, kearny, and milhouse attend a seminar, called scared spitless, which is held in springfield state prison and intended to scare trouble-making kids into shaping up. Chief wiggum decides that all the kids attending the seminar should spend an hour in an actual prison cell. Bart and milhouse are put in bobs cell, and to avoid being killed, bart climbs through the bars and into a van. The van winds up in a work-camp, where bart is chained up with bob. Bob escapes with bart, and they leap onto a moving train. Until bob is able to get onto the train himself, he is left bouncing on his end of the chain, repeatedly hitting his head on the ground. Soon, however, he climbs aboard and advances on bart with murderous intent. Just as sideshow bob is about to kill bart, bart points out that he would have to drag his corpse around, because they are chained together. Postponing his plan to kill bart, they walk through the swamp while bart follows until they reach a hacksaw sale. They go in, but bob is forced to hide his hair in a hat to keep from being noticed and identified. They realize that wiggum is at the sale, and bart sucks his hat off with a vacuum cleaner, revealing him to the police. Finally, bob is arrested and bart goes home safe.
he appears again in issue 11 fallen flanders where he teams up with [kang and kodos](/wiki/kang_and_kodos) and together they abduct ned flanders and replace him with an evil clone. Neds uncharacteristic behavior convinces bart and lisa to investigate alongside actor [rainier wolfcastle](/wiki/rainier_wolfcastle) who had previously encountered the aliens clones, this turns out to have been sideshow bobs plan all along and the three are abducted. Eventually, the aliens are defeated and sideshow bob escapes on a helicopter he realizes too late is driven by chief wiggum.
he appears in issue 23 story bart de triomphe which introduces his nephew neil.
he and his brother cecil appear in jail together in issue 41, story bart simpson and the krusty brand fun factory. Krusty gives ralph, barney, bart, nelson, chief wiggum, grampa, homer (disguised as barneys mother) and snake (claiming to be nelsons parole officer) a tour of his new factory in a boat on a cherry soda river which includes a water slide. Unbeknownst to krusty and the visitors, sideshow bob has hacked into krustys computer and he drops a giant cherry on the boat. Krusty escapes while everyone else is forced to take refuge in the frozen food division. Bob releases flying cyborg monkeys that attack the visitors. They try to fight back until krusty arrives in a jet and saves them. Krusty gets revenge on bob by knocking his jet into bobs prison cell.
in issue 46 story angels with yellow faces he was paroled from prison. Bob wanted to make more money, so he starts a small business-sideshow bobs vcr repair and pet sitting. In the back of the building was his school of crime- where he would teach other people to become criminals. He uses [nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz), [dolph starbeam](/wiki/dolph_starbeam), [kearney zzyzwicz](/wiki/kearney_zzyzwicz), and [jimbo jones](/wiki/jimbo_jones) to steal money from people all over town. Meanwhile, bart photocopies his butt and is caught by [chief wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum). Wiggum knows about bobs scheme, but he has no proof, so he tells bart- you wont get in trouble if you infiltrate his gang. Bart cannot say no and joins the gang. Bob is planning to kill him until bart aces the test. Bob is very proud and says that he will do his master scheme the next day. Bart tells chief wiggum that he doesnt know what it is. The next day, bob drives to the hospital, planning to kidnap [mr. Burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns) (who is only there because of his love of childrens tender organs). Nelson pushes mr. Burns into a fake ambulance, where bob drives away, but the police stand in front of them. Bob believes bart called them and prepares to kill bart with a high powered drug. Bart shocks bob, and the police take him away. Lisa says she called in the cops after following him there. They hug each other.
in issue 77 story the many faces of bob he is released from prison but soon ends up in the hospital and gets a new face. After bart and lisa discover this they become worried as they do not know what he looks like anymore. They eventually discover this was exaggerated and his new face is basically exactly the same as before. He is knocked out by sideshow mel.
in issue 108 story big house homer homer is framed by mr. Burns and smithers and made sideshow bobs cellmate (though homer fails to recognize bob at first), due to a common dislike for bart, homer and bob become quick friends. Bob takes homer on a tour of the prison and homer points out a masked prisoner who bob claims to be a nameless psycho. Bob reveals to homer a plan to escape jail, bobs secret tunnel is under the cell of the masked prisoner. When homer and bob get into the cell the prisoner asks if he can come along. Homer quickly jumps into the tunnel when the prisoner reveals he knows who homer is. The prisoner chases homer through the tunnel while telling him that he cant escape the past. Homer falls into a cavern full of crates, the prisoner jumps down and removes his mask revealing, frank grimes, jr. Grimes reminds homer that he was sent to jail for attempting to murder homer to avenge the death of his father, frank grimes. Mr. Burns and smithers enter the cavern and reveal its burns secret stash of rare paintings. Sideshow bob falls through the hole in the ceiling and knock out both himself and grimes. Homer blackmails burns to get him out of jail, otherwise he blabs about the paintings, burns agrees and homer is set free, while bob and grimes are returned to prison.
in issue #123 story bobbing for vengeance bob becomes popular on the television series big house live that broadcasts live from the prison where they show sideshow bob is in the kitchen and cook a flaming vengeance, around the same time everyone seems to start trying to kill bart. The next day the family is at home and watches big house live in which sideshow bob explains that he has help from his spiritual advisor and now he wants to make peace with the world and not kill a young boy. A picture of that spiritual advisor is on the screen and lisa tells bart that she recognizes him. Lisa and bart start to looking at copies of the show and bart and lisa discover that they almost always see sideshow bobs spiritual advisor and he has a pocket watch, and they realize he is a hypnotist. They pause the dvd and find that in some seconds they show the text, vote for bob. Be like bob.. They realize that bob is using hypnosis with subliminal messages so anyone who sees the program wants to kill him. Bart becomes really scared and outside the door is the residents of springfield who want to come to play with bart, when they see bart in the house, he escapes and they start chasing him. Bart manages to escape the crowd and he decides to dress up as sideshow bob and tell the mob to leave bart now, but they realize that its bart and intend to kill him, but then came the real sideshow bob and with his hypnotist and he gets all of springfield to forget what happened to want to kill bart himself. Chief wiggum then appears and tells them that like all reality shows theres a twist, there was never any parole, that was just a way for the city to save some money and get some criminals out of they temporarily overcrowded jail. But because they did not have to pay to feed him they even managed to save a few bucks on the side for the police retirement and buffalo wing. Sideshow bob realizing hes facing life in prison no matter what he does and wiggum confirms that. Sideshow bob then starts to hunt bart at his home, and bart asks for help from homer, but he cant leave the tv, showing live the hunt between bart and bob.
a british version of sideshow bob makes a minor cameo in issue 208, brit simpson, on page 11. His name was sideshow bobby.
character
appearance
he has unusually large feet (they actually fill his over-sized clown shoes). Apparently, if he needs to disguise himself, he can actually fold his feet just to wear normal shoes.[[18]](#cite_note-:4-18) he is tall with slender limbs and a plump paunch. His favorite weapon is a carving knife, which he is regularly depicted holding. In the episode [cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare), he uses a machete.
hair
sideshow bobs defining feature is his curly, palm tree-shaped red hair (the palm-tree style has been used as visual gags in various episodes). His hair is exceedingly long when wet (as seen in [cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare)), pulled or brushed. It tends to recoil and bounce back into shape with great ease. When he first appeared in [the telltale head](/wiki/the_telltale_head), he had an afro-like hairstyle, with a darker shade of red.
tattoos
sideshow bob has various tattoos all over his body, some of which are against bart.
- chest: the words, die bart, die (which he claims in court is meant to be german for the bart, the)
- back: barts head (decapitated) on his skateboard with a speech bubble saying, ouch, man!
- knuckles: luv (right hand) and h?T (left hand)
[?](Https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/%c4%80)is sometimes used as a long a sound, so phonetically the above is pronounced hate
- upper left arm: skull and crossbones
- upper right arm: knife
the tattoos have generally not been shown since, (except in treehouse of horror xxvi but it’s non-cannon)though it has not been confirmed if they have been removed or not.
personality
sideshow bob, in a way, mirrors [hannibal lecter](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/hannibal_lecter); a psychopath who could recite shakespeare by heart while stabbing you in yours.
sideshow bob enjoys the finer things in life, including reading classical literature and playing an instrument (a violin). Likely due to his upbringing, he has a passion for theater, knowing gilbert and sullivans [h.M.S. Pinafore](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/h.M.S._pinafore) off by heart as well as shakespeares works. In contrast to his love of the higher pleasures, he despises television and other low class things, which gives him a rather snobbish attitude. Despite his love of higher pleasures, he ironically hates the ivy league school of [princeton university](/wiki/princeton_university), which he disparagingly referred to as clown college at least once. Ironically, in his time when he was a master criminal, he studied the uses of dynamite, which would theoretically be considered low class. At times, he also may have genuine desires to help humanity, as he explains that his motivation for tricking the springfield citizens into electing him was to save them from themselves.
beneath the cultured gentlemen is the heart of a cold-blooded killer; bob is a man who thinks nothing of hurting others to get what he wants, even if this includes himself. Bobs primary motive seems to be revenge; his original crime (framing [krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown)) was an attempt to get back at him for making a clumsy fool of bob for years as his sidekick, and most of his other crimes have been attempts at murdering [bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson) for foiling him. However, he has made several attempts at acquiring money and/or power, such as when he tried to kill [selma bouvier](/wiki/selma_bouvier) or run a campaign for mayor as a republican (if for no other reason than to make the simpsons miserable).
despite his cold-blooded status, he does at times attempt to change. A notable instance was when he was released by cecil and fully intended to change his past felon ways (even having reluctance at hurting bart, his worst enemy).[[6]](#cite_note-:1-6) in addition, he also has some reserves, as when choosing to fashion a new life, he immediately rejects [north korea](/wiki/north_korea) as a location for him to settle in. Similarly, the closest he ever came to killing bart, he ended up saving him instead due to having second thoughts twice: the first time was when he brainwashed bart into acting as a suicide bomber against krusty as revenge (which he abandoned at the last minute after learning krusty had regrets to his treatment over bob during his time as his sideshow), and the second time was when preparing to tie bart and milhouse to a missile after he tricked the latter into exposing his location.
largely because of his former status as a clown, he also was capable of extreme physical feats. For instance, he was able to contort his body to such an extent that he could easily fit into a package (which he implies was due to having to ride in krustys clown car cross-country). He also claimed that repeated blows from cream pies left his face immune to pain, short of self-inflicted surgeries as bob learned the hard way. His face being immune to pain is somewhat implied with the rake gag, as he repeatedly gets hit by a rake in the face, yet only utters a growl of annoyance rather than actually appearing to be in pain. He was also adept at mimicking voices, particularly krustys, which he used to great effect when framing him.
family
bob has a brother named [cecil terwilliger](/wiki/cecil_terwilliger), who is jealous of bob for stealing his role during his audition for [the krusty the klown show](/wiki/the_krusty_the_clown_show_(tv_series)), and tried to frame bob for fraud.[[6]](#cite_note-:1-6) his parents are doctor, [robert terwilliger sr.](/Wiki/robert_terwilliger_sr.), And talented actress, [dame judith underdunk](/wiki/dame_judith_underdunk).[[28]](#cite_note-28) after moving to italy and becoming mayor of a small italian village, bob married a woman named [francesca](/wiki/francesca_terwilliger) (it is unconfirmed if they may be separated or divorced, as he is seen making plans to date an age-appropriate woman after retirement and flirting with [cassandra patterson](/wiki/cassandra_patterson) in [bobby, its cold outside](/wiki/bobby,_it%27s_cold_outside)) and with her, had a son named [gino](/wiki/gino_terwilliger).[[15]](#cite_note-:3-15) when homer must go to italy to get mr. Burns new sports car, they just happen to stop in bobs village. Bob tries to hide his past from his new wife but is unable, contrary to bobs fear, his wife and son try and help him kill bart.
enemies
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown)
sideshow bob declared himself an enemy of krusty, as his role on the krusty the clown show was regularly cruel and demeaning. Since framing krusty for armed robbery, bob has attempted to kill him a couple of times. However, the last time bob tries to, krusty publicly confesses his regret for abusing him in his show by singing a nice song for him as an apology, which touches bob so much. With that in line, they seemed to bury the hatchet. Despite this, he was seen holding a sign saying die clown when krusty was drowning in a frozen lake in an attempt at baptism, and earlier had a sign in walt warrens house that said, kill krusty, too! (Which is the only thing besides a reminder to buy milk that wasnt a message saying kill bart) implying that bob still has trace amounts of hatred towards krusty.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson)
he became barts nemesis after bart figured out he had framed krusty, getting him sent to prison. Ever since then, bob has been obsessed with killing bart, constantly plotting his revenge in prison. The first few times he was released from jail, sideshow bob would carry out a plan to murder bart, or count it as a bonus to one of his other schemes (the only three exceptions being when he [successfully became mayor](/wiki/sideshow_bob_roberts), as he found it more fitting to just put bart back in kindergarten and demolish the simpson house for the construction of matlock highway than to simply murder bart [though he does warn that any simpsons who remain at the house during the demolishment date will end up killed as a result], was released under the [prison christianity movement](/wiki/brother_from_another_series), where he attempted to atone for his sins, and most notably does not desire to even hurt bart at all (the worst he ever did to him during that time was personally deliver bart and lisa back to their house after he caught them spying on him, and indicated such was something he intended to do to punish bart and lisa besides murdering them for a long time to come before doing so.), And when homer [had disappeared from the third attempt at a wedding](/wiki/wedding_for_disaster), where he interacted with bart and lisa in a manner that belied no hostility, and in fact also gave them a hint from the key-chain that the actual culprits were selma and patty bouvier). Eventually, when he finally had bart at his mercy, he lets him go, as he has become accustomed to his face.[[14]](#cite_note-:2-14) strangely, bob does not seem to hold any distinctive grudge against lisa, despite the fact that she ruined his plans as mayor of springfield, mayor of a small italian village (unintentionally), and his attempt on the lives of her entire family (which even included her). This is possibly because they have similar intellectual and cultural levels and, somehow, respect each other[[29]](#cite_note-29). He also does not hold a grudge against marge, homer, or even maggie, since he has no reason to hate them.
it is often implied that the real reason behind bobs obsession with killing bart is ego rather than to siege revenge on him for landing him in prison, as he finds it infuriating that an underachieving 10-year-old is constantly able to foil him with such ease.
the closest thing bob has to a catchphrase comes from this relationship: sometimes, bob will reveal himself saying hello, bart in a menacing tone to which bart (and sometimes lisa and the rest of the simpsons in unison) will exclaim ah! Sideshow bob!. However, in [gone boy](/wiki/gone_boy), bob forces milhouse to show them where bart was located (being the only one who found the manhole bart fell into). Predictably, he then shoves milhouse down the manhole and prepares to use the military missile bunkers missiles to do away with his nemesis. However, he ultimately had a change of heart, and he and bart accepted a truce and became friends. Despite this, bart was still wary of him, as depicted in [bobby, its cold outside](/wiki/bobby,_it%27s_cold_outside), where he was terrified upon learning that sideshow bob is the santas villages main attraction, although bob made clear that he had absolutely no intention of even harming bart, let alone killing him (he claims its because his taking the part of santa makes him compelled to stay in character as long as possible and thus cannot afford to act on his murderous urges, though his life goals folder that bart discovered not even mentioning any harmful intentions towards the boy [or indeed, even mentions bart at all] implies he genuinely stopped trying to act on his murderous impulses against bart).
[simpson family](/wiki/simpson_family)
due to them being responsible for barts existence, having a large role in spoiling his plans and/or causing him physical harm, not to mention ruining his possibilities to be redeemed and thus having finally a normal life, bob developed an insane obsession also for the rest of the simpsons and tried to kill them alongside bart for revenge.
rakes
when bob follows the simpsons to their new home after they became a part of the witness protection program, he clambers out from beneath their car, he steps on the end of a rake lying on the ground, causing it to fly up and hit him in the face and he shudders. He turns away from it, only for the same to happen, as another rake is lying nearby. It turns out that there are many rakes in this area, as the event repeats itself for some time. He is repeatedly the target of the rake slapstick gag, causing him to declare rakes as his greatest foe besides bart simpson. In the simpsons game, when bob steps on one rake and it flies up and hits him in the face, it knocks him out. When bob was attempting to murder bart at [five corners](/wiki/five_corners), (the only place in america where 5 states meet) bart caused him to hop back and forth from state to state until he jumps on a rake which then hits him in the face. Most recently, bob accidentally stepped on a rake underwater, after falling from atop springfield dam into the water below when he was walking away at the end of [the man who grew too much](/wiki/the_man_who_grew_too_much).
career
his occupation was to be krustys sidekick on the krusty the clown show. He didnt even want the job: bob accompanied his brother to the auditions and unwittingly impressed krusty enough to be hired on the spot. His job before is unknown. He gave up on his sidekick job after he went to prison for framing krusty, and has since become a master criminal, although the master part is spurious, as he has been repeatedly foiled by children. However, while being arrested the first time around, he warns the adults to not look down on children as they are more intelligent than they appear as they were smart enough to get me!, Implying that bart and lisa may have intelligence above most average kids.
crimes
- attempted murder
- kidnapping
- mass-fraud
- faking his death
- voter-fraud
- armed robbery
- false imprisonment
- framing
non-canon appearance
future
in [holidays of future passed](/wiki/holidays_of_future_passed), set 30 years after the regular series, it is implied that bob has been murdered, as his chalk outline can be seen on the floor of moes tavern, among other outlines, including the [capital city goofball](/wiki/capital_city_goofball). It also could be implied that he accidentally killed himself from stepping on a rake, as there is also an outline of a rake next to his outline.
in [gone boy](/wiki/gone_boy), a flash-forward scene at the end reveals that, in the future, he lives in a lighthouse. Regretting trying to get revenge since he wasted his life doing it, he tells this to [squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen) that life is short and not to waste it on revenge.
halloween specials
[treehouse of horror xxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvi)
sideshow bob appears as the main antagonist of one segment of [treehouse of horror xxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvi), entitled wanted: dead then alive. In this story, bob uses milhouses cellphone to text bart and lure him into the music room alone after school. Once he has bart cornered, he pulls out a harpoon gun and aims it at the boy. Bart is unfazed by the threat, certain that bob will bungle his plan as usual. Bob responds by shooting him in the chest and killing him. Having finally succeeded in killing a 10-year-old child after 24 years, bob sings with joy and changes his fiendbook status from attempted murderer to murderer.
bob takes barts corpse home with him and amuses himself for several days desecrating the body. Once he grows bored with the dead boy, he decides to move into his post-bartum phase and accepts a job as an associate professor at springfield university. However, the schools standards are so low that simply reading the sign outside the entrance is the only requirement for acceptance, and bob finds himself highly dissatisfied with the quality of his students (who spend most of his class looking up the answers to his questions online). Eventually, bob comes to realize that he was happier when his life revolved around trying to kill bart, so he decides to bring him back to life.
using supplies he looted from the universitys engineering, chemistry, and occult departments, bob constructs a machine that brings bart back to life. Bob proceeds to repeatedly kill bart, each time using his machine to bring him back to life so that he may be killed again. Eventually, lisa sees barts dismembered body through bobs basement window. She comments that she always suspected bob was responsible for barts disappearance, even though [snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird) had already been tried, found guilty, and executed for the crime.
lisa returns later with the rest of her family. They break into bobs basement and use the machine to restore bart to life. Bob walks in on them and pulls out a rifle to shoot them, but homer hits him over the head with a lamp. Homer continues to beat bob with the broken lamp until it decapitates him. Bart then takes bobs head, along with a pair of deer antlers, frog legs, a wild boars tail, the headless body of a chicken, and some of his own boogers for good measure, and uses the reanimation machine to bring bob back to life as a horrible freaky creature. Afterwards, bob, as [sideshow chicken](/wiki/sideshow_chicken), returns to his job as a professor at springfield university, but his students are too distracted by his appearance to learn anything.
[treehouse of horror xxvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvii)
he tries to kill the simpson family once again during the opening sequence for [treehouse of horror xxvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvii) along with one of the [rigellians](/wiki/rigellians), the ghost of [frank grimes](/wiki/frank_grimes) and a [leprechaun](/wiki/leprechaun). However, once again he fails, as maggie decapitates all four of them, killing everyone but franks ghost (the latter only because, due to his obviously being dead already, he couldnt die again).
[treehouse of horror xxxiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxiv)
the second episode of treehouse of horror xxxiv, ei8th, presents an alternative reality in which bob kills bart at the end of [cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare), and lisa witnesses the murder. Thirty years later, lisa simpson is a forensic psychology professor and helps officer [muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz) with a series of brutal homicides – [rod flanders](/wiki/rod_flanders), [montaigne prince](/wiki/montaigne_prince), [dermott spuckler](/wiki/dermott_spuckler), and [sherri mackleberry](/wiki/sherri_mackleberry). She asks bobs help, which he refuses. After nelson muntz himself is murdered, lisa finds security records that show herself as the killer, and then the killers hideout which is a faithful reconstruction of lisas old bedroom. It turns out that lisa [had developed a split personality](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/dissociative_identity_disorder) after witnessing barts death, and while professor lisa was calm and rational, her alternate personality is sadistic and violent. With the help of [maggie](/wiki/maggie_simpson) disguised as a prison guard, lisa is assigned the same cell as bob, and kills him while the finale of [h.M.S. Pinafore](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/h.M.S._pinafore) plays from a gramophone – the same musical number bob sung, leaving it incomplete, before killing bart.
[the simpsons guy](/wiki/the_simpsons_guy)
in the simpsons/family guy crossover, [stewie griffin](/wiki/stewie_griffin) captures and tortures barts enemies, one of them being sideshow bob.
ride
sideshow bob appears as the main antagonist (although kelsey grammer refers to him as the rides host) in [the simpsons ride](/wiki/the_simpsons_ride) at the [universal studios](/wiki/universal_studios) parks, in which he once again goes after bart and the rest of the simpson family.
sideshow bob also appears as a new mascot along with [krusty](/wiki/krusty_the_clown) as part of an expansion at [universal studios](/wiki/universal_studios) in florida and hollywood.
video-games
the simpsons bowling
bob himself doesnt appear in the game, but he was given an indirect reference when playng as krusty. If the player fails to roll the bowling ball in time, an animation plays where krusty attempts to throw the ball only to have it disappear on him to his confusion. It then has the ball fall straight down and land on the tip of his clown shoes, causing krusty pain and forcing him to hop on one foot before recovering, indirectly alluding to sideshow bob framing krusty and the clue exposing him being his oversized feet.
the simpsons arcade game
bob appears in stage 5, the springfield butte. He carries a chicken in a food tray for the simpsons to gain their health.
bart vs. The space mutants
bob was included as the boss of the [krustyland](/wiki/krustyland) level in the 1991 video game [bart vs. The space mutants](/wiki/bart_vs._the_space_mutants). He attacks by jumping around at bart, and can only be defeated by stomping on his feet multiple times. If the player spelled lisas name earlier, shell aid bart by dropping bowling balls on sideshow bobs head, stunning him long enough for the player to land a clean hit on his feet. Oddly, he was primarily blue in this.
[the simpsons road rage](/wiki/the_simpsons_road_rage)
in the simpsons road rage, there is a wanted sign of sideshow bob in evergreen terrace. For some reason, he is named as sideshow bob roberts. On it, he is wanted for 5,000 dollars.
[the simpsons game](/wiki/the_simpsons_game)
sideshow bob appears at the end of [invasion of the yokel-snatchers](/wiki/invasion_of_the_yokel-snatchers) to reveal himself as being in league with [kang](/wiki/kang) and [kodos](/wiki/kodos) and prepares to do in bart and homer when he steps on a rake and knocks himself out.
mobile games
[the simpsons: tapped out](/wiki/the_simpsons:_tapped_out)
sideshow bob appears in the game at random and the player has to catch him. If you are not quick, he goes into hiding. Once you find sideshow bob, you get fifty-two dollars. You can also get him in the terwilliger event.
behind the laughter
creation
sideshow bob debuted in the season 1 episode [the telltale head](/wiki/the_telltale_head). In that appearance, his design was simpler and his hair was round in shape. However, towards the end of the episode, he appears again, in a panning shot of a crowd, with his familiar hairstyle. His first major appearance was in season ones penultimate episode [krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted). Bobs design was updated for the episode, and the animators tried to redo his scenes in [the telltale head](/wiki/the_telltale_head) with the re-design, but did not have enough time. He was briefly seen in the mob with his normal hair.
for season 3s [black widower](/wiki/black_widower), the writers decided to have bob return to get revenge on bart for foiling his plan in [krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted). They took the idea of the coyote chasing the road runner and had bob always inserting himself into barts life. However, he did not appear in every season because the writers were not always able to think of reasons to bring bob back, especially since sideshow bob episodes are written backward so they can work on the plotline. Another reason is that kelsey grammer is not a regular voice actor in the show.
voice
the script for [krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted) called for [james earl jones](/wiki/james_earl_jones) to voice bob, but the producers instead went with cheers and frasier actor [kelsey grammer](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/kelsey_grammer). The script called for sideshow bob to sing and producer [sam simon](/wiki/sam_simon) who had previously written for [cheers](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/cheers) and remembered kelsey singing on set and thought he would be perfect. Bob did not say anything during the first half of the episode, because the character always spoke with a slide whistle, and when he finally did speak, it would be a shock to hear grammers sophisticated, dulcet tones. Grammer used his impression of [ellis rabb](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/ellis_rabb), a man that grammer had once worked for, for bobs voice.
appearance
brad bird first designed bob for [krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted). As the episodes animation progressed, he made bob sleeker, more urbane and refined, and worked with grammers voice. For [black widower](/wiki/black_widower), [david silverman](/wiki/david_silverman) updated the model to reflect the animation of bird.
name
despite common fan belief that bob was named after the character dr. Terwilliker from the film that [dr. Seuss](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/dr._seuss) wrote: [the 5,000 fingers of dr. T](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/the_5,000_fingers_of_dr._t), he was actually named after terwilliger boulevard in portland, oregon.
development
in twenty-one seasons of the simpsons, sideshow bob has been heavily featured in ten episodes. [Kelsey grammer](/wiki/kelsey_grammer) initially thought that bob would be a one-time character, and calls him the most popular character ive ever played. The writers believe that grammer has a great voice and try to create something for him to sing in each episode he appears in. Grammer usually comes in for table readings, although when he cannot, gregg berger stands in for him. Former executive producer david mirkin found grammer a joy to direct as he was very funny but noted that he hates doing the evil sideshow bob laughs. A rule for the early episodes that featured bob was that there had to be a recap of his evil deeds in case the viewers did not remember them. The concept was dropped in later episodes or at least simplified.
sideshow bobs theme, which is used whenever bob gets out of prison, was first used in the season three episode [black widower](/wiki/black_widower), bobs second episode. It is based on the score of the movie [cape fear](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/cape_fear_(1962_film)), which was composed by elmer bernstein. The musical score for [cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare) earned composer alf clausen an emmy award nomination for outstanding dramatic underscore - series in 1994. Bobs prisoner number is often 24601, which is jean valjeans prisoner number in [les misérables](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/les_mis%c3%a9rables). Another trademark for bob is to step on rakes, a joke that first appeared in cape feare. In that episode, bob stepped on nine consecutive rakes, which the writers added to fill up time. The sequence has become known as the rake joke and has been referred to as being genius in its repetitive stupidity. His last name, terwilliger, may have been taken from george j. Terwilliger iii, a prominent republican lawyer who served as united states deputy attorney general under george hw bush.
grammer recorded lines for sideshow bob for [the simpsons movie](/wiki/the_simpsons_movie), but the scene in which he was to appear was cut.
reception
in a 2006 article, [ign.Com](http://www.Ign.Com) ranked bob in the second position on their list of the top 25 simpsons peripheral characters, citing that he is a man of contradictions; his goofy appearance, complete with palm tree-like hair, doesnt seem to match up to the well-spoken and even musically talented maniac. Wizard magazine rated bob as the 66th greatest villain of all time.
watchmojo placed sideshow bob as the 10th best simpsons side character and the #1 simpson villain, he surpassed mr. Burns.
wickedbinge placed sideshow bob as the evilest character in the simpsons, outranking even mr. Burns, who is considered to be the main antagonist of the series.
kelsey grammer has received praise for his voice work and in 2006, he won the primetime emmy award for outstanding voice-over performance for his performance as bob in the episode [the italian bob](/wiki/the_italian_bob). Grammer had previously won four in the outstanding lead actor in a comedy series category for his portrayal of frasier crane on frasier. In a 2007 interview, simpsons executive producer [al jean](/wiki/al_jean) listed grammer as his second favorite guest star, saying his voice is so rich. Mike bruno of entertainment weekly called kelsey grammer one of fourteen guest stars whose standout performances on tv make us wish theyd turn up in a simpsons movie 2. David hyde pierce was also included in that list. Ben rayner of the toronto star listed [cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare), [sideshow bobs last gleaming](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming) and [brother from another series](/wiki/brother_from_another_series) as being among the best episodes of the series, saying forget frasier, these are kelsey grammers best roles.
the production staff on the simpsons are usually excited about sideshow bob episodes as the writers consider them a treat to write, and the directors think they are always crazy and fun for them to animate.
many episodes featuring bob have been well received by fans and critics. [Cape feare](/wiki/cape_feare), the third episode to feature sideshow bob, is generally regarded as one of the best episodes of the simpsons, and according to matt groening, people often include it among their top 10 favorites. In entertainment weeklys top 25 the simpsons episodes ever, it was placed third. In 2006, ign.Com named cape feare the best episode of the fifth season. Vanity fair called it the shows fourth-best episode in 2007, as this episodes masterful integration of film parody and a recurring character puts it near the top.[30] associated content chose the score for this episode to be 11th place of all of the simpsons episodes. Grammers performance of h.M.S. Pinafore was later included on the album go simpsonic with the simpsons. The season 17 episode [the italian bob](/wiki/the_italian_bob) and its writer [john frink](/wiki/john_frink_(writer)) would win a writers guild of america award in 2007 in the animation category.
cultural influence
bob was made into an action figure, and two different versions were included as part of the [world of springfield](/wiki/world_of_springfield) toy line. The first shows bob as he was on [the krusty the clown show](/wiki/the_krusty_the_clown_show), and was released in 2001 as part of the [krustylu studios](/wiki/krustylu_studios) wave three playset. The second, released in 2002, has him in the prison uniform he wore in [sideshow bobs last gleaming](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming), and was a part of wave nine. He was also made into a collectable funko pop! Figure, being part of wave 3 of their simpsons series.
trivia
- bobs prisoner number is 24601, like
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner)s pow number, in reference to jean valjeans prisoner number in les misérables. However in [sideshow bobs last gleaming](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming) his prison number is a-113, another referenced number in the series. - In
[the simpsons road rage](/wiki/the_simpsons_road_rage), there is a wanted sign of sideshow bob in evergreen terrace. For some reason, he is named as sideshow bob roberts, perhaps as a nod to the episode of the same name from season six. - Bobs wanted sign also appears in the background of chief wiggums station in
[treehouse of horror v](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_v). - Bob shares many similarities with the character
[frasier crane](https://cheers.Fandom.Com/wiki/frasier_crane), from cheers, and later frasier, from voice to taste. In fact, in [the bob next door](/wiki/the_bob_next_door), when the simpsons gain a neighbor who sounds remarkably like sideshow bob, marge cites frasier to a panicked bart, saying a lot of people sound like sideshow bob.[Kelsey grammer](/wiki/kelsey_grammer)plays both frasier and bob, except in [krusty gets busted](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted), where kelsey still mostly voiced bob but shared lines with series regular[dan castellaneta](/wiki/dan_castellaneta). - Bobs brother cecil and their father
[robert terwilliger sr.](/Wiki/robert_terwilliger_sr.)Were played by david hyde pierce and the late john mahoney respectively, echoing the roles they played on frasier as frasiers brother niles and their father martin. Additionally, the arguments between bob and cecil in [brother from another series](/wiki/brother_from_another_series) are a homage to the arguments between frasier and niles in frasier. - In
[the simpsons arcade](/wiki/the_simpsons_arcade_(mobile)), he appears in stage 5 and helped the simpsons fight mr. Burns goons by giving them food which he was carrying in a food tray. - Despite not appearing in
[the simpsons movie](/wiki/the_simpsons_movie), kelsey grammer voiced bob in a deleted scene that is still unreleased for unknown reasons. According to the deleted scene, bob is among the angry townspeople heading towards the simpson residence, yelling out his intent to kill bart. However, moe reveals to bob that the townspeople actually only want to kill homer for polluting the lake and forcing the epa (led by[russ cargill](/wiki/russ_cargill)) to contain springfield inside a large glass dome, prompting bob to leave in disappointment upon being informed about this. -
[treehouse of horror xxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvi) marks his first appearance in a treehouse of horror episode. - He is the featured character on the
[season 17](/wiki/season_17)dvd/blu-ray box set. - In
[black widower](/wiki/black_widower), sideshow bob is implied to be a buddhist. - Despite having his plan of usurping krustys show foiled by bart, his plot initially worked when he received positive reviews and a reward for best tv personality given to him in prison.
appearances
[hd opening sequence](/wiki/opening_sequence#season_20,_starting_with_take_my_life,_please)— {{{1}}}- –
[](/wiki/the_telltale_head) - –
[](/wiki/krusty_gets_busted) - –
[](/wiki/bart_gets_an_%22f%22) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [itchy & scratchy & marge](/wiki/itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_marge) (picture)- –
[](/wiki/stark_raving_dad) - –
[](/wiki/bart_the_murderer) - –
[](/wiki/black_widower) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [lisas first word](/wiki/lisa%27s_first_word) (flashback, with aqua green hair)- –
[](/wiki/cape_feare) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [another simpsons clip show](/wiki/another_simpsons_clip_show) (flashback)- –
[](/wiki/sideshow_bob_roberts) [thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror v](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_v) (picture)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [who shot mr. Burns? (Part two)](/wiki/who_shot_mr._burns%3f_(part_two)) (name seen)- –
[](/wiki/sideshow_bob%27s_last_gleaming) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [bart the fink](/wiki/bart_the_fink) (mentioned)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the day the violence died](/wiki/the_day_the_violence_died) (mentioned)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [bart after dark](/wiki/bart_after_dark) (couch gag)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the itchy & scratchy & poochie show](/wiki/the_itchy_%26_scratchy_%26_poochie_show) (couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/brother_from_another_series) - –
[](/wiki/pokey_mom) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [worst episode ever](/wiki/worst_episode_ever) (picture)- –
[](/wiki/day_of_the_jackanapes) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [gump roast](/wiki/gump_roast) (clip)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [large marge](/wiki/large_marge) (promo image)- –
[](/wiki/the_great_louse_detective) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [mr. Spritz goes to washington](/wiki/mr._spritz_goes_to_washington) (picture)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [goo goo gai pan](/wiki/goo_goo_gai_pan) (seen on[david silverman](/wiki/david_silverman)s t-shirt)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [mobile homer](/wiki/mobile_homer) (disguised as homer; couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/the_italian_bob) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the mook, the chef, the wife and her homer](/wiki/the_mook,_the_chef,_the_wife_and_her_homer) (promo image)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [rome-old and julie-eh](/wiki/rome-old_and_julie-eh) (name seen)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [24 minutes](/wiki/24_minutes) (picture)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [you kent always say what you want](/wiki/you_kent_always_say_what_you_want) (picture)[–](https://static.Wikia.Nocookie.Net/simpsons/images/7/74/movie_logo_-_small.Png/revision/latest?Cb=20111004071454)[the simpsons movie](/wiki/the_simpsons_movie)(seen angry mob behind in deleted scene)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [funeral for a fiend](/wiki/funeral_for_a_fiend) (faking his death)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [eternal moonshine of the simpson mind](/wiki/eternal_moonshine_of_the_simpson_mind) (flashback)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [sex, pies, and idiot scrapes](/wiki/sex,_pies,_and_idiot_scrapes) (seen escaping from prison; picture also seen)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [take my life, please](/wiki/take_my_life,_please) (springfield wall of fame)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [how the test was won](/wiki/how_the_test_was_won) (couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/wedding_for_disaster) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [coming to homerica](/wiki/coming_to_homerica) (couch gag)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [o brother, where bart thou?](/Wiki/o_brother,_where_bart_thou%3f) (seen in barts dream along with his brother, cecil)- –
[](/wiki/american_history_x-cellent) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [chief of hearts](/wiki/chief_of_hearts) (picture only)- –
[](/wiki/the_bob_next_door) - –
[](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxii) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the man in the blue flannel pants](/wiki/the_man_in_the_blue_flannel_pants) (cog in homers head)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [holidays of future passed](/wiki/holidays_of_future_passed) (chalk outline)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [moe goes from rags to riches](/wiki/moe_goes_from_rags_to_riches) (couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/at_long_last_leave) - –
[](/wiki/moonshine_river) - –
[](/wiki/gone_abie_gone) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [a tree grows in springfield](/wiki/a_tree_grows_in_springfield) (title screen gag and logomania)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [gorgeous grampa](/wiki/gorgeous_grampa) (couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/dark_knight_court) - –
[](/wiki/homerland) [thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror xxiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxiv) (oh, the places youll doh!; Cameo)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the kid is all right](/wiki/the_kid_is_all_right) (musicville couch gag as a tambourine)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [white christmas blues](/wiki/white_christmas_blues) (billboard gag)- –
[](/wiki/the_man_who_grew_too_much) - –
[](/wiki/clown_in_the_dumps) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the simpsons guy](/wiki/the_simpsons_guy) (cameo)- –
[](/wiki/blazed_and_confused) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [i wont be home for christmas](/wiki/i_won%27t_be_home_for_christmas) (as a gingerbread man)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [my fare lady](/wiki/my_fare_lady) (seen in the pixel couch gag along with his brother, cecil)- –
[](/wiki/peeping_mom) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the kids are all fight](/wiki/the_kids_are_all_fight) (name seen)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [every mans dream](/wiki/every_man%27s_dream) (couch gag)[thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror xxvi](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvi) (wanted: dead, then alive)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [paths of glory](/wiki/paths_of_glory) (couch gag)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [teenage mutant milk-caused hurdles](/wiki/teenage_mutant_milk-caused_hurdles) (la-z rider couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/gal_of_constant_sorrow) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the burns cage](/wiki/the_burns_cage) (couch gag as an emoji)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [how lisa got her marge back](/wiki/how_lisa_got_her_marge_back) (mentioned)[thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror xxvii](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxvii) (intro and[outro](/wiki/600))[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [havana wild weekend](/wiki/havana_wild_weekend) (seen at the cuban airport)- –
[](/wiki/the_nightmare_after_krustmas) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [looking for mr. Goodbart](/wiki/looking_for_mr._goodbart) (couch gag)- –
[](/wiki/moho_house) - –
[](/wiki/the_serfsons) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [singin in the lane](/wiki/singin%27_in_the_lane) (couch gag, as a swordfish, and non-speaking cameo)- –
[](/wiki/gone_boy) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [3 scenes plus a tag from a marriage](/wiki/3_scenes_plus_a_tag_from_a_marriage) (flashback)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [barts not dead](/wiki/bart%27s_not_dead) (intro)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the girl on the bus](/wiki/the_girl_on_the_bus) (parodied)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [bart vs. Itchy & scratchy](/wiki/bart_vs._itchy_%26_scratchy) (picture)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [girls in the band](/wiki/girl%27s_in_the_band) (seen popping out of a sewer hole and running away)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [im just a girl who cant say doh](/wiki/i%27m_just_a_girl_who_can%27t_say_d%27oh) (picture)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [doh canada](/wiki/d%27oh_canada) (couch gag)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [woo-hoo dunnit?](/Wiki/woo-hoo_dunnit%3f) (name crossed out)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the fat blue line](/wiki/the_fat_blue_line) (tries to escape from prison but is hit by rake truck)[thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror xxx](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxx) (end credits)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [marge the lumberjill](/wiki/marge_the_lumberjill) (on sideshow mels phone)- –
[](/wiki/bobby,_it%27s_cold_outside) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the miseducation of lisa simpson](/wiki/the_miseducation_of_lisa_simpson) (as a skin for bart)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [i, carumbus](/wiki/i,_carumbus) (as a gladiator)- –
[](/wiki/meat_is_murder) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [pin gal](/wiki/pin_gal) (picture)[thoh](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_series)– [treehouse of horror xxxiv](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxiv) (ei8ht)[episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [barts brain](/wiki/bart%27s_brain) (parodies opening sequence)- –
[](/wiki/bart%27s_birthday) - –
[](/wiki/the_yellow_lotus) - –
[](/wiki/the_most_wonderful_time_of_the_year) - –
[](/wiki/treehouse_of_horror_xxxv) [episode](/wiki/list_of_episodes)– [the last man expanding](/wiki/the_last_man_expanding) (opening sequence)- music video –
[deep, deep trouble](/wiki/deep,_deep_trouble) - music video –
[do the bartman](/wiki/do_the_bartman) - –
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[comic book](/wiki/simpsons_comics)– milhouse the man, krusty in the can, and the great springfield frink-out- –
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[comic book](/wiki/simpsons_comics)– lisa the clown- –
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external links
citations
[?](#Cite_ref-29)the man who grew too much
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| The Simpsons: Hit & Run/Quotes |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (4 reads) | |
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M changed wiki quite to be closer to the actual game audio/dialogue.
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correcting quote; typo
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(homer and frink go to the ufo in the playground as frink gets sucked up and blows up) |
(homer and frink go to the ufo in the playground as frink gets sucked up and blows up) |
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? | [[Professor frink]]: |
+ | [[professor frink]]: nice alien craft. Now to just get out of the path of the... Tractor beam!!! Oh, its sucking me up! |
? | [[Homer simpson]]: (devilish laughter) boy, talking about hitting the nerd! (Continued |
+ | [[homer simpson]]: (devilish laughter) boy, talking about hitting the nerd! (Continued nefarious laughter). If i am going to kill these town filming, black car driving, cola poisoning, laser distributing, reality show filming monsters, i am going to need some more toxic waste! |
====theres something about monty==== |
====theres something about monty==== |
latest revision as of 01:58, 5 july 2025
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the main menu screen
abraham simpson: do you know where my family lives?
hans moleman: im a very lonely man.
professor frink: (indistinct gibberish)
barney gumble: hi there! (Burps)
dr. Nick riviera: hi, everybody!
snake jailbird: this town is so dumb.
introduction
(homer picks up coin; a tv commercial comes on.)
krusty the clown: hey, hey! Im endorsing a new cola, kids, and this one isnt poisonous to anybody!
announcer: that we know of.
krusty the clown: new-and-improved buzz cola is made from only the finest sugars and waters. Plus, it has a special ingredient — too hot, for the fda. Itll give you the get up and go; you need to do all the pathetic stuff you have to do. Try new and improved buzz cola.
homer simpson: (tempted) mmm... Cola. Must get buzz cola. (Walks out of view drooling)
barts tutorial tips
starting the game
xbox version
all right, player one... Uh, homer... I mean, homer. Use the left thumbstick to move around. This is called walking. Press the a button to jump and hold down the b button to run. Anytime youre in the air, hit jump again to get a little extra push.
gamecube version
all right, player one... Uh, homer... I mean, homer. Use the control stick to move around. This is called walking. Press the a button to jump and hold down the x button to run. Anytime youre in the air, hit jump again to get a little extra push.
ps2 version
all right, player one... Uh, homer... I mean, homer. Use the directional buttons or the left analog stick to move around. This is called walking. Press the x button to jump, and hold down the circle button to run. Anytime youre in the air, hit jump again to get a little extra push. Got it?
coins
homer: oooh! Brain like shiny things.
bart: yeah, great; those shiny things are called coins. Whenever you get enough of them, you can get a cool surprise.
collector cards
theyre some collector cards hidden all over springfield. Find the other ones and sweet reward is yours for the taking. If you want to get a closer look at the cards, you can see them from the pause menu. And dont get your stinky fingers on them, fatty!
gags
there are a bunch of these scattered in each level — little surprises are hidden inside each one. Be sure to come back again to see if theres something you missed.
wasp cameras
nobody knows why these things have turned up all over springfield. They always seem to show up when something exciting happens. I dont know what they are, but violence is always an appropriate response in the face of the unknown.
getting into your vehicle
xbox/gamecube version
press the y button to get into the car, and dont take all day. This is just the tutorial.
ps2 version
press the triangle button to get into the car, and dont take all day. This is just the tutorial.
driving vehicles
xbox version
okay, homeboy; heres how you drive this thing: press the a button to accelerate and use the left thumbstick or the directional pad to steer. The b button is your brake and reverse, and the x button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?
gamecube version
okay, homeboy; heres how you drive this thing: press the a button to accelerate and use the control stick or the directional pad to steer. The x button is your brake and reverse, and the b button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?
ps2 version
okay, homeboy; heres how you drive this crapbox: press the x button to accelerate, and use the left analog stick, or directional buttons to steer. The circle button is your brake and reverse, and the square button is your handbrake. You know, just like every driving game ever?
wrenches
way to go, homer! You the man! Collecting wrenches fixes your car.
breaking random objects
thats the stuff, psycho! And so it begins...
buildings
xbox/gamecube version
you can go inside certain buildings by pressing the y button. Oh, why did i agree to do this stupid tutorial? Its so boring!
ps2 version
you can go inside certain buildings by pressing the triangle button. Oh, why did i agree to do this stupid tutorial? Its so boring!
races
heres how this works: milhouse, nelson, and ralph run a series of races around town. Win all the races and youll get a new vehicle. Well, what are you waiting for?
wager races
if you really need to put the hammer down and drive, you can always enter these time trial races. They cost a little to enter, but they have a mucho dinero payoff.
destroying your vehicle
wow, you really homerized that car! Dont worry; just sit tight and everything will be as good as new. Why? Who knows. I just reads what they tells me!
level 1: from the couch to conspiracies
caravan park time trial
homer simpson: milhouse, you little weiner, what are you doing here?
milhouse van houten: patty and selma wont let me ride a bike without safety wheels unless i run the driving tests.
(homer prepares for a time trial while milhouse starts off)
milhouse van houten: 3, 2, 1!
(homer wins the time trial)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): this is so depressing. Im going to feed your drivers license to [jub-jub](/wiki/jub-jub).
rich district circuit race
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): i know you! Youre that kid who sells me bootleg cds on the street corner.
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): yeah, well, ive been having some legal problems lately, so im stuck running these races for the dmv. It was this or read to the elderly. Ugh....
(nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, 2, psyche! 1...
(homer wins the circuit race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): this is terrible. Im gonna drown my sorrows at the golden banana.
suburban-countryside checkpoint race
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hello, little son of the police chief little angel.
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): those nice man-ladies make me a race judge!
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 1, 1, 1, go!
(homer wins the checkpoint race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): ugh, this is worse than [jub-jub](/wiki/jub-jub) ate my cat.
the cola capers
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): homie, somebody ate every dessert in the house. I need you to run to the store and pick up some of that ice cream with the miniature pies in it.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): well, it must have been one of our kids — probably [milhouse](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten).
(homer arrives to the [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart) and speaks to apu)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hey, apu. Give me a cola and i need another bucket of ice cream with mini pies.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): what happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): well, i probably ate it. I dont remember things too good.
(after completing the mission)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): congratulations, homer. Mission complete. Go back home and talk to mom to start the next mission.
s-m-r-t
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): homie, lisa left for school without her science project. Can you get it to her?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): oh, do i have to?
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): you can drop it off on your way to work.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): and i have to go to work?!
(homer finally gives the science project to lisa before class)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): thanks for bringing me my model of the digestion system... Hey! Wheres the gall bladder?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): i got hungry, and it was a fig.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): it was modelling clay!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): ooooh...
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): by the way, dad, mom called. She says she needs to talk to you at home before you go to work.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): doh!
petty theft homer
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): homer, go talk to [ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders). He seems miffed, and poed.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): why me? Im the worlds greatest neighbor. I even have a mug to that effect.
(homer sees [ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders) outside his house and talks to him)
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): im all in a ditter, homer. So many of my possessions have disappeared. I called the police to find the culprit.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): culprit, eh?
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): my lawn mower, my cooler, my lawn chair, a family portrait; even [rod](/wiki/rod_flanders)s inhaler! What kind of sick individual would take this stuff?!
homers mind: oh no! I borrowed all of flanders stuff! Quick! Think of an excuse to get out of here!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): uh, excuse me. I have to go... Shuck some corn...
(homer finds neds tuxedo, lawnmower and needs to see barney near the petrol station and [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger) restaurant)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): whats next? Flanders cooler... I gave it to barney...
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (speaks to barney) uh, you remember that cooler i gave you for your birthday? Well, flanders wants it back.
[barney gumble](/wiki/barney_gumble): now what will i use for a toilet?
(homer collects flanders cooler, lawn chair, and then goes to find the portrait of the flanders family)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): almost done! Now i need flanders stupid picture of his stupid family.
(homer has now collected the family portrait and now finds the last possession - [rod flanders](/wiki/rod_flanders) inhaler)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): ok, last one. Now where did i use rods stupid inhaler? Duh, on top of the duff truck!
(homer finally receives rods inhaler and plans to return to the flanders house)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): now to return the stuff before the cops find me sitting alone talking to myself.
(homer gives ned back the missing possessions and asks for a reimbursement)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): flanders, look! I found your missing stuff. Now about that reward...
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): thanks, neighboroonie! Heres your reward — a prayer from the lords #1 man. Our father in heaven, bless this noble oaf.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): stupid flanders; getting happiness from religion.
office spaced
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): homie, youre late for work, and todays your workplace evaluation with mr. Smithers.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): ah! Hell find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live?! Only one person can help me — [lenny](/wiki/lenny_leonard)!
(homer drives to the [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger) by the cemetery)
[lenny leonard](/wiki/lenny_leonard): hey, homer. How about a breakfast churro?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): no time; tell me where to find mr. Smithers!
[lenny leonard](/wiki/lenny_leonard): yeah, i think i saw him at the [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart). More breakfast churros for lenny!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): im gonna need a car with a little more junk in the trunk if i want to take him out. I wonder if barney still has the plow king.
(homer sees barney for the use of his plow king)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): barney, can i borrow the plow king?
[barney gumble](/wiki/barney_gumble): take what you want, sexy leprechaun... Just dont shoot me with that dart gun... Ooohh...!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): whatever.
(homer drives over to the [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart) as he sees mr. Smithers and destroys his limousine)
[waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers): argh! My convertible! I just waxed and undercoated.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): thats what you get for expecting me to do the job for which i am paid.
blind big brother
(homer goes to his workstation and looks at the camera)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): oh, how can i sleep with that camera? Oh, sexy girls could be watching me from the internet! Stupid cameras! You should be smashed! Ill destroy you at your power source! Hahahahaha!!!
- (after destroying a power coupling) its not like anybody likes these things.
- (after destroying a power coupling) ha ha! Stupid like a fox!
- (after destroying a power coupling, in a mocking tone) if youre so smart, how come i broke you?
- (after destroying a power coupling) marge will clean this mess up later.
(homer goes around the power plant as he destroys every power coupling and then goes back to take a nap)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): finally; i can get some sleep.
(whistle blows)
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): (on an intercom) mindless drones! Return to your ugly families!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): doh!
movie 1: secret cameras and mysterious black vans
(homer is drinking the [buzz cola](/wiki/buzz_cola) he bought as he watches the news)
[kent brockman](/wiki/kent_brockman): ...The famous bearded cartoon creator incarcerated in a peruvian jail. In other news, local citizens are outraged over the discovery of surveillance cameras throughout the town. We go now to city hall where mayor quimby is filling questions from an angry mob.
[mayor of springfield](/wiki/mayor_of_springfield): these miniature cameras are an outrage. Spying on our womens dressing rooms, bathrooms, and locker rooms is unforgivable. I think i speak for all springfielders when i say, where is the sexy footage?!
[kent brockman](/wiki/kent_brockman): in other unexplained news, strange black vans have been appearing all over town.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (hiding himself with a curtain) marge... That black van is spying on us.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh, homie! Youre so sexy when youre paranoid...
flowers by irene
(after homer followed the surveillance van that leads to mr. Burns mansion)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): so, mr. Burns is behind all this. Evil spying is so like him, that wrinkled old monkey skeleton.
bonestorm storm
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): mr. Burns is spying on everybody! Weve got to follow him!
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): not now, homer! A new violent video game has hit the streets, and we need to get rid of it before it warps any children with its bloops and bleeps!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): but that game sounds awesome.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): and therefore should be destroyed!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (agreeing slightly) i guess...
(after homer and marge collects the bonestorms and head straight back home)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): if only kids would play more video games about sharing.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): marge you know i have more crazy plans. Now if youll excuse me, i have to go spy on my boss.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): hrmph...
the fat and furious
[carl carlson](/wiki/carl_carlson): hey, homer. You look like youre having one of your trademark adventures.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (acting crazy) danger... Mr. Burns... Mini cameras... Black vans!
[carl carlson](/wiki/carl_carlson): whoa, good thing im drunk!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): stupid drunk... Oh, no; hes going to warn burns! I cant believe im racing the same guy twice in one day.
(homer finally beats [waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers) in a race and meets [charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns))
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): c. Montgomery burns, i know youre guilty! Jaccuse!... Sir.
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): fine, i admit it. I had amelia earharts plane shot down. That hussy was getting too big for her jodhpurs.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): no, youre spying on [springfield](/wiki/springfield) with your [black vans](/wiki/surveillance_van) and [surveillance cameras](/wiki/wasp_camera).
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): black vans? Arent they connected with some pizziola concern?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): what?! They were only pizza vans?! Oh, im a class five idiot!
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): smithers, release the hounds! And if this oaf is an employee of the plant, fire him at once!
this old shanty
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hey, i know you. Youre in my dumb guys support group. Mind if i borrow your truck for a while?
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): no can do, mr. Fancy blue pants. I be gotten to finish up my daily chores, or else [brandine](/wiki/brandine_spuckler) aint makin her musk rat pie tonight.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): fine. Ill help you with your hillbilly chores.
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): ya help me bring out this seasons harvest and ill be takin you anywheres you be needin to go.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): woohoo!
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): firstmost, i want you to go to the gas station and get some of those cardyboard tubes. Yknow em? Ill be buildin me some indoor plumbin. When you finished with that, knock down all dem tomacco plants so the young-uns can clean em up for market. Heh.
(homer completes all of cletus errands and talks to him as he goes into his debt)
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): ok, city boy; ill help ya. You just yell in one of those magic talk boxes and ill come a runnin. Ah, dem things is crazy.
level 2: the hunt for bonestorm 2
motorway checkpoint race
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): hi, mr. Lisa! If you win, the [man-](/wiki/patty_bouvier)[ladies](/wiki/selma_bouvier) will give you a car.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): bring it.
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 5, 5, 5, 4!
(bart wins the checkpoint race in [downtown springfield](/wiki/downtown_springfield))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): not terrible.
commercial district time trial
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): milhouse! Whaddya doin here? I thought you had a 4 oclock wedgie from nelson.
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): i rescheduled. The dmv has us all doing these stupid races. This state should get some child labor laws!
(milhouse starts a race)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): 3, 2, 1!
(bart wins the time trial in [downtown springfield](/wiki/downtown_springfield))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): good work, bart. Next time you stay at our place, you can have a steamed vegetable of your choice.
town square circuit race
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (nervous) nelson, uh, why are you hanging around here?
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): stupid community service! I did market assaults (?) At [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart). Anyway, get your license and win some stupid prize from those jerks. (Nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, psyche! 2, psyche! 1, go!
(bart wins the checkpoint race in [downtown springfield](/wiki/downtown_springfield))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): atta boy, bart! Youre getting a birthday present this year.
detention deficit disorder
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i need to get the new bonestorm or ill be as uncool as milhouse!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): ...Im standing right here, bart...
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, thats great.
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): you better get out of here, bart! Principal skinner is looking for everyone who skipped school today. And when youre caught, its expulsion, bart — expulsion!
(bart gets into his vehicle and heads for the try-n-save, however [seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner) is in pursuit against him)
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): ill get you, bart! Like i got charlie in nam.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): fraid not.
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): fraid so.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): fraid not!
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): fraid so! Damn your lightning fast wits.
(bart finally loses skinner as he finds jimbo near the store)
[jimbo jones](/wiki/jimbo_jones): too late, losers; i got the last game! Four finger discount. Hur hur hur hur! Some [crazy lady](/wiki/marge_simpson) destroyed all the rest.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): when will they learn? Video games dont kill people; they just kill their minds!
weapons of mass delinquency
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): how am i going to get that new game?
[kearney zzyzwicz](/wiki/kearney_zzyzwicz): who cares? Video games are so late 90s. Illegal fireworks are all the rage now. Better make it snappy, though, if you wanna be a part of this trend.
(bart drives to [moes tavern](/wiki/moe%27s_tavern) where otto is hanging out outside [king toots music store](/wiki/king_toot%27s_music_store))
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): one box of your finest quality chinese frog launchers, please.
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): here you go. Two kilos and chinese sky candies. Theyll blow you away!
(bart grabs the fireworks and heads into the pub)
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): sorry, bart. I cant sell booze to a minor. It aint right.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): im here to buy fireworks.
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): oh, hell yeah! Heh!
(bart grabs the fireworks from moe and then heads over to city hall to talk to snake)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): one dozen of your best tijuana toilet crackers, my good man!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): here you go, kid. Now, dont blow your hand off... Or do. What do i care!
(bart grabs more fireworks and then he goes down to the police station to talk to ralph)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): ralph. Word in the hood is that you have access to your old mans fireworks stash.
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): fireworks make my ears yell!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): heres some gum drops, now make with the works!
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): my daddys gonna put you in jail! Bye!
(bart collects the last fireworks and chief wiggum sees him as he tries to catch him)
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): fireworks, eh? Youre looking at five consecutive life sentences... Of community service!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): this is bad, this is bad, this is bad!
(bart loses chief wiggum and the mission is successful)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i fought the law and i won!
vox nerduli
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, jabba the fat! You know where i can get a copy of bonestorm 2?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): i have no time to converse with you; i must be first to register my disgust on the internet regarding the new mcbain film. The action was dismal and the nudity was frustratingly fleeting. We need to get going.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): quick! To the fat-mobile! Hahaha!
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): yes, i suppose, but must we call it that?
(comic book guy and bart finally arrives at the java server before the nerd)
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): i am happy to report that your quest for bonestorm 2 is quite futile. [Professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink) posted a message on my news group, alt.Furryanimals.Fanfiction.Net, that he has bought up all of the remaining video games.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (moans)
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): i thank you not to moan in my mid-sized vehicle.
bart n frink
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i gotta play bonestorm 2! Gimme one!
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): no can do, my little pointy headed friend. I need the power of video game violence to run my latest invention/monster. If you find me a world war ii communication radio and a satellite, then my creation will live, and we can play with it and enjoy the frollicking.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): ohh, cool! Real violence is way better than tv violence! Its like a level boss come to life. Now who would have a world war ii radio? That [guy](/wiki/herman_hermann) that sells all those grenades to nelson might! I better check.
(bart follows one of the black pizza vans to hermans armory and sees chief wiggum)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, [springfield](/wiki/springfield)s lamest! Whats the deal?
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): didnt you hear? Hermans been robbed! Do you know who did it? Cause if you did, boy, that would be great.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): oh, no; now where am i gonna get a radio?
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): these fresh skid marks leading away from the scene of a crime could be a clue. But whose to say, really?
(bart goes to the intersection and finds snake nearby)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, snake. Whats up?
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): um, do i know you, little dude?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i need that radio you borrowed.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): no way, little dude. This radio is gonna help me score beaucoup de chicks!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): uh, last time i checked, chicks like fast cars, not vintage electronics. Why dont we race for the radio?
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): oh, i totally agree to your proposal!
(bart wins the race and gets the radio from snake)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): now where am i gonna find a satellite dish? Who has those, anymore? ...I know! White trash!
better than beef
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, there, mister slack-jawed yokel!
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): thatd be i.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): can i borrow your satellite dish?
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): sure, if ya help me scoop up my flatmeat, sophisticated city youngster. Those darn revenuers dont like me sellin roadkill.
(bart and cletus arrive back to [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger), but apu chases them down as they tend to lose him)
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): now all we gotta do is deliver these delicious goods to the buyer... I sure do hope they like dems snake-dogs because, heh, i do.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): please stop what you are doing! No one can sell rotten meat in this town, but me!
(bart and cletus finally lost apu and got back to [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger))
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): krusty burgers are made out of roadkill? That explains the tire tracks.
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): take this satellite dish as a reward. She gets fourteen channels includin the outhouse channel. Man, i love watchin that!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): thanks, inbred hillbilly.
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): twernt nothin.
monkey see, monkey doh
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): you expect me to complete a [mark 10 truckasaurus](/wiki/truckasaurus) without a blender? Why dont i just make a plasma blade without a tennis racquet, for flavin out loud. Now fetch me a blender with the puree and the frapee and the liquefy.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): now where am i gonna get a blender... Oh, dr. Nick! He loves blending grill drinks during surgery!
(bart heads down to the [screaming monkey medical research center](/wiki/screaming_monkey_medical_research_center) and talks to doctor nick)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hi, dr. Nick!
[dr. Nick riviera](/wiki/dr._nick_riviera): hi, everybody!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): you seem like a heavy drinker. Do you have a blender?
[dr. Nick riviera](/wiki/dr._nick_riviera): not now, okay? My monkeys have escaped! Can you catch them for me? Ill be so grateful.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): why wont they come back to you?
[dr. Nick riviera](/wiki/dr._nick_riviera): because i have tortured them horribly, silly!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): theres no way ill be able to fit all of those monkeys into my car. I better get a big truck or something.
(bart drives over to homer in the hospitals car park)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i need your [truck](/wiki/mr._plow), homer.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): why should i give you that?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): because i love you.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (laughs) pay up, sucker!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): youre charging your own son?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): yeah, i guess i am.
(bart collects all the monkeys and brings them back to doctor nick before they could escape from [springfield](/wiki/springfield))
[dr. Nick riviera](/wiki/dr._nick_riviera): welcome home, daddys little angels. Now to put electrodes in your brains!
cell-outs
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): heres your last doo-dad, so can i see the truckosaurus thing.
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): yes... Is a word i would love to be able to say. Unfortunately, there are too many people using cellphones and the interference would then cause the monster to malfunction and kill many people. And my insurance is already sky high with the premiums and the shmemiums.
(bart goes around the city as he destroys every car with cellphone users and then goes back to the stadium)
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): well done, my little sociopath! Gla-hady!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i like to smash.
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): now there is no chance my truckasaurus will go on a killing rampage with the screaming and the sadness and the hosing of blood off the robot.
movie 2: truckosaurus taming
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): wow, [truckasaurus](/wiki/truckasaurus) is some kind of truck/dinosaur! I never would have guessed.
(suddenly the truckasaurus looks at bart)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): uh oh.
(the truckasaurus roars as it swats its tail at bart as he drives through the exit then the truckasaurus spews fire at him but survives the blaze)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): yes! Everybody do the bart man!
(suddenly a huge shadow appears surrounding bart as the green bright light surrounds him as it abducts him)
dial b for blood
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i need your car from the war.
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): the war?! What, is the kaiser at it again? Ill teach him! He stole my best girl and my best box of saltwater taffy!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): grampa, youre not making any sense.
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): im tired because i let jasper borrow my blood; i didnt think id need it... (Groans)
(bart collects blood from the plasma center and goes to [moes tavern](/wiki/moe%27s_tavern))
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): finding blood is easy — id make a great vampire... I hope that is enough.
(bart enters the tavern and talks to moe)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): moe, do you have any human blood?
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): nah. What about goat blood?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): sure. Why not?
(bart collects the bag of blood from moe and then heads to [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger) near the construction site)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): ill meet a hard man, next time.
(bart speaks to [squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen))
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): do you have any blood?
[squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen): would you like fries with that?
(bart goes back to where abraham is and gives the blood back to him)
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): ah, nice and warm, just how i like it.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): is that enough? I need another car.
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): take it! Oh, im going to pour this on my flapjacks!
level 3: oh bart, where art thou?
docks time trial
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): milhouse, are you working here?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): its not so bad. I get a green cookie on patricks day, but it comes out of my paycheck.
(milhouse starts the race)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): 3, 2, go!
(lisa wins the time trial)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): atta girl, lisa. You have been noted on your permanent record.
hillside area circuit race
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): oh. Hi, nelson. Why, this is a surprise.
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): oh, the pleasure is all mine. Ill be your starting man for this mission.
(nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, 2... Loser-says-what?
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): what?
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): ha ha! 1, go!
(lisa wins the circuit race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): im speechless, lisa. That was better than you have any right to do.
[squidport](/wiki/squidport) checkpoint race
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): why are you working here?
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): daddy says i should stay here until i learned how to control myself at the hardware store. Brum brum!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): right... Ill just start racing.
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 1, 1, 1, go!
(lisa wins the checkpoint race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): she must get her driving ability from her mothers side.
*lisa checks the ticket at the [androids dungeon](/wiki/the_android%27s_dungeon_%26_baseball_card_shop)*
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): hey, dont touch that! That is a ticket to the unreleased itchy and scratchy episode! I will only trade it for a complete set of collector cards! Please do note: i said complete! I am not going through all that crap again!!
so few cards! I laugh at you! Haha!
card collection completion
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): a complete set! Oh, i think i just formatted my pants!
nerd race queen
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): i need to find my stupid brother. Have you seen him?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): yes, yes; cant talk, now. I must get the last copy of the new itchy and scratchy adventures comic. Its the controversial issue in which they finally kiss! Assist me and i will aid you with your dilemma.
(lisa and comic book guy beat the nerd to the itchy & scratchy comic store and gets the itchy & scratchy adventures comic book as they get it back to [the androids dungeon & baseball card shop](/wiki/the_android%27s_dungeon_%26_baseball_card_shop) before deterioration)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): now can you tell me if youve seen my pointy-headed nuisance?!
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): silence. I must get this comic into a mylar bag before it deteriorates to near-mint condition, heaven forbid!
(lisa and comic book guy head back to [the androids dungeon & baseball card shop](/wiki/the_android%27s_dungeon_%26_baseball_card_shop))
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): now to get this inky treasure into its mylar sanctuary.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): what about bart? I asked have you seen him.
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): i think i saw him at the noiseland arcade. Ah video games. What a waste of money. Now to go online and bid $1000 for itchy and scratchy corn-cob holders. Terrific, terrific expense.
clueless
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): milhouse! Has bart been here?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): uh, i havent seen him. Hey, can i buy you a frozen yogurt? Ill throw in two dry toppings or one wet topping.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): barts disappeared! You have to help me find him!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): well, he might be at the [wall e. Weasels](/wiki/wall_e._weasel%27s). He likes the smell of the ball cage.
(lisa heads for the [wall e. Weasels](/wiki/wall_e._weasel%27s) and milhouse appears to be there)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): milhouse? What are you doing here?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): lisa, what a coincidence! Hey, is that a new dress?
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): no, ive been wearing this dress for years! Now, wheres bart?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): (sighs) i think hes at the [planet hype](/wiki/planet_hype).
(lisa drives over to the [planet hype](/wiki/planet_hype) and sees milhouse who mysteriously appears)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): oh, hi, lisa. Fancy meeting you here.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): stop following me!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): i heard barts out by the [springfield sign](/wiki/springfield_sign). Perhaps youd like to share some chewing gum.
(lisa drives over to the [springfield sign](/wiki/springfield_sign) and sees milhouse for the last time)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): hi, lisa. My your hair looks pointy today.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): milhouse, have you seen bart or not?!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): so, lisa, do you have a date for the harvest dance?
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): this is not a good time!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): its never a good time! (Cries)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): bart always hung out at the [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart). Maybe apu has seen him.
bonfire of the manatees
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, this is terrible. A very bad man is delivering road kill to all the krusty burgers which are cheaper than my kwik-e-dogs!
(apu and lisa collect all the roadkill to save apus business then lisa needs gen on finding answers on searching for bart)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): (giggles) that was pretty cool! But barts still missing and im still no closer to finding him.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): perhaps you should talk to [professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink) at the observatory. He seems to know everything... Except why i ever came to this jerkwater burg.
(lisa arrives at the observatory and speaks to professor frink)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): professor frink! Professor frink! My brother, bart, is missing. Have you seen him?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): well, lets see, now: bart helped me build a monster and then disappeared into a bright light.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): wow! This is crazy. I need someone to talk to who is wise and learned.
operation hellfish
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): grandpa, can you help me find bart? Hes missing!
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): maybe im just a senile old man, but barts lucky red hat fell out of that black car.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): wow, grandpa; what a great clue! You showed why senior citizens are valuable members of the community!
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): i think my baby teeth are growing back. Thats why i had to punch that nurse.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): i better get something big if i want to take that car out — like that [school bus](/wiki/school_bus)!
(lisa sees otto at the [kamp krusty](/wiki/kamp_krusty))
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): otto, i know im a little young to be asking this...
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): look, i dont have any special brownies left! I ate them all.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): but do you think i can use your school bus?
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): oh, right. Cool. Meet my price and shes all yours, little lady!
(lisa destroys all of the government agent cars to find any clues but all of them were empty)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): (gasps) its empty! Whats going on in this town?
slithery sleuthing
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): excuse me, chief wiggum. Can you help? Ive gotta find my brother.
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): uh, sorr,y little girl. Im busy collecting evidence on jailbird. Were busting him on the three strikes law.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): how many strikes do you have so far?
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): uhh, no strikes, but thats only because im a very, very bad cop. Now, first of all, if youre gonna go undercover, you will need a disguise.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): you mean like an eye patch?
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): hey, good one! If we could afford a disguise like that, i wouldnt be getting paid in potato chip coupons.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): so, what disguise do you have?
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): well, heres one of ralphs old halloween costumes.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): fine. Wait here while i get changed.
(chief wiggum collects one of [snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird)s evidence)
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): strike one: counterfeit designer jeans, the foulest of all crimes.
(chief wiggum collects another of [snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird)s evidence)
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): strike two: running over an elderly person without a license.
(chief wiggum collects all the evidence and goes back to [mr. Burns casino](/wiki/mr._burns%27_casino))
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): and strike three: littering. Alright, we got all we need on this low-life. Now, about your brother. Ive seen lots of mysterious government types over at the docks. Maybe they sent him on a nice cruise. They got some good deals these days. Five buffets per boat inclusive.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): thanks, chief! You are a good cop, after all.
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): aw, youre just saying that!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): yes, i am!
fishy deals
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): chief wiggum said that there were strange stuff going on around here. Have you noticed anything weird? You know, black sedans, guys with dark glasses...
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister): yargh, maybe i seen somethin, and maybe i havent. Render me a favor and it might jar me memory. Ha-ha!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): what favor?
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister) : ive got a shipment here of live mackerel. Can ye navigate the fishies to the finest restaurants in the squidport.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): those poor fish! I mean, sure, ill help.
(lisa collects fish #1)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): one fish delivered to a happy home.
(lisa collects two more fish)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): have a good life!
(lisa collects the fourth fish)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): theres plenty of good living here.
(as lisa keeps collecting fish, in order:)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): now youll never be fried and served with tartar sauce.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): next time, watch out for nets, dummy.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): return to the wild!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): freeeeeeedoooooommm!!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): savor your freedom, my cold-blooded friend.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): thats that. Now maybe that two-bit ahab will tell me what he knows.
the old pirate and the sea
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister): argh, thanks for delivering me catch of the day. Now, i can tell ye, i saw your brother.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): really?! Thats great.
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister): aye, he was in a long, black limo and... Ahoy, there she drove!
(lisa destroys the black limousine without bart inside it and goes back to mccallister)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): oh god, i destroyed the limo and killed bart!
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister): haha, no murder ye be. He wasnt in the limo. He got out and boarded that ship.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): can you take me there?
[captain horatio mccallister](/wiki/captain_horatio_mccallister): nah, i hate the sea.
(lisa goes aboard the c-spanker and finally finds bart)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): bart, i found you!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (indistinct dialect; the only discernable words are cola and sedans)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): bart! Bart! Snap out of it! Oh, ive gotta wake him up. Bart, how old are you?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (more indistinct dialect)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): whats your favorite catch phrase?!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): kiss my grits! (More indistinct dialect)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): its no use! His brain is even more broken than usual. Ill have to take you home... And get you a diaper.
princi-pal
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): principal skinner! Barts missing!
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): barts gone?! What a tragedy! Uh, to get your this mind off this terrible loss which we all feel, why wont you help me run some errands... Or as i call them, grief helpers for me.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): but barts only missing!
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): well, looking for that little monster, i mean... Treasure, i cant help anything. You might as well pick up mothers dry cleaning for me.
(lisa and seymour collects agnes laundry and heads for the [krusty burger](/wiki/krusty_burger) near [androids dungeon & baseball card shop](/wiki/android%27s_dungeon_%26_baseball_card_shop) to get principal skinners dinner)
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): well, mother loves clean house traces and all lady underwear.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): uh, principal skinner, i should really get back to my search.
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): maybe these gold stars help change your mind?
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): (sighs) alright...
(lisa talks to the [squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen))
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): i need principal skinners dinner.
[squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen): here, would you like a [krusty ribwich](/wiki/ribwich)?
[squeaky-voiced teen](/wiki/squeaky-voiced_teen): oh, theres no meat in it. Just paste and msg.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): principal skinner, i cant help you anymore. I need to search for bart.
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): lisa, i apologize from the bottom of my vietnam veterans heart. I promise this next stop will be the last.
(lisa heads for mr. Burns casino to see doctor nick)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): uh, doctor nick, im here to pick up principal skinners personal items.
[dr. Nick riviera](/wiki/dr._nick_riviera): hi, little girl! Aw, youre so cute! Here is principal skinners anti-fungal cream.
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): eww...
(lisa and seymour returns to the noiseland arcade)
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): there. I got mothers laundry, dinner for edna and me, and uh, personal items. Now if you just help me find a place to carry mothers favorite canned aspex--
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): (annoyed) this is ridiculous! I cant keep doing errands for you; i got to find bart!
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): for helping me with my ridiculous errands, i suppose i owe you something: if you need help for recovering your brothers body, uh, living body, give me a call.
level 4: an evening with marge
encounter with [groundskeeper willie](/wiki/groundskeeper_willie)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): willie, what are you doing here?
[groundskeeper willie](/wiki/groundskeeper_willie): eh, i got to sell my beloved tractor. Me fathers been thrown in the clink for football hooliganism and ive nae money for his bail.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): well, i could certainly use a tractor around the house for hauling away homers empties.
mansion and nuclear power plant time trial
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): hello, milhouse. What are you doing here?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): patty and selma traps me in debt slavery so i can get a job from them now.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): well, im sure its building character.
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): youll have to win these races and youll get yourself a new car or something. I dont know... Im so tired.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): sounds like fun! Hang in there!
(milhouse starts the race; apparently hes not feeling well)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): (groans) the car fumes are making me dizzy!
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): just do it!
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): 3... 2... (Coughs and hacks) 1... Ugh...
(marge wins the time trial)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): (disappointed) i wish i could be happy for your success...But i cant.
rich district circuit race ii
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): hey, q-tip! If you win a race, ill give you a car!
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): the name is marge, thank you!
(nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, 2 — ah, just go already.
(marge wins the circuit race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): well, i guess your life hasnt been a total waste.
suburban-rich district checkpoint race ii
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): little ralphy wiggum! How are you?
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): candy makes me happy and tired.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): so, what are you doing here?
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): two ugly monsters called patty and selma say you have to race.
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 6, 12, 1, go!
(marge wins the checkpoint race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): good work, marjorie; youre finally turning your life around.
for a few donuts more
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (some indistinct dialogue)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh... Oh, bart... Whats causing your ooga-booga talk? My special little guys noodle has turned to google. The whole towns gone nuts. Security cameras, mysterious vans, crop circles. Theres got to be a connection. Maybe the police know something.
(marge goes outside and follows chief wiggum to [lard lad donuts](/wiki/lard_lad_donuts))
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): chief wiggum, i need you to find out what happened to bart. Can you show me where the crop circle is? Theres got to be a clue to curing bart.
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): oh, thats cute. Id love to help, but i have sugar withdraw real bad, the donut store is closed, and ive got a monkey on my back screaming for crullers. Oh, hes screaming.
(marge hits the doughnut van and collects 10 doughnuts, after that she returns to chief wiggum for his snack)
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): boy, for a busybody house wife, you sure get results. That crop circles at cletus shack. Now, if youll excuse me, i have a truck load of doughnuts to eat. Im gonna need a lot of coffee (giggles).
redneck roundup
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): excuse me...
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): i dont care if you is from new york! You aint takin pictures outta decrepitude for no magazines! No way...
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): no, cletus; its me, marge! Marge!
ketchup logic
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): youve got to help me. I have to find out what happened to my baby boy.
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): oh, im sorry. I thought you was a city slicker, but i aint tellin ya nothin, unless you help us with the harvest.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): harvest? If im gonna be doing yard work, i better change or my next mission will be to get mud stains out of green rayon.
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): we need dem ketchup packets people done throwed out ta feast on durin the long winter. Help me fetch em!
(after collecting three ketchup packets)
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): hey, i know another dumpster round here somewheres. I can feel it in my stankbone.
(marge and cletus collects all the ketchup that was needed for the winter and goes back to the petrol station)
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): now, about your query, my granpappy saw one of dem corn drawins once, but hes with allah, now. Ya might should ask some other folks bout it. Maybe try round the graveyard.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): thanks, cletus!
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): twernt nothin.
return of the nearly-dead
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): um, excuse me, hans moleman... Can you help me?
[hans moleman](/wiki/hans_moleman): shh. Im hiding from the police. If the police find me out past curfew, theyll throw me in jail. I wont survive another night in jail.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): well, i was wondering if youve ever seen a crop circle?
[hans moleman](/wiki/hans_moleman): talk to a-abe. He mentioned crop circles once. Hurry up and get to the home before the police lock the doors.
(marges drives back to the simpsons house)
wolves stole my pills
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): grandpa, do you know anything about crop circles?
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): what?! (Signs) i cant tell you about crop circles, now. Those lousy renegades stole my pills. Without my aggroleve, ill start biting nurses. You dont need a lawsuit, you gosh darn... Crop... Circles... Aggroleve...
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh, dear!
(marge heads over to the [springfield elementary school](/wiki/springfield_elementary_school) and finds nelson)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): how can you hooligans steal an old mans medication? You give them back, right now!
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): oh, we traded them to some dudes in a black car for these playdudes. Check it out, man; this one has an interview with the guy who invented the wa-wa-panel.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): hmmm.
(marge chases a government agent car with pills as she collects ten of them and heads back to abraham)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): heres your crazy medicine, grandpa.
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): hot diggity! Sweet, sweet medication! Gimme, gimme, gimme! (Snores)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh, great; now i need something to wake him up.
movie 3: pills craze (and the whole truth about crop circles)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): maybe these will jog your memory.
(wakes abraham up)
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): huh?! What?!
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): (slams drawer and grunts frustratingly) for the last freaking time, tell me about the crop circles!
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): there i was surrounded, by tojo and his nazi henchmen when one of them, a raccoon as i recall, hits me with a banjo! Now, i never reasoned with a raccoon before, let alone a nazi one, so i...
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): grandpa, what does this have to do with the crop circle?
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): not a thing! Where was i? Right! Now, the first time i rode in a watertower......
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): crop circle!
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): ok, ok! It was so long ago i have to tell it in sepia tone.
(camera zooms in on the moon; color changes to sepia tone)
well, as i recall, it was sort of a cosmic kinda thing. Shaped kinda like a planet with an old fashioned radio antenna comin off it.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): a planet with an antenna? That sounds awfully familiar. I think it was at the kwik-e-mart... Thats it! It was on a bottle of pop! Maybe that will jog barts memory!
the cola wars
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): bart, do you recognize this design?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (some indistinct dialect) thats the alien mind control cola! They gave us tons of that up in the alien spaceship! [They](/wiki/kang)[re](/wiki/kodos) using it to make the town go crazy!
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh, thank god youve snapped out of your trance! I was so worried...
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): later. Im going to the [arcade](/wiki/noiseland_video_arcade).
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): this conspiracy goes all the way to the top. Im gonna need a little extra fire power... As [officer marge](/wiki/the_springfield_connection)!
(marge collects all the coke cans and goes to the [kwik-e-mart](/wiki/kwik-e-mart))
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): i bet apu knows whos selling the cola.
from outer space
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): apu, i think you should be aware that youre selling a tainted cola. Wheres this stuff coming from?
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, there is little here not tainted in some way. Even the astrologists i know give poor advice. But i will get to the bottom of this.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): well, it made bart go crazy, and if i find the distributors, im gonna give them a piece of my mind!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): careful, mrs. Simpson. This cola makes people do irrational things without guilt. It is as though they have bottled the effects of a raging frat kegger.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): thats it! Im going after them and any other evil cola trucks i can find!
(marge destroys the first evil cola truck)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): ill get you, you evil cola bottlers and distributors!
(marge destroys the second evil cola truck)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): eat canyonero!
(marge heads back home but it turns out that chief wiggum wants his cola back and he will stop her so marge will have to lose him)
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): that is settled. Now to go home to my family.
(wiggum appears; poed over marges crusade)
[clancy wiggum](/wiki/clancy_wiggum): you took my precious cola, marge! It is the only thing that gives me the courage to take off my shirt in the station locker room! Youre going down!
beached love
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): mr. Guy? What are you doing here?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): well, ive been trying to convince [agnes](/wiki/agnes_skinner) to make fun of schoolchildren, but she refuses to go out with me. That [son of hers](/wiki/seymour_skinner) intercepts every gift i send her and hides them in his workplace. He is a jerk and a fool.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): why not just go get them back?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): i would, but... Well, im not a terribly mobile person. There. I said it.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): oh, i know... Its not easy being husky. Tell you what: ill take care of this for you if you help me take care of some things.
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): by the moons of zanthor, it is a pact — the bond is made. The agreement is sacred under the vows of the knights who say—
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): ok, ok; i get it! Sheesh!
(marge heads over to the [springfield elementary school](/wiki/springfield_elementary_school) to collect the intercepted gifts and then heads back to the [comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy))
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): well, thats them! My laundry.
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): thank you very much. Now i can see my beloveds sneer again. Heres my number. Give me a call if you want to hear my theories of why krusty has jumped the shark. Good day.
level 5: the apu redemption
entertainment district time trial
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): hello, little customer! Are you here to help me in some fashion?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): your nachos have hair in them!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): the hair is your protein.
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): ok, well... You have to race, now.
(milhouse starts the race)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): 3, 2, 1, drive!
(apu wins the time trial)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): you did great, apu. Youve qualified for your license. Big deal; you still work in a convenience store.
commercial district circuit race
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): hello, little hoodlum! What is causing you to be standing here now?
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): im supervising the bonus race, doo-rag.
(nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, 2—floor it, loser!
(apu wins the circuit race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): you did better than the american drivers!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): i am american!
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): sure you are. Thats great.
entertainment-commercial checkpoint race
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): hey, arent you the boy who almost drowned in the nacho cheese?
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): i was in the newspaper!
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 6, 12, 1, go!
(apu wins the checkpoint race)
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): you did pretty good out there. Is there a [miss nahasapatta-whatever](/wiki/manjula_nahasapeemapetilon)?
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): thank for god there is!
incriminating caffeine
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, i have been selling tainted cola! Unless i redeem myself, i will be reincarnated as a sea cucumber, or worse — a land cucumber! I must find the source of this evil beverage! The soda in-voice commanded i come here, but i see no cola factory. Ooh, a cola truck. Time for me to do that hindu that i do!
(apu follows the cola truck all the way to the entertainment district that stops by the gentlemens club)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): the [legitimate businessmans social club](/wiki/legitimate_businessman%27s_social_club)... Looks like apu nahasapeemapetilon is taking on... The mob.
...And baby makes eight
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): hello, stereo-typical italians. Pleased to tell me the source of the evil cola.
[louie (mafia)](/wiki/louie_(mafia)): we dont know nothin... Except that the vans are controlled by mysterious strangers. Anyway, you shouldnt stick your nose into other peoples business. It could come back to haunt you... And your family.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, my gosh! Your thinly veiled threat has reminded me of my fatherly duties! I am supposed to pick up the octuplets at the doctors!
eight is too much
[julius hibbert](/wiki/julius_hibbert): im afraid we have a medical emergency.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, no! My babies!
[julius hibbert](/wiki/julius_hibbert): your babies are about to go to the bathroom all over my waiting room and diapers arent covered by your insurance. Ooh, you better hurry! I heard the parents of the shelbyville 9 are grabbing every diaper in town!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): i will get the diapers, but there is no way i will be able to fit them in my car. Maybe mr. Homer will have a [large gas-guzzling american vehicle](/wiki/the_homer) that i can use...
(apu goes over to the hospital car park for homers car)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): mr. Homer, sir, do you have an over-sized vehicle that i might be borrowing?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): borrowing, no. Selling to you at an insanely high price, yes.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): fine, whatever.
(apu collects the diapers from the shelbyville van and goes back to hibbert)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): quickly; cover my incontinent childrens tushies!
[julius hibbert](/wiki/julius_hibbert): whoa, that was close. Another minute and my office would look like the ganges river.
this little piggy
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): hello, famous american clown! I wish to ask a favor.
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown): everyone wants to wet their beaks (groans).
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): i require information about trucks delivering evil cola. How can i get this classified data?
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown): sorry, ap., Im a drunk, squeezy, punchy lowlife. You need a professional scumbag. Follow a cop until you find one. Youll have better luck if ya, you know, look american.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): thank you, horrible man!
never trust a snake
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): hand over your wallet, dude; this is totally a mugging.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): what good luck! A criminal!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): huh?
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): well, surely a violent, filth bag such as yourself could find out who is driving the black cola vans.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): well, i do have a connection with the dmv, but it will cost you. You have to pick up the litter for my community service.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): it is a deal.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): deal, now hand over your wallet.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): yes, yes, whatever.
(apu has collected all the rubbish from the commercial district and goes back to snake at the dmv)
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): my friend has the information in the dmv. Pick it up, pronto.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, thank you, thank you, my violent associate!
(apu goes inside the dmv and collects the folder, it turns out to be empty)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): empty! I am the victim of chicanery most vile!
kwik cash
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): sir, this folder is empty! To rob me is one thing, but i never expected you to lie!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): dude, relax, ok? Ive got the info you need. I just need help on a little more community service. (Chuckles) oh, im totally evil.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): i should know better to trust the demented chuckle, but ok.
(snake and apu drive to the [springfield googolplex theatres](/wiki/springfield_googolplex_theatres) and destroy the armored van, then they return to snakes hideout)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): what service could this be in the community?
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): shut up and take us to the hideout — i mean, charity... Place.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): (threatening snake) if you do not tell me who owns the cola trucks, then i will be forced to use... Profanity.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): ok, ok; dont go nuts! Look, the cola trucks are registered to the museum.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): the museum? Each level of this adventure is more exciting than the last!
curious curator
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): oh, mr. Bart! I have discovered that the evil cola is being made in the springfield museum!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): but that closes in five minutes!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): and my car is out of gas!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): just fill it up at the kwik-e-mart!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): with those prices? No way!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): fine, well take my car.
movie 4: one night at the museum
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i never thought id say this, but im actually excited to be going to a museum!
(he and apu approach the meteor that contains buzz cola, which is leaking)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): sheba eech vishnu! The cola is dripping from that meteor!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): cool! Free deadly cola!
(the cola that is dripping from the meteor goes into the tyrannosaurus rex skeletons nose, causing the dinosaur to come to life as its eyes glow bright red; bart and apu back away when suddenly, bart trips over the cord powering the meteor and the meteor explodes)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): we did it! We destroyed a priceless, archeological artifact!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): what?! We?! I did all the driving!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): now lets find out who is behind all this strange cola business.
(apu and bart go inside a large vent and they are at the end where the barrier is)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i know its a cliché, but... [¡Ay carumba!](/Wiki/%c2%a1ay,_caramba!)
(the camera pans over [kang](/wiki/kang) and [kodos](/wiki/kodos), who are responsible for the coke distributions, [kodos](/wiki/kodos) is having a bath whilst [kang](/wiki/kang) is reading a magazine)
[kang](/wiki/kang): [kodos](/wiki/kodos), look at these space ratings for foolish earthlings.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): what happened kang? Foolish earthlings used to be the number one reality show in the galaxy. Space viewers couldnt get enough of these humans and their behavior.
[kang](/wiki/kang): our show is down in all key demos.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): but our show concept was so perfect. We filmed these idiotic bipeds with hidden cameras and beamed it into every television in the galaxy.
(a tv with the point of view of one of the wasp cameras show [groundskeeper willie](/wiki/groundskeeper_willie) stepping on a rake and getting hit in the face by it since [sideshow bob](/wiki/sideshow_bob))
[groundskeeper willie](/wiki/groundskeeper_willie): (he always says this in levels 1, 4 and 7 when the player is in the [springfield elementary school](/wiki/springfield_elementary_school)) ill cover your mockers!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): these aliens have been secretly filming an intergalactic reality show in [springfield](/wiki/springfield)!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): i knew there was a simple explanation.
[kang](/wiki/kang): im going to introduce the evil cola into the water supply! People will go mad!
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): i like it!
[kang](/wiki/kang): then we distribute laser guns at the [squidport](/wiki/squidport) tourist area!
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): i like it!
[kang](/wiki/kang): the cola-madden humans will go berserk...
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): i like it!
[kang](/wiki/kang): destroying themselves and their town!
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): delivering big, big space ratings for foolish earthlings.
(kang and kodos guffaw evilly at their diabolical plan)
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): weve got to prevent the aliens from putting laser guns in the hands of cola-drunk townspeople!
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): why? That sounds hilarious! Id watch that show!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): (facepalms) tell you what: youre a bad little boy.
kinky frinky
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): excuse me, mr. Shopkeeper person. Have you seen a hovering death machine?
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): no — nothing specifically of the hovering kind, no.
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): oh! This was to be my greatest invention since sideburns in a can! They make you handsome and lovely.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): what are you talking about?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): i call it the [hover car™](/wiki/hover_car). Dont try to steal the name; its tmd. I installed the onboard computer and it came alive and attacked my person! For the love of thats glavin, youve got to help me, here!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): ok... What on earth will i do?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): knock that flushigginuh thing off the road before the authorities come in and take me away, again. Prison aint kind to pencil-necked geeks like myself; they stomp and they kick...
(apu disables the [hover car](/wiki/hover_car) and goes back to frink)
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): great work my hindu friend!
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): whoa, do not patronize my faith, ok?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): sorry. Terribly sorry. Look, if you need a ride, instant message my cortex — by which i mean call me. Mwa-hay!
level 6: go, speed laser, go!
[squidport](/wiki/squidport) tourist resort time trial
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): milhouse, still working for the man i see?
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): ive decided to buckle under and accept it. The money i earn goes towards my dads child support payments.
(milhouse starts the race)
[milhouse van houten](/wiki/milhouse_van_houten): 3, 2, 1!
(bart wins the time trial in [squidport](/wiki/squidport))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): that was just barely a pass, even on our low standards, bart.
casino circuit race
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, nelson, hows work been?
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): im not allowed to beat anyone when im on the job. That takes them getting used to.
(nelson starts the race)
[nelson muntz](/wiki/nelson_muntz): 3, 2, 1, blow!
(bart wins the circuit race in [squidport](/wiki/squidport))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): youre a regular land surfer, bart. Without the full button cast, of course.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): give it time.
[squidport](/wiki/squidport) checkpoint race ii
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): you and me are having a play-date. You race and ill watch.
(ralph starts the race)
[ralph wiggum](/wiki/ralph_wiggum): 3, 2, 1, i did it! I counted!
(bart wins the checkpoint race in [squidport](/wiki/squidport))
[patty bouvier](/wiki/patty_bouvier): you made good time, there. Must have been that fling from the law you have done.
going to the lu
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): apu, youve got to help me warn krusty of this alien plot, and thus saving the good people of springfield.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): i am sorry, sir, but i cannot speak english! I can only speak hindi.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): but youre speaking english, now.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): yes, i learned these words phonetically.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): youre just scared about getting vaporized by the space monsters.
[apu nahasapeemapetilon](/wiki/apu_nahasapeemapetilon): up, down, up, down, go hot dog, button your undershirt, blah, blah, blah.
(not making any headway with apu, bart goes to see otto the bus driver)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): otto mann! I need a ride.
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): no can do, little dude. I gotta round up these other little dudes and get them to krustylu for the studio tour.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): thats where i need to go. Step on it, otto!
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): ok, right after i drop these kids off at krustylu.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): otto, i just said that.
[otto mann](/wiki/otto_mann): alright! Stop hassling me, midget abraham lincoln!
getting down with the clown
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): barney, wheres krusty? I have to warn him.
[barney gumble](/wiki/barney_gumble): krustys not here, little homer. Hes down at the [squidport](/wiki/squidport), doing a promo for this new buzz cola.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): but thats the cola the aliens are using to control all human behavior.
[barney gumble](/wiki/barney_gumble): control human behavior? No beverage can do that. Oh, no... I havent had a duff in two hours! My life is over! (Groans)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): but i have to get to krusty before the limo does.
[barney gumble](/wiki/barney_gumble): and i have to stay here and go through the dts.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): sounds like a plan.
lab coat caper
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): krusty, man, listen carefully: aliens are handing out free laser guns and cola that makes you go crazy. Itll be a massacre — the streets will be littered with lasered-off limbs and heads!
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown): yeah, right, and im gettin into the country western hall of fame. It just aint gonna happen, kid.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): oh, i just got to find evidence. Who do i know thats smart enough to prove this alien conspiracy? [Bumblebee man](/wiki/bumblebee_man)? [Comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy)? [Disco stu](/wiki/disco_stu)? Thats it! A nerd! [Professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink)!
duff for me, duff for you
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): professor frink! Youve gotta help me! No one believes my story! Its just like the boy who cried wolf, except instead of a wolf, its an alien conspiracy!
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): aliens? That would explain the strange transmissions from my plutonium cb radio. I mustve intercepted an alien message. It says theyre hiding the lasers in the duff trucks. Gla-hady, the plot is convoluted now.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): relax, nerdlinger! Ill knock the lasers out of the trucks so i can show them to krusty.
(bart heads over to the [duff brewery](/wiki/duff_brewery) and stops the duff truck by destroying six boxes of laser guns, then heads back to the brewery blimp and collects a laser gun to use as proof)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): if i show this to krusty, hell have to believe me! I cant believe i have a working laser gun and am using it for good. I am such a sell-out!
full metal jackass
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): principal skinner, aliens are distributing deadly lasers all over [springfield](/wiki/springfield)! We gotta warn everybody!
[seymour skinner](/wiki/seymour_skinner): all we got to do, young man, is get that illicit goo-god off your hands. Clearly you forgot the schools zero-tolerance policy on lasers.
(bart goes after skinner and recovers the laser gun)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): now to show the proof to krusty... And if he doesnt believe me now, ill fry his butt!
set to kill
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): krusty, i have proof, now! See this laser gun?
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown): well. Whaddya know? You were tellin the truth. Youve taught this old clown a lesson. Uh, blah, blah, blah, etcetera, etcetera, stay in school. I just wish you told me before i let them set up those free laser gun stands.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): oh, man, i better get some heavy artillery if im gonna take out that much private property. Kearney should have something good.
(bart goes to kearney who is in krustylu studio)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, kearney, i need to do a lot of collateral damage in the minimum amount of time.
[kearney zzyzwicz](/wiki/kearney_zzyzwicz): ive got just the thing. I have a car that was owned by a supervillain. He used it to conquer the east coast.
(bart purchases the [globex super villain car](/wiki/globex_super_villain_car) and goes through [squidport](/wiki/squidport) as he destroys every laser stand and rush back to the studio to talk to krusty)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): oh, why didnt i just do this in the first place?
[krusty the clown](/wiki/krusty_the_clown): oh, why didnt i know that show girl last night was a guy? Hindsights always 20-20.
kang and kodos strike back
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): dad, the aliens have taken over the [duff brewery](/wiki/duff_brewery) and theyre using it to store laser guns! Ohh, never in my life had i have to do so much explaining.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): what?! This is duffs worst disgrace since duff ice! Its time to use my secret weapon! Remember when i told you i sold my old car so you could go to college?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): yeah?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): it was a lie.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): (laughs) yay! Tough lucks worth more.
movie 5: an evil plot so severe
(bart and homer drive over to the [duff brewery](/wiki/duff_brewery) blimp base where [kang](/wiki/kang) and [kodos](/wiki/kodos) park their ufo as they come out of the pit and speak to them)
[kang](/wiki/kang): the lasers were only the beginning!
[kodos](/wiki/kodos) : even now, our all purpose evil cola is spreading underground through your water supply. It will wake the dead! Zombies will rise from the grave and devour the living!
[k](/wiki/kodos)[ang](/wiki/kang) : and our ratings will rise! Rise to levels unseen since the heyday of [evening shade](https://en.Wikipedia.Org/wiki/evening_shade). (The siblings laugh as they fly away)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): oh, man, that sounds cool! (Homer looks at him) i mean... Oh, no! I hope their plan fails! ...Who am i kidding? Zombies eating brains! Oh, this is gonna rock!
milking the pigs
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): hey, snake.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): hey, kid dude. Whats up?
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): uh, im looking for a wheelman.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): tempting. Tell you what, dude: i just walked out of [springfield prison](/wiki/springfield_penitentiary). But, if you clear up a few loose ends for me, i will help you.
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): cool! A chance to use my petty thug training!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): groovy! First up, wiggum is keeping the evidence from my trial in his car. Snatch it, and he aint got nothin on me. Ha ha.
(bart destroys chief wiggums car and goes back to snake)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): ok, thats one smacked up pork-bag.
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): oh, yes! I am a free man, again! Now lets get a little venture-capital, shall we? I hear [fat tony](/wiki/fat_tony) is totally paying big bucks for every milk truck that gets smashed up. Lord knows why, but hes the kingpin, apparently.
(bart destroys the milk truck and then returns to snake)
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): ok, dude, heres the deal: you need me, you just call my service and i will be there. Later, dude.
level 7: nightmare on evergreen terror
kwik-e-mart time trial
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hey, zombie! Youre working at the dmv, now?!
half-headed zombie: braaaaaaaaains...
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): thank you; i do have nice brains.
(the zombie starts the race)
half-headed zombie: braaaaaains... Braaaaaaiiiins...!
(homer wins the time trial)
half-headed zombie: mrrruuugh...?
haunted suburbia circuit race
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): if i win this, you have to promise not to eat my brains.
garment-worn zombie: noooo... Deal...
(the zombie starts the race)
garment-worn zombie: braaaiiin? Braaains? Braaaiiiins!
(homer wins the circuit race)
garment-worn zombie: hrrrrruuurrrrr.....
suburban-countryside checkpoint race ii
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): ok, living dead; lets do this and get back to try to kill each other!
lowlife zombie: arms... Legs... Limbs...!
(the zombie starts the race)
lowlife zombie: brain... Brains... Brains!
(homer wins the checkpoint race)
lowlife zombie: uuuurrrrrgh?!
rigor motors
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): dad! The [zombies](/wiki/zombies) are on the way! Shouldnt we do something?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): not now, lisa; im trying to listen to the baseball game.
[kent brockman](/wiki/kent_brockman): (on television) its the top of the seventh and, oh, god, [zombies](/wiki/zombies)! Theyre devouring the crowd. Now... Ah, theyre eating my brain! Oh, the pain! Ahhhhhh!!!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): oh, alright; ill get some survival supplies. Stupid brockman, getting eaten by [zombies](/wiki/zombies)...
(homer goes over to the flanders house and asks ned for a first aid kit)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): flanders, give me your first aid kit.
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): well, i was hoping to save it for rodder and todder to bandage their brain-eating boo-boos.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): look, just rub a bible on them.
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): will that work to fend off [zombies](/wiki/zombies)?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): who am i, doctor science?
[ned flanders](/wiki/ned_flanders): okely-dokely! Heres the first aid kit!
[rod flanders](/wiki/rod_flanders): daddy, if the [zombies](/wiki/zombies) are dead, why arent they in heaven?
[todd flanders](/wiki/todd_flanders): i hope my brain feeds a poor, hungry zombie.
(homer collects the first aid kit and heads over to the spucklers house for boards)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): lets see... What can i use to board up the windows? Ah, i know! Boards!
[cletus spuckler](/wiki/cletus_spuckler): (yells at homer for stealing his boards) hey, come back here! Dems our sleepin-on-boards! Oh, guess i hafta use a hog fo a pillow, now...
(homer then drives to moes house to get a weapon)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): moe, i need your chainsaw to chop up attacking [zombies](/wiki/zombies).
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): but then how will i defend myself?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): moe, moe, moe... Shouldnt the weapons go to people who have loved ones?
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): (sighs) yeah, i guess so.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): i think i made my point.
[moe szyslak](/wiki/moe_szyslak): well, i better comb my hair before the [zombies](/wiki/zombies) get here. (Sighs) my life stinks.
long black probes
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hey! You there! Smelly sam! Whats going on?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): the alien craft is using some sort of tractor beam to suck up trespassers to their doom. Worst. Effects. Ever.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): but thats real!
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): worst. Effects. Ever.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): whats with the [cool black car](/wiki/ferrini-black)?
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): if my knowledge of sci-fi movies is correct, which it is, the black car is an advanced probe for the mothership. Now, if were through, i will spend my last hours on earth, complaining about movies on the internet.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): the gift of life is wasted on you.
[comic book guy](/wiki/comic_book_guy): yes, i recommend you obtain a zombie car. It will protect you well, but it runs on human brains. A slight drawback.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): i got plenty of those!
(homer follows the probe car to the [springfield nuclear power plant](/wiki/springfield_nuclear_power_plant))
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): the power plant? Im bored of this level.
pocket protector
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): im glad youre here, my morbidly obese ally. Based on my mathulations, ive figured out the aliens weakness: its nuclear waste! Yuck!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): uh, and how does that affect me?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): well, it could save the life of you and your family.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): and?
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): look, ive loaded my vehicle with nuclear waste from the power plant. Its going to deliver this toxic payload to the alien ship, risking myself and my delicious brain to zombie snacking which, if youve never undergone that, i can tell you it stings.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): what a hero! And i never knew his name.
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): uh, its professor john frink.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (shakes his fist) are you still here?
(homer and frink go to the ufo in the playground as frink gets sucked up and blows up)
[professor frink](/wiki/professor_frink): nice alien craft. Now to just get out of the path of the... Tractor beam!!! Oh, its sucking me up!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (devilish laughter) boy, talking about hitting the nerd! (Continued nefarious laughter). If i am going to kill these town filming, black car driving, cola poisoning, laser distributing, reality show filming monsters, i am going to need some more toxic waste!
theres something about monty
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): i need to find some nuclear waste, and fast!
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): why dont you ask mr. Burns? His buried nuclear waste has poisoned [springfield](/wiki/springfield) for years to come.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): good ol mr. Burns! Hell save us! Thank goodness for nuclear waste.
(homer goes to the [springfield nuclear power plant](/wiki/springfield_nuclear_power_plant) but it seems like the probe car is chasing him and he must lose it)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): uh-oh. Its that black car, again! Ohh, it has the agility of a sub-boss combined with the tenacity of a level boss!
alien autotopsy part i
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): ooh, is it you, merryweather, come to haunt me, again? I killed you once... I...
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): mr. Burns! Its me, homer simpson!
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): so, youre not the ghost of my former partner? Phew... Well, that was... Well.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): look, i need to get some barrels of radioactive waste to save [springfield](/wiki/springfield) from the aliens.
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): i agree; illegal aliens are a nuisance.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): not leafblower aliens; tentacle aliens.
[charles montgomery burns](/wiki/charles_montgomery_burns): go. In that case, heres a map to where i buried nuclear barrels all over [springfield](/wiki/springfield). They wont be able to find me — bleeding heart liberals. I hope they... Bleed from the heart.
(homer drives with the vehicle of his choice with nuclear waste attached to it, he goes near the ufo as the vehicle blows up)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): oh, man! My car is gone! And the ashtray was full of pennies! Im gonna need another car fast!
alien autotopsy part ii
(homer approaches snake jailbird)
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): wow. Imagine — me getting car jacked. What a total switcheroo.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): just go!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): and what will you do if i dont?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): flip you the bird!
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): ok, dont get freaky! Get in!
(snake and homer reach the ufo with the nuclear waste as snake gets abducted)
[snake jailbird](/wiki/snake_jailbird): sayonara, dude!
alien autotopsy part iii
(homer approaches abe)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): whered you get that sweet ride?
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): i bought it with my social security. Thank you, uncle sucker.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): gimme a lift. I gotta save [springfield](/wiki/springfield).
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): youre not gonna sacrifice me for the greater good, are you son?
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): well see, dad. Well see...
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): (groans)
(homer and abraham successfully reaches the ufo and homer bails out)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): (as abraham is nearly at the bottom of the ufo) hurry up! I have to pee!
movie 6: last wasteful drop
[abraham simpson](/wiki/abraham_simpson): (having been abducted by the beam) i smell tooooaast!!!
(the nuclear waste explodes on impact as the ufo loses control and crash-lands into the [springfield elementary school](/wiki/springfield_elementary_school))
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): eat nuclear death you effeminate, wrinkly space wads! (Giggles) imagine that — scared of some harmless nuclear waste. So very harmless. Ow!
(homer looks at his back and there is a third hand scratching him)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): cut your finger nails!
(the rigellian siblings emerge from the crashed ufo looking like they are about to die)
[kang](/wiki/kang): that fortune teller was right: i do end up dying in a spaceship crash.
(a spacevariety newspaper article comes up, then the simpsons are gathered up on the sofa at home)
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): dad, im really proud of you for rescuing us all from that alien invasion.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): did that really happen? I thought that was a bad dream after eating too many raw hot dogs.
[marge simpson](/wiki/marge_simpson): no, homie. Youre the town hero.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): sweet! And the ninja babysitters? Was that real or a hot dog dream?
[lisa simpson](/wiki/lisa_simpson): hot dog dream.
(bart runs in from the other living room)
[bart simpson](/wiki/bart_simpson): dad, your fans want you outside!
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): fans?
(homer puts his duff can down to see what is going on outside. He opens the door to show tons of different coloured [rigellians](/wiki/rigellians))
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): oh. Those fans.
(homer bends down and grabs his newspaper; he gets up, the different colored [rigellians](/wiki/rigellians) cheer, and encourage him to show off by showing his muscles. The camera pans over to the sky where [kang](/wiki/kang) and [kodos](/wiki/kodos) are on a cloud)
[kang](/wiki/kang): at least our show was a success.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): why did we go to earth heaven when we died?
[kang](/wiki/kang): at least we dont have to sit through the stupid video game credits.
(kodos points down as kang looks down as the ending title moves up)
[kang](/wiki/kang): nooooooo!!!
flaming tires
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): mr. Smithers, can you help me out? There are some scary, weird, godless fascinating stuff going on.
[waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers): not now, mr. Simpson. Mr. Burns wants me to run some errands, but i have a brunch date. You know how it is.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): whatever. Just give me the mission.
(homer collects mr. Burns sock garters and sees mr. Smithers)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): here you go, mr. Smithers.
[waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers): oh, thank god! The socks have been pulling around his ankles for days and this is his favorite brand. Allan quartermains keep-em-ups.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hmm... What next?
(homer collects doc wundersteins tooth powder and returns to mr. Smithers)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): doc wundersteins tooth powder.
[waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers): thanks, simpson. Mr. Burns doesnt have teeth anymore but it makes him feel young when i rub this on his gums. Things we do for love.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): ugh, thats gross... Whats next?
(homer collects the yes, we have no bananas record and heads back to mr. Smithers)
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): what does he need this for?
[waylon smithers](/wiki/waylon_smithers): um, mr. Burns, likes to bo-do-de-oh-cercize every morning, it keeps his muscles from falling off the bone.
[homer simpson](/wiki/homer_simpson): hehe, great. Gotta go!
credits
the credits roll as you can see different kinds of people who are behind the makings of this game. Plus kang and kodos are talking during the ending about them.
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on producer john melchior) that guy deserves such a probing. Who are these people? I never saw them during production.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): they implement torture and punishment. The other drones scuddle and run at their approach.
[kang](/wiki/kang): what is the difference between a associate producer and a producer anyway?
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): uh, if you ask me, these humans spent too much time exchanging all protein strands with one another.
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on the vivendi universal games marketing team) so, what about this clutch of primates?
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): they dispense the millions of green currency credits required to build the recreational software.
[kang](/wiki/kang): what do earthlings do with these green credits?
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): they are used to control the rationing of essential items like food and toilet seats! (Groans in revolt) if i get another memo from that guy, i swear im going to plotz!
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on radical entertainment producer vlad cerali) this one is the alpha-male. His sweet odor and brightly-colored shirts ensure dominance.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): hell never know his workers have been slowly poisoning him. I really have no idea what these people did.
[kang](/wiki/kang): next year, lets use the female for our cross-fertilization initiative.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): ha! She wouldnt give you ten seconds.
[kang](/wiki/kang): talk about a waste of dna.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): indeed, ive met smarter people in the drunk tank.
(after a few names of people have scrolled down)
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): these humans were okay.
[kang](/wiki/kang): this guy was always saying, dont go there. What a loser. One of these guys had the creepiest forehead.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): hmph! Ive blown better special effects out of my smell-hole!
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on the animators) these people made me quote movies in the software. Hopefully not everyone will skip their creations as i did.
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on the artists) these humans make me look fat.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): oh, stop it. Youre as thin as the day i birthed you.
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on the programmers) and these bi-peds?
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): they are the slaved underclass, tied to radiation dispensers day and night.
[kang](/wiki/kang): truly death is their only release.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): this one is most entertaining! I lead my aids in his brain tissue.
[kang](/wiki/kang): (on the designers) the earthlings never learned that we replaced these guys with clones eons ago.
[kodos](/wiki/kodos): to them, our bloody vengeance will soon be complete.
kodos: so, these must be the auditory humanoids. Strange, how they are all so old.
character dialogue
pedestrians
- hey!
- look out!
- watch out!
- this is the worst town in america!
- hey! Eyes on the road, jerk!
- gwah?!
- maniac!
- jerk!
- bully!
- meanie!
- poopy-face!
- my face!
- my teeth!
- my spine!
- help!
- help me!
- hey! Watch it!
- careful!
- this is a school zone!
- youre mean!
- ey, get your face outta my face!
- what the heck were you thinking?!
- quit it already!
- ow! Stop it!
- this isnt funny.
- im calling mother!
- goodbye, cruel world.
- spines dont bend that way!
- heh. Thanks a lot, mr. Break-my-legs.
- i am so sick of this happening!
- that does it. Im moving to
[shelbyville](/wiki/shelbyville).
- you almost hit a person!!
- this is really a bad day.
- careful! I have bad reflexes!
- im scared and disorientated!
- im not afraid to die!
- i dont like you!
- hey, watch out!
- why did you do that?
- i regret nothing!
- im flying!
- you havent seen the last of me!
- not again!
- ugh! Why is this happening?!
- whats wrong with you?!
- i dont like you!
- slow down!
- you better run!
- i need a sick day.
- whats happening?!
- this isnt right at all!
- im getting a lawyer!
- beat it, buddy!
- youre mean!
- this is one weird place!
- that was my last baby tooth!
- leave me alone!!
- make it stop!!
- no running!
- huh. Takes more than that to kill me.
- watch it, buddy!
- you cant touch me there. Nothing gives you that right.
- |
| ( Read More... | 198910 bytes more | comments? | ) |
| |
| Op-Ed: State of the Territory | A Beautiful Bill for Some, A Full-Blown Disaster |
| Posted on Saturday, July 05 @ 00:00:28 PDT (4 reads) | |
|
|
In her biweekly column, “state of the territory,” former sen. Janelle k. Sarauw delves deeper into issues of concern for v.I. Residents.
the u.S. Senate’s passage of the one big beautiful bill act (obbba) marks a dangerous inflection point in american domestic policy, and for the people of the u.S. Virgin islands, it sets off alarm bells we can no longer afford to ignore. Billed as a transformative fiscal package aimed at restoring “american greatness,” this legislation is nothing short of a disaster for small, under-resourced jurisdictions like ours. If enacted in its current form, it would not just cut services. It would systematically dismantle the fragile support systems that keep our territory afloat.
this is not abstract policy. It is a direct attack on our healthcare system, our social safety net, our children, our seniors, our working families, our hospitals, our economy, and the very political status that denies us a meaningful voice in federal decision-making. Obbba is not just a budget bill. It is a structural earthquake, one that threatens to leave the virgin islands buried under the rubble.
- medicaid meltdown and the collapse of public health
obbba’s changes to medicaid are among the most dangerous elements of the bill. The legislation recalculates funding based on population size rather than healthcare needs, which is a death sentence for the virgin islands. Our small population, spread across three islands, disproportionately older, and often battling chronic illnesses, already stretches limited medicaid dollars to the brink. Reverting to capped block grants based on population rather than actual healthcare costs guarantees a massive shortfall.
and it does not stop there. The bill imposes expanded work requirements, now including parents of children as young as 15. On paper, that might look like reform. In practice, it is a policy disaster. Many virgin islanders who are technically “able-bodied” work in low-wage, part-time, or seasonal jobs without benefits. Others are caregivers, managing family obligations that disqualify them from formal employment. This blunt policy shift does not acknowledge those realities. It punishes them.
the result is that thousands of virgin islanders stand to lose their medicaid coverage. They will turn to our already overwhelmed public hospitals, schneider regional and juan f. Luis, for care they can no longer afford. These hospitals, already operating on razor-thin margins, will be forced to absorb astronomical increases in uncompensated care. Without adequate reimbursement, they will buckle under the pressure. Layoffs will follow. Essential services will be cut. And patients will suffer.
- death by a thousand cuts: social services gutted
this bill is not just anti-healthcare. It is anti-poor, anti-worker, and anti-territory. The ripple effects across core social safety net programs will be devastating:
- snap (food assistance): eligibility restrictions and asset tests will disqualify working families who rely on food support. Many virgin islanders already face food insecurity. This will make it worse.
- section 8 and map housing: the federal government is signaling cuts to affordable housing programs. In a territory already suffering from a housing crisis, this means longer waitlists, more homelessness, and greater instability.
- head start and early childhood education: these programs are the cornerstone of opportunity for low-income children. Reductions in federal funding will mean fewer seats, fewer services, and less early intervention.
- meals on wheels and senior services: for isolated seniors, meals on wheels is sometimes the only consistent source of food and social interaction. With funding on the chopping block, many seniors may be left behind.
- childcare assistance: as childcare subsidies shrink, families will face impossible choices between working and parenting. Without support, workforce participation will drop, and poverty will rise.
- liheap (low-income energy assistance): in one of the hottest, most expensive energy markets in the u.S., Cuts to energy assistance programs for seniors could force them to choose between electricity and medicine. That is not hyperbole. It is fact.
iii. Education, disaster recovery, and federal program erosion
beyond healthcare and social services, obbba presents a direct and dangerous threat to public education in the virgin islands. At every level—from early childhood through higher education—our schools depend heavily on federal funding streams that are now at risk.
- title i grants, which support public schools with large low-income student populations, could be reduced or capped. This would mean fewer teachers, fewer instructional aides, and fewer after-school programs. Nearly all public schools in the territory qualify as title i, so the damage would be widespread.
- special education funding under idea could be slashed or frozen, leaving children with disabilities without access to essential support services, including speech and occupational therapy.
- pell grants and trio programs at the university of the virgin islands could face flat funding or reductions, threatening access to higher education for low-income, first-generation college students.
- head start and early head start programs, already serving hundreds of children across st. Croix, st. Thomas, and st. John, would likely see enrollment limits, staffing shortages, and diminished programming if early education funds are cut.
- capital improvement and post-disaster rebuilding efforts in the public school system, especially critical following hurricanes irma and maria, may slow down or stall entirely if infrastructure grants and discretionary appropriations dry up.
the virgin islands department of education is already managing significant challenges, including teacher shortages, facility deterioration, and chronic underfunding. Obbba would strip away what little stability remains. Federal education dollars are not supplemental here—they are foundational. Without them, the future of public education in the virgin islands becomes uncertain.
- public sector job loss and institutional fragility
as federal dollars disappear, so do jobs. The virgin islands relies heavily on federally funded positions across healthcare, education, social services, and nonprofits. Obbba will directly lead to job losses across multiple sectors, including:
- human services
- public health
- nonprofit programs
- childcare centers
- energy and housing support agencies
these are not just jobs. They are services, lifelines, and systems. When they disappear, the damage will cascade.
- political status and systemic injustice laid bare
at its core, this bill reveals a deeper truth. The united states treats the territories as expendable. We are subject to federal laws but denied full political representation. We do not vote for president. Our delegate cannot vote on final legislation. Yet we bear the full brunt of congressional austerity.
when lawmakers say able-bodied adults should “go get better jobs,” they are imagining an economic landscape that does not exist in the virgin islands. When they gut programs like medicaid, snap, and liheap, they are acting as if these are handouts to freeloaders, rather than what they are, which is essential scaffolding for survival in a structurally disadvantaged society.
by withdrawing federal investment without structural reform, this bill punishes the virgin islands for the very conditions congress helped create and now refuses to remedy.
what happens next: a crisis in the making
if the bill becomes law, the virgin islands will be left to absorb the costs that washington refuses to acknowledge. Our hospitals will see their uncompensated care costs skyrocket. Our nonprofit service providers will face impossible demand with shrinking grant support. Our local government, already financially constrained, will be forced to stretch its limited resources even further to cover federal shortfalls. And the people, especially our children, elders, and working poor, will pay the price.
this is not a bill for a better america. It is a bill that punishes poverty, ignores complexity, and treats the territories as expendable.
final implication: institutional strain, political reckoning
ultimately, the full implication of obbba is that it breaks the social contract between the federal government and the virgin islands. It disinvests in healthcare, education, housing, energy, disaster preparedness, and human capital, all while limiting the territory’s ability to adapt or respond. It is, in effect, a forced austerity regime imposed on a community that already lacks full political representation or fiscal autonomy.
if enacted, this legislation will exacerbate poverty, widen inequality, deepen political alienation, and destabilize the most essential institutions of our society. And unlike the states, where political backlash can result in electoral accountability, the people of the virgin islands would suffer the consequences without a vote, without a voice, and without meaningful recourse.
a path forward
the one big beautiful bill act may represent political strategy for some, but for the virgin islands, it poses immediate and profound threats to our health system, social safety net, and economic stability. As such, it demands a thoughtful and coordinated response. Now is the time for our leaders, both local and federal, to assess the implications in full, engage with decision-makers in washington, and advocate firmly for carve-outs, exemptions, and policy adjustments that reflect the unique realities of life in the territories.
we are not asking for special treatment. We are asking for fairness, flexibility, and a recognition of structural difference. The people of the virgin islands, resilient, hard-working, and proud, deserve policies that empower rather than policies that dismantle.
editor’s note: opinion articles do not represent the views of the virgin islands source newsroom and are the sole expressed opinion of the writer. Submissions can be made to visource@gmail.Com. |
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